Hellobee

Our decision to move to the Chiang Mai countryside this month was pretty impulsive. In contrast, our move to Thailand took many years of planning, waiting, debt payoff, saving, and more planning. During these years we were your typical DINKS in many ways – Double Income No Kids. Except we tried to spend only the minimum possible of that double income – we tried to avoid rewarding ourselves with little things like coffees or drinks and instead aimed for a big future payoff. A good Saturday night for us was sharing cheap wine and paying off another home or student loan. As a result, I am exceptionally nerdy about financial and life planning- more on that some other time.

Since we were both working full time, commuting, and living for the weekends, there was a lot of dialog between us about the future and a longing to slow down. We also bought a foreclosure during this time and Mr. Gumdrop was constantly knee deep in pro-level remodeling projects while I was running and sewing my fashion line on the side, so it didn’t leave room for much else. It’s not to say that we couldn’t find joy our work and friends and other activities, but we felt like we were burning out and I couldn’t see that trajectory lasting into the future. Especially not if we wanted to have a baby someday.

During this waiting phase, I dealt with a lot of fear that we’d never make it to Thailand; that we were too caught up in our jobs and attached to Minnesota through friends and family, tradition and routine to try something else. These aren’t bad things in themselves, but I felt like the really valuable parts of life were all crammed into minimal hours left in the day and we’d sometimes go months without being able to schedule time to hang out with people we really valued. Stress was rising and something needed to change but we were trying our best to save and wait for the snowball to gain momentum. I remember promising myself that I would never allow us to say that college was the best time of our lives.

Now that we’re here, it’s pretty amazing to think how much has changed in just fifteen months. Last week I remembered that old fear of mine – that college would remain the peak of my adult life – and I teared up a little realizing how far we’ve come since then. College times were great. There was joy living in a financed bubble of friends and freedom but it doesn’t compare to the insanity of the last year and a half. I think we will look back at this phase some of the hardest yet richest times, but I am no longer afraid that any time in my life will be the glory days. Each day is a gift and we are capable of choosing to use those gifts in both grand and simple ways. There will be times for both the mundane and magical, I’m sure, and I welcome both, especially after a year of nonstop action.

I was thinking about how this craziness could be broken down into different chapters with different challenges and joys in each.

The first two months were The Getaway Chapter – We road tripped to the west coast and saw friends along the way and then sold our car and caught a flight to Thailand. It was incredibly freeing and a great way to begin to unwind the structure of the previous five years. Then we spent the next month relaxing and rock climbing in the Thai islands. The combination of daily exercise, coastal food, and reading and writing was the perfect gift to ourselves to begin our new life with intention.

The Transition chapter – Settling into Chiang Mai, starting a new job, and settling into and filling a 4 storey townhouse was much more challenging that I thought it would be! We discovered that there are separate markets for English speaking real estate vs Thai. Because I could speak a little Thai left over from my semester abroad six years prior, we were able to bridge that gap and call on properties that posted on signs locally in Thai. We looked at one bedroom condos furnished with particle board everything, that were listed online in English and were renting at twice the price of this giant townhouse we found by scootering around and calling the phone number hanging off a banner on the house. The price and location were fantastic – the only challenge was that it was utterly unfurnished so we began nesting like there was no tomorrow.

The Adventure Chapter – This was the longest chapter this past year – it was amazing and exhausting. My work moved us into full swing and we started roaming and filming adventures all across Thailand. There was very little rest as we were home for two weeks and then setting off for a week in another remote part of Thailand. All our house plants died but we were having the time of our lives and seeing uncharted parts of the country. In this chapter, we also discovered we were pregnant! This only sped things up as I began to work even harder to film everything I could before I got too big to travel. When we returned from Christmas vacation – our first trip back to the US and Canada – we realized we hadn’t really stopped to breathe since we arrived. We continued the flurry of work and travel and even hosted good friends and family on several final vacations and remote work before pushing past the 28 week too-big-to-fly cutoff.

The Settling-in Chapter – My growing body finally demanded that I rest more. I started editing all the footage that we’d shot and mostly worked from home and switched positions every twenty minutes to accommodate my aching joints and giant belly. We finally found rhythms in our home and the city. We slowed down, built relationships in the neighborhood, started walking to church on Sundays, raising urban chickens, building routine, and worked to create an intentional environment for our daughter to come into.

The Newborn Chapter – Birth! We met our daughter and began getting to know her. She came out bright eyed and strong willed. Strength, recuperation and teamwork was needed every moment and days were hazy and beautiful. My parents came to help out and meet her and my mom got us through the most sleepless phase and we were so grateful to have their help and comfort on hand.

The Country Chapter – We bounced back, started sleeping a little more, and are finding new rhythms as a family of three. As our confidence as parents was rising, our friends who live in the foothills north of Chiang Mai told us the house across the valley from them was for rent and we impulsively signed a 6-month lease the next week! So here we find ourselves, one year after the first transition and nesting phase, settling in again. It’s much easier this time around since we are just moving and adjusting to life in the country instead of life in an entirely new country. It’s incredibly beautiful and after the first week where I was just unpacking and organizing things after the move, I find life to be quite relaxing in a way that I never knew in the city. The noises are more peaceful, the thunder is louder and the sky is bigger. I think this is the chapter of finding our small place with our little girl in a huge universe and being grateful to God for all this beauty. I hope we can hold this in mind anyways….

Because… we are coming up again on last year’s lengthy “Adventure Phase” – I work at a study abroad institute and the new students have arrived and there’s a buzz in the air. We are planning more trips again and I’m trying to find the impossible balance of motherhood and work. I think the baby will keep us slower than before and she already adds more joy and purpose to every moment, so I’m excited to introduce her to all the lovely people I get to meet and work with while shooting my documentaries.

Her growth and expanding curiosity is a constant reminder that life comes in chapters and that each one is both difficult and lovely in ways that won’t last forever. So all we can do is be present for it and soak up the richness in all its forms.