I’m obviously the same person I was before kids, but I’m still growing and learning too. Motherhood has changed me so much in the past two years. I feel like I’m simultaneously my best and worst self. Children are great magnifiers of our good and bad qualities. I react differently to situations than I used to, and my priorities have shifted to put my children first in almost every aspect of my life. Sometimes I marvel at the differences I notice in myself and Mr. Cookie since having kids, but mostly I’m too tired to think about it too much. This is a real list of the ways I’m reminded that I am a parent, first and foremost.

You Know You’re a Mom When…

1) You can say “no” to things. I used to try and make everyone happy. For example, when we’d go back to Chicago I would attempt to visit all of our groups of friends, but that has become nearly impossible when traveling with children. I still do what I can to be accommodating, but I’m not bending over backward anymore. I don’t have to be busy to decline an invitation. I can simply be uninterested or doing what is best for my little family.

2) You can leave the house less put together than ever before  Let’s just say I wear a lot of ponytails and Target t-shirts. I still have trouble going in public without makeup (years of bad skin will do that to you) but I can leave the house looking pretty grungy. The funniest part is that my kids look adorable when we go out and my shirt is usually stained with baby puke.

3) You think a shower or trip to the grocery store counts as alone time. Sad but true! How did shaving my legs and buying toilet paper become luxuries? Just listening to the radio instead of kids’ music in the car makes me feel like a rebel.

4) You are super excited and invested in things you only moderately cared about before. Yes, my child needs to wear a “My First Holiday” outfit for every occasion, including “Baby’s First Arbor Day.” Yes, I need adorable photos of my children in front of pumpkins, making snowmen, hunting for eggs, and watching fireworks. Yes, our children will be forced encouraged to watch football each Sunday and support mom and dad’s teams. EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT.  QUICK, POST IT TO SOCIAL MEDIA.

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5) You forget things.  This is something I used to bug my Mom about all the time. I always wondered how she could be so forgetful about my childhood or even something that happened a month ago. Now I get it. As Chip passes milestones, I try to remember how things went with Crumb and I’m often at a loss. Time to eat my words. Thank goodness for digital photos and videos!

6) You know that sleep is more important than almost everything else. It’s like I never feel fully recharged. Does this change when your kids get older? Not sure, but I hope so. It’s the question that plagues every parent — should I stay awake and watch TV, read, shop, go out with friends, or should I sleep? Nothing is as enticing as sleep sounds, including but not limited to intimacy, wine, and chocolate.

7) You inhale your food.  I have a legit problem with fast eating. I enjoy food but when I’m eating with my kids I shovel it in as fast as I can in case the baby needs to nurse or the big boy makes a mess. At home I try to eat slower but it rarely happens, and then there are the days you find yourself standing while eating your lunch because there’s not even time to sit down.

8) You mean what you say and say what you mean. I have become even more direct than I was before children. I am not good at the whole, “What do you want to do?” back and forth type conversations with friends. If no one wants to make a decision, I will offer up a plan. I support everyone doing what works for their family but I don’t have the energy to coax it out of you. Just say how you feel.

9) You can clean and organize the house in record time. Because seriously, what did I do with all that extra time I had before kids??

10) You have to eat your candy and cookies crouched in a dark corner like a fugitive hiding from the cops.  It’s not just that I don’t want to share (I really don’t), but I don’t want my kids to eat the same crap that I do! They can make their own bad decisions when they are adults.

What would you add to this list?