Bunny is no stranger to moving. She did her first military move when from Italy to Georgia when she was just four months old, but since I’m pretty sure she didn’t have a care in the world back then, this move will be a whole new ball game. Now, at three years old, she understands and questions everything, so we wanted to make sure she comprehended what’s about to happen, before it happens.
Luckily, since Bunny is in that lovely stage of life where she asks questions about anything and everything, the minute Mister Rabbit and I started talking about California, her little ears perked up. Right away, we took advantage of the situation and started telling her all about moving there.
We took the approach of making it all sound extremely fun. Basically, right now she thinks she’s going to Disney World with how fun we’re making the move sound. If you ask her about moving, she’ll practically start bouncing up and down with joy as she tells you that we’re, “moving to California tomorrow.” (We’re working on explaining that the move is happening in two months, not tomorrow.)
Even though my husband and I talk about the big move all the time, I try to intentionally talk about it with her throughout the day on terms she can understand. For example: She currently goes to school twice a week, so while we drive to school I’ll tell her, in an excited voice, that when we get to California, we get to find a new school where she’ll get to make new friends! Or, if we’re walking around our neighborhood I’ll tell her that when we get to our new home we’ll get to go on new adventures and see new places.
She’s a smart cookie, and caught on pretty quickly, and now she’s starting to ask about things in our house that she’d like to take with her. That was a great transition to telling her about what will happen when the movers come and basically take over our house as they pack everything up.
We’re explaining that all of our stuff is coming with us, and that a new family will live in our current house. She’s actually been drawing pictures for the new tenants even though we don’t have the slightest idea who will rent out our current home. We’re also making sure she understands that we’re all going with her, and that we’re in this new adventure together.
Does she completely understand the concept of moving? Nope. But at least she won’t be blindsided when everything starts to happen. I’m actually thankful she’s young enough to not understand, because moving can be a really dramatic and stressful experience.
Have you made a big move like this before? How did you explain it to your kids?
pomelo / 5628 posts
We didn’t make a big move, but we did move locally right around age 3. He actually helped me go through some of his toys and decide which ones we should take to the new house and which ones we should give to another little kid to play with. For us, we were also able to visit the new house while still in the old which helped. (I wonder if you can should Google Street or something?). He basically thought it was super exciting. We also changed schools and it went really well. Good luck to you!! It really is a good age for it because everything seems new anyway.
guest
We also did a local move when our daughter was almost 3. Local is pretty different, but she did still have questions rooted in typical kid uncertainty/fears even though she seemed unphased and mostly excited. So some things that helped us:
Books – Bernstein Bears has a good moving book, there are others too (names escaping me)
Pack her boxes – she participated here and there for all her boxes, but we made sure to have her actively put in things she was worried about. We gave her special stickers/labels for her boxes so she would realize the boxes she packed made it. She LOVED this. “My butterfly box got here! What about my frog box? Oh I see it!!!” It didn’t matter that she didn’t remember them all, it gave her security when she would remember/look.
Pack a suitcase – she got excited about this just because, but also it was 1 thing she could rely on (this came with us, didn’t go on the truck) with her most important stuff, PJs for the night, etc..
Activity during mover time – we had some friends take her when they packed up the house. Practical, plus didn’t want her to get upset.
Visited the empty house – I wasn’t sure about this, but had to go to the house anyway to leave something for the renters, and I heard it could be helpful. I think it was good – she got to see that EVERYTHING had been taken from the house, see her empty room and say “goodbye house!!”
Prioritize unpacking her stuff – a classic suggestion I thought was great. By that night I had her room at about 90% and made made for an easier first night.
We have an easy-going kid but she was going through a lot of other transitions (baby on the way, potty training, etc) and I think taking the time to do these small things was at least partly responsible for the fact that she moved seamlessly to the new house (with only the occasional moments of talking about missing her old house).
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
@SCB: such great tips! I love the sticker idea for the boxes!
pineapple / 12566 posts
We have made several big moves. I did what you are doing, making it an exciting new adventure and talking about all the positive things to look forward to.
blogger / clementine / 750 posts
@Mrs Green Grass: I LOVE the idea of having her help go through the toys. That’s on my list to go through soon, so perfect idea!
@SCB: SO many fantastic ideas, thank you!!! I especially love the idea of getting her room set up ASAP to help her get used to her new normal. Unfortunately (in this case), we won’t be packing our boxes, but I can certainly let her help unpack! And now that you mention it, maybe I’ll look into getting her her own suitcase for the trip.
pomelo / 5628 posts
@Mrs. Rabbit: wait don’t you mean fortunately you won’t be packing the boxes?! Ha.
cherry / 141 posts
We did a move from Texas to Scotland when our wee girl was 18 months old. She really had no idea what was going on and did the transition well. We lived there for 2 years and loved it and currently just moved back to Texas. She was 3 1/2 years old when we moved back and we reiterated the “we are moving. we will not go to the same school. we will not do this…” but we also focused on positives. “We will have a new room to decorate. We will have new people to meet.” etc. I think it depends alot on your child but so far we’ve done okay. I’m not sure how well we would do with angsty older kids though.