Hellobee

I have three boys in second grade.  Wait… what? How did that even happen? To make matters worse my daughter is in Transitional Kindergarten. They are all at the same elementary school now. I drive up to the school gate and all four of them jump out of the car and wave back with a brief “bye Mom” as they run off to see which friends are already on the yard.

Now let me fill you in on a little secret about me. I am one of those people who loves babies. I could snuggle them all day every day. Every time I see a mom snuggling her newborn, I feel a pang of sadness that it will not be me again. I miss those days. Don’t get me wrong I don’t ever want to be pregnant again, but I miss those days. For my family the days of working to pick up their heads or struggling to crawl for the first time are long gone. When they went off to preschool I had to deal with them getting older. I even wrote this post about it 3 years ago. But now we are even further in this game of parenthood. Now I look back at 3 years ago when I thought my kids were getting old fast and think lady just wait, in three years they will be elementary school kids and you will have a few more gray hairs.

Not only are they not babies anymore, they aren’t preschoolers anymore. They are kids; my beautiful, kind and spirited kids. Some days they drive me nuts and make me yank my hair (and not just the gray ones) out and other days are fabulous. I love who they are becoming and I need to enjoy the ride. So I decided to come up with some of the reasons I love this life we are living now with older kids.

• Reading books or watching movies that aren’t G rated

Hello everyone can we say Harry Potter!! I love sharing these stories with my kids and reliving the magic as the adventures unfold. We have started The Goblet of Fire and they are dying to find out if Harry can survive the first task! I laugh as I close the book each night at the end of a chapter and they scream, “Noooo we need to know what happens.” I remember that excitement the first time I read them and now my kids show the same enthusiasm.

I hope Harry Potter will be a long time favorite in our house.

I can’t wait for them to get into The Lord of the Rings so they can understand when I hunch over and say “my precious” in my creepiest voice.  After watching The Princess Bride my daughter went running through the house yelling “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to Die.” We can dance around the house singing “you remind me of the babe, the babe with the power” while watching David Bowie in super tight pants as the Goblin king.  I think I may have given away just how much of a nerd I am. Oh well I am raising the next generations of nerds so watch out world.

In the spring I found out that one of my favorite books as a kid was coming out as a movie. Billboards for The BFG started popping up every where. I knew we needed to read it and go see it in theaters. So each night we read a chapter (or 2 or 3). We talked about how brave Sophie was and picked out our favorite parts of the book. Having three boys, it’s no surprise that they were most excited about seeing the scene where the BFG whizzpops (if you haven’t read the book this is the term for a rude bodily function) in front of the Queen of England. Opening day we were there at the theaters waiting to see how Steven Spielberg had brought the book to life. The kids laughed hysterically and jumped in fright at the mean giants and when we were done, they were able to figure out how the book and movie were different. These are memories I will cherish with my kids and I know there are so many more to make with them.

• Packing for a trip is not a ridiculous endeavor.

We travel to see our in-laws frequently. We also have done several long road trips. We used to fill our van with pack and plays and high chairs just so we could survive the weekend. We had so much stuff there was hardly any room for the kids. Now we can throw a suitcase with some clothes in it and head out. Seriously I can pack for a weekend in about 10 minutes! This is a glorious thing and I definitely celebrate it every time we are packing up the car. When we go for a day trip I don’t have multiple strollers and several bags full of supplies. I throw some water and snacks in a back pack and we are off. This is a freedom I hadn’t really thought about until lately  We went for a day at Disneyland and I didn’t take a single stroller. Not one, and we were fine. I didn’t have to get off a ride and think about where I had parked it. We just ran to the next ride.

• They do not need me 24/7

OK, so it might make me a little sad at times because they don’t need me as much, but at they same time I think hey, they don’t need me as much. My job as a mother is to get them ready for this world. I have to teach them how to get dressed and tie their shoes because I won’t be there forever to do those things. But then one morning all of a sudden they can get dressed and tie their shoes all by themselves while I am getting myself ready for work.

There is a possibility that I can use the restroom without someone screaming at the door. Don’t get too jealous yet it is only a slight possibility. Usually something apocalyptic happens the moment I close the door that requires my immediate attention.  Luckily with older kids I can tell them to wait and I will be out in a second knowing fully that this epic emergency can wait 30 seconds while I wash my hands.

I can tell them to play while I make dinner. Now I do spend time refereeing because four kids playing together is chaotic. I do have to yell stop running through the kitchen or you will get hurt. I do have to sometimes help with homework while trying not to burn whatever is on the stove. But I can still get it done because for a few brief moments in time they don’t need my help.

