I’ve never been what one would call “punctual.” When it was just me, I could get my act together enough to be within that five minute window of acceptability, but it was somehow always a struggle. That ability went out the window the day we brought the twins home. Lest you think this is going to be one of those posts filled with excuses for why I can’t possibly be on time, so everyone else should just deal, don’t worry. I recognize that I am 100% the problem here. I would LOVE to be on time. I hate being late. I end up flustered, and stressed out, and snapping at my kids about stuff that’s not entirely their fault.
But, for real, I don’t know what to change to make it better. Here’s how a typical morning goes when I have an appointment scheduled:
1. I think about how long it should take me to get ready, and then I remember that I am ALWAYS late, so I double it. There. That should be plenty of time.
2. I turn the shower on.
3. Addie, despite being parked in front of a movie she begged to watch, comes upstairs to ask a vitally important question. Usually it pertains to the likelihood of her having a snack at that exact moment.
4. Snack procured, Addie goes downstairs.
5. I step in the shower, and then make the tragic mistake of wetting my hair.
6. Addie reappears to inform me that a brother smells bad.
7. She is displeased to hear I have no intention of fixing that situation this exact second, and that she must leave my bathroom.
8. I shampoo my hair, only to hear an ominous thud from somewhere in the house.
9. I grab a towel, and try to figure out if the thud came from any of the kids.
10. Obviously it was Addie pretending to be a mermaid, and she is displeased that I interrupted her. Apparently I ruined the authenticity of her under-the-sea scene.
11. I manage to rinse the shampoo out, but decide that conditioner is probably a bridge too far.
12. I start to blow dry my hair, and am interrupted by Addie running into the room crying because the hair dryer is too loud. I suggest that if she went downstairs she probably wouldn’t be able to hear it. Addie is, once again, displeased.
13. I then remember that one of the brothers apparently smells bad, so I go downstairs to investigate.
14. Apparently, “smells bad” is code for “pooped literally everywhere oh my God please send help.”
15. Addie gags and runs away.
16. I wish I could too.
17. Brother is stripped, bathed, and re-dressed. I wonder if it might be easier to just burn the house down and start over, but instead settle on stain treating the swing, and starting a load of laundry.
18. Brothers are good and awake now, and think they might like to eat. Addie decides that she is famished as well.
19. I allow Addie to eat another snack in front of the TV, while I sit next to her and nurse the boys. I decide this counts as valuable family together time, what with us all being in the same room and all.
20. The boys finish, and I realize that I have now used up 98% of my allotted getting ready time.
21. I put the boys in their car seats.
22. I direct Addie to get her shoes on. Inform her that socks aren’t shoes. Neither are ballet slippers. I suggest Crocs. Addie wants her actual sneakers that require me to tie them. I tell her no, because I have to get dressed. Addie is, for the fourth time this morning, displeased.
23. I give up on blow drying my hair, and settle on a top knot. I convince myself that it looks “stylish” and “casual,” instead of “messy.”
24. I put on half my makeup, then hear a chorus of screams from downstairs. The boys are over the car seats, Addie is railing against the injustice that is Lightening McQueen Crocs, and ScoutDog has to go out.
25. I let the dog out.
26. I run upstairs, forget to do the rest of my makeup, and put on whatever “I give up” outfit happens to be clean at that moment.
27. I go downstairs, grab the diaper bag, pray it’s actually fully stocked, and start loading kids in the car.
28. I get in the front seat, and then remember the dog is still in the yard.
29. I run back inside, let the dog in, and then go back out to the car.
30. Finally we leave.
31. Only 15 minutes late.
Guys, I know other mothers manage all this insanity, and are still on time. What is the secret? Should I just start getting ready to leave the house as soon as I walk in the door from my last appointment? Do I just lock the door, and assume nobody will burn the house down in the time it takes me to get dressed? WHAT MAKES IT BETTER??
persimmon / 1481 posts
Okay so I’m not really in your same situation because I only have one kid and I’m sure adding twins would be crazy! However I’m actually shocked you manage to shower in the morning. I never do anymore and I feel that definitely helps move things along. I just shower after I put DD down for bed and usually wear my hair up.
guest
Shower at night. That solves half of your problems.
blogger / pea / 24 posts
I’ve tried the night showering, and it helps a bit, but I don’t love how my hair looks the next day. Also, I usually work out in the am, so I view showering as a favor to everyone I’m going to encounter that day!
pomelo / 5084 posts
@turquoisemama: same! One kid four dog family here but I’ve totally given up my beloved old morning shower, hair straightening routine!!
blogger / kiwi / 588 posts
I used to shower in the morning to help wake me up, pre-kids. Once I had one kid who was an early morning riser, I no longer needed a shower to wake me up. Now I had a human alarm clock to do that so I started taking showers right after I put the kids to bed. I have naturally straight hair so sometimes I braid it or put it in a top bun while I sleep so it’s wavy and voluminous the next day.
blogger / apricot / 482 posts
I also shower right after I put the kids to bed. I’ve always been a night shower person, so it wasn’t a big shift for me, but it definitely helps make the morning go more smoothly!
pear / 1809 posts
I’m with the PPs who suggest showering at night. I prefer a morning shower, but I have a 3 year-old and a 1 year-old, so it’s impossible for me to shower and get ready without having several interruptions.
persimmon / 1095 posts
I shower with my child. He loves to shower and I don’t have to do baths either.
blogger / pea / 24 posts
@Mrs. Toad: That’s a really good idea. I never thought to pull Addie in with me.
