My sister and I always joked about combining our families because we are so close. Well, turns out that it may really become a reality! When we moved back to Los Angeles from NYC, we crashed with my sister and it was totally fine. However, this was before any kids were in the house and it was pretty easy to live with other adults. Now that we are considering having our kids and our husbands under one roof, it really raised a lot of questions of whether this would be a good idea. Living with grandparents is pretty common, but what about a whole other family with their young kids? I am a master of making a list of pros and cons. It really helps me evaluate the issue as thoroughly as possible.

PROS of living with another family:

  • entertainment for your kids (no need for play dates!)
  • unlimited date nights when the kid are asleep!
  • a nicer home (combining our incomes)
  • the feeling of a big, full house (if you like that sort of thing)
  • borrowing clothes from your older sister (lucky for me!)
  • kids learning similar values they would be learning in a daycare (how to share, how to wait for others, etc.)
  • becoming close to other adults
  • saving money
  • being able to have help at your feet when you’re sick or physically unable
  • combining toys
  • sharing nanny costs

CONS of living with another family:

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  • less alone time
  • sometimes chaotic atmosphere
  • having to parent another child besides your own
  • more cooking
  • bigger messes to clean up
  • less private moments with your immediate family
  • possible “roommate” type of conflicts
  • possible times of our kids not getting along
  • not being able to have people over without asking the other family if it’s ok

It seemed obvious to me that right now, it did seem like a good idea for us to live together. Convincing sisters to live together, even with our families, was not that big of a deal. But convincing our husbands was a whole other thing. Of course they all get along just fine, but I’m sure most people prefer having their own private living space. Everyone wants to chill out in their underwear whenever they want and not be judged if they just want to be alone. But for now, with our little ones only about 7 months apart, it seems like a good idea.

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We have been searching for the right type of home. Here are some really great things to think about when it comes to living with 2 families:

  • Consider having one family on each floor to make it seem more separate
  • Have a meeting to formally discuss how finances, house duties would work and the expectations of living together
  • Pick one day of the week when it will be “immediate family day” so that you will be able to just spend time with your own family
  • Really ask how the husbands (or the non-blood family member) truly feel about each step of the way to make sure they’re on the same page
  • Discuss how and when the family will move out in the future
  • Make a note of how each person chooses to relax/wind down

In the end, we are hoping to find a home that will at least have a lower bedroom (and bathroom) for me and Mr. Pencil. The kids and my sister’s family will all live upstairs. We really wanted a place where the living space area, kitchen and backyard was the main attraction. We didn’t really care too much about bedrooms because according to other people who have families, we would probably spend most of our time in the living space.

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Has anyone else had any experiences living with other families, besides the grandparents? What are some tips you can share?