We went to the beach the other day and I actually sat down in my chair and watched them play in the water. As a kid I used to wonder why my mom always just sat on the beach watching us instead of getting in the water. Now I know. It’s because there comes a point in time where we moms can actually sit down and relax. I know it’s crazy to think but I did get to sit down. It was about 10 minutes before one of my kids came and said come on mom come swimming with us. But hey I got ten minutes in a chair. That is a big victory.

• Big kid activities

We have camped and traveled with them since they were little but we can do a lot more with them now. And whatever we do take on is more enjoyable and less exhausting. We can go out for the day and hike. My daughter will get a little tired before the boys but she is tough and she hangs in there with them. This is our second year in boy scouts and we absolutely love it. Girl scouts is coming as well as soon as my daughter turns five. I love seeing them come home with school projects that they have put a lot of effort into and just glow with pride at a job well done. They have started playing sports and having a desire to be with their friends more  I get to see how they are with their friends and see their caring hearts. This is a new joy for me. I loved those snuggle moments of infancy but to see them becoming good friends with another person is absolutely amazing.

• I get to see them develop into their own person.

As we navigate through the craziness of day to day activities, these little people are learning about the world and how they fit in. Sometimes when they are in the middle of an epic melt down (because yes even at seven sometimes it happens) I just think to myself, they WILL grow up to be good people. They are not really screaming about a broken crayon or not being able to find their favorite pair of socks, it is a deeper understanding of the world and disappointments and expectations unmet. As we go on in this journey I am beginning to understand my children for the people they are becoming and who they might be in the future.

James in a bit of an introvert and needs down time to remain calm. He is so compassionate and always amazes me. Plus he has a killer smile with deep dimples. He tries his hardest in school and just lights up when he finishes a task. He is a quiet thinker and makes me wonder what all he is contemplating. When he is ready he comes and we have long conversations and he asks me a ton of questions. Although his personality is very different from my own, he teaches me how to be his mom and how to lead him through this life. I can’t rush him. I have to give him the time he needs to process information and then we continue. He has an old and thoughtful soul and he is my absolute joy.

He is almost 8 and I can hardly believe it.

Joe, I think, is most like me. He loves to learn. He cares deeply and feels deeply. That can make him a little moody at times. Me too little guy I totally get it. I know, as a person who wears their heart on their sleeve too, I will have to help him navigate the emotions of this world. He wants to be a doctor someday and help make sick kids feel better. I could totally see that. He loves computers like his dad and loves to figure things out for himself. If we have a project to do he is right there helping us. He sees so much joy in this life I love to hear him talk about things he has done at school. Every day he comes home and tells me what happened in the chapter of Way Side School is falling down and then laughs hysterically with a laugh I cannot get enough off. He has a loud booming and kind of goofy laugh. Sorry kid you get that from me! He is a beautiful person inside and out.

Just turned 7 and it feels like just yesterday we found out I was pregnant with him and Nick.

Nick is enthusiastic and has energy that I wish I could bottle and sell. I know about a million moms who would be interested in that product. He loves adventures and nature. I could see him as a park ranger one day, but for now he wants to be a fighter pilot. He can’t get enough of museums and outings. He asks thoughtful and insightful questions when we go to museums or visitor centers. He can keep a docent busy for hours if they are willing to follow him around and fill his brain with their knowledge. Right now he is obsessed with geology and rocks and wants to learn everything he can about the earth and its formations. When we have a down day at home he is constantly asking where we are going and what are we doing. Someday he will learn the value of rest but right now he is just on the go. He is a bundle of joy and energy and keeps us all on the go having a great time and making memories as a family.

Constantly on the go for the last 7 years

Lilly is spirited and holds her own as the youngest with three brothers. She is a leader and a kind friend. My mom looks at her and says she is just like me when I was a kid so watch out when she is a teenager. (I have profusely apologized to my mother for my puberty induced insanity.) She is often described as precocious and talkative. She has a strong opinion of what she likes and what she wants.  At three we went looking for a Thor costume at Party City for her and when the cashier told her it was a boys’ costume she said, “It has a boy on the outside but I can wear it if I want. My grandma made me a skirt to wear with it.” Right on little lady! Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. I often think about how wonderful these characteristics will be when she grows up to be a strong independent young woman if her dad and I can just survive raising her.

Almost five! I can’t even believe it.

I can’t wait to see who they will be in 5 years? Or 10? Oh my gosh I can’t think about it… in 10 years my oldest will be legally an adult!

I think that as we continue on this journey of parenting I will still look back at those days when my children were babies and long for the precious sweet years when they were so little. I think I will still have that little pang of sadness as I see a new mom nuzzling her baby because that is not the stage of life we are in an more.  But I am going to enjoy this time as well. There are so many great things about having older kids. I am loving each new day with them.