Also, I’m going to have to revisit the whole showering at night thing. I managed to hold onto the morning shower when it was just Addie, but adding the boys in might make it too complicated. Time to buy some dry shampoo!
persimmon / 1445 posts
@Mrs. Toad: Same- I vastly prefer an AM shower and DD can typically use one after breakfast also…. Showering with DD also keeps the house clean while I get ready which is a major plus. We are probably gonna switch to night showers once the new baby gets here though since I don’t really know when I would get two kids clean in the morning if I ever want to leave the house.
pomegranate / 3595 posts
I shower before the kids are up. It is kind of ridiculous but important for my sanity. I get up at 5:45. Hair drying is always a gamble. I WOH and am usually on my own in the morning. We don’t leave the house until 7:45 with two kids. Up early but a relaxed start to the day works better for us than fast and rushed and snapping at everyone. It took a while to figure that out though.
guest
Only one kid so take this with a grain of salt, but I used to put my son in the shower with me (with toys) and then I’d fill the tub when I was done and he’d play while I got ready. Most days though it was just dry shampoo + deodorant
clementine / 990 posts
Pixie cut!
Giving up morning showers is just for a little while. There’ll be fewer appointments every month and more independence for each kid every day. It’s just for a little while.
I pack up bags the night before. Lay out clothes, etc. But my biggest obstacle has always been uncooperative little people. We’ve finally cracked that one though so now things run more smoothly.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Very funny post! Ditch the shower, hair washing, and make up. Is it possible to reason with a 4 year old. “Today we have a busy day and your help will go along way. Here’s what I need from you…”
guest
Invest in a shower cap. Wash your hair at night and then in the morning when you just want to wash your body, throw it on, quick scrub and done. I also put the younger child somewhere near me, either the bathroom in a bouncer chair or somewhere close by. If they’re relatively in my sight lines then I can be sure the older kid isn’t trying to change their diaper or carry them around. And the game changer for me when getting out the door on time with more than one kid was to always pack the night before. Absolutely everything ready to go. So it was one less thing in the morning. Good luck! Can’t imagine twins – so you’re already a super star!
guest
Reality check. You like the idealized version of the morning shower, but that’s not your reality. I’m sure you like your hair best when you have showered and blown dry and done it the way you like, but your morning shower isn’t getting that anyway. It’s getting not enough time, throw up in a top knot, and late. Try the evening shower.
Whether it’s in the morning or at night, take a 10-min shower. Literally everyone can wait for 10 mins. Don’t get out of the shower. Just finish it. They can wait for snacks, they can wait for diaper changes, and they can answer you when you holler “ARE YOU OK?” when you hear a thump.
Other ideas: 1. Love taking the toddler into the shower, though that will keep her safe and amused, I do not think it will help with things taking a long time. Everything my toddler does takes for-ever. 2. Cut your hair shorter. 3. Pack the night before. 4. Keep extras of everything in your car. Spare change of clothes for each kid, diapers, wipes, and some non-perishable snacks live in my trunk.
coffee bean / 33 posts
Mom of 2 kiddos – 1 and 3. I get up at 5:00am. I know CRAZY! but i am fully dressed and ready for the day by 6:00 I can then be prepared for the babies to wake up between 6:30/7:00. I am like you and like to feel fresh and ready along with my hair fixed. For some reason my hair being fixed makes me feel ready for the day. Make up- well, as long as i get some blush and mascara im good to go.
I find time to do dishes, a load of laundry and pick up a little around the house too if the babies aren’t up yet. The only struggle is I go to bed between 9:00 and 10:00 because im just too tired to hang.
give it time, you will find your grove.
clementine / 874 posts
Hahaha, this is great! Well, not great for you, but great to read and commiserate
My secrets? Shower on days that we don’t have to be anywhere at a specific time. Never do makeup (going for the programmer look here). Line toys up along the edge of the bath so LO can knock them in and giggle. Or, since LO doesn’t like showering with me anymore, sit him on the bathmat under the towels with a little milk to drink while he wakes up.
pomelo / 5621 posts
I’m impressed that you can even get out of the house with 3 LO’s!
I’m with you on the morning shower but I only have one kid to wrangle out the door. DS is 3.5 and now will watch a show while I shower but up until a few months ago he would play in the bathroom or my room while I showered and got ready. I always try to be quick but he knows to just let me be for 15ish minutes.
apple seed / 3 posts
The CUT! It chooses you!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh75XWRaugg
blogger / pea / 24 posts
@cql411: I’m dying. That made my Saturday.
I think y’all are right that I’m 100% making my life harder by clinging to the morning shower with all my strength. I had a good groove going when it was just Addie and me, but the twins have thrown me for a loop.
I am glad to hear that I’m not the only one who struggles though! I fell significantly less crazy now