My journey back to my pre-pregnancy weight
My journey back to my pre-pregnancy weight

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with fitness and weight. As a 5’7 big-boned person with an athletic build, I’ve never had the quintessential Asian waif-like figure. Growing up it didn’t help that my mom and sister were both petite and thin. Once my mom tried to comfort me saying that kids called her “chopstick legs” when she was young, to which my response was, “oh, please!” I used to look at pictures of my mom at my age and wonder why I lost the genetic lottery (I was a tad dramatic at 16).

Although I was never technically heavy, I was heavy for an Asian girl. As a teenager I tried every diet under the sun including, Atkins, low-cal, juice cleanse and even more extreme things like binging and purging. Luckily none of them ever stuck around long. In college, the disruption to my previously regimented schedule combined with frozen yogurt and late night pizza meant I gained a ton of weight the first year. What made that transition even harder was that I grew up doing sports and that stopped once I got to college. As an athlete I never had to think about staying fit because I would just go to practice and follow a set training schedule.

By my sophomore year I was ready to make some changes and started joining my friends at the gym. But I struggled with the willpower to make it to the gym (even though it was a 2-minute walk from my dorm), then once I got there it became a social hour. Most days I would leave the gym without even breaking a sweat. It’s hard for me to admit but it wasn’t until I graduated from college and was diagnosed with cancer that I really started paying closer attention to my health.

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During grad school, Mr. Ice Cream talked me into doing the “Couch to 5K” program. At first I was adamant about “not being a runner” but eventually agreed to give it a shot. If you aren’t familiar with Couch to 5K, it is a program designed to get non-runners to a 5K in 9 weeks. 156 weeks later we did it! And the even more impressive thing is that somewhere along the line I actually started to enjoy running. I finally understood it when my friends said running was the best stress reliever. And for the first time in my adult life I had stumbled my way into a regular exercise routine and it felt great. I was in the best shape of my life since high school and it felt like a major accomplishment. In March 2014 we ran our first 10K then in June 2014 we found out I was pregnant.

Mr. Ice Cream and I before we ran our first 10K
Mr. Ice Cream and me before we ran our first 10K

When I got pregnant, I’m almost embarrassed to admit that one of my biggest fears was losing the baby weight. Before M was even born I was selfishly plotting my return to my pre-pregnancy jeans. Despite gaining over 40 pounds during my pregnancy, I kept up a fairly regular exercise routine until about 36 weeks.

Fast forward to now, these days my exercise habits are sporadic at best. I’ll have spurts where I’ll consistently make it to the gym or go for quick runs, but nothing sticks. For a while after M was born, Mr. Ice Cream and I made it a priority to take turns going for a run after work. That worked for the first couple months until M started going through a sleep regression and we were way too exhausted to exercise. Then once M started crawling and getting into everything, it suddenly became increasingly difficult to find time to sneak in a workout. As a result, my weight has started inching back up. We haven’t given up completely on getting in shape, but for now we are accepting that we might be a little more winded while walking up stairs.

Some days I get really down on myself since I’m not as active as I’d like to be. I’m a little heavier than I’d like to be but I’m not bummed about it. I know that M won’t always be so little and there will be a time when I wished he needed me more, so right now I’m just enjoying chasing after my little monster even if I’m more winded doing it.

How do you fit fitness into your life with a little one?