The Little Dudes aren’t very little anymore, and we’re always running into new things to ponder as they grow and develop into their own very unidentical personalities despite their identical faces.
This holiday season is the first year, I’ve really struggled with the concept of giving gifts to twins. In the past, they were little enough they were happy with whatever they got (or just the box; let’s be real), but this year their wishes and wants are starting to diverge. Their personalities have really began shining through this year, and that translates to not only wanting some different kinds of gifts but also me worrying about how each kid will handle getting different gifts.
Elliot has a very specific Christmas list and it has been these exact items for months. He tells me his list and says, “That’s what I want for Christmas and nothing else.” He wants: a Leap Pad, a road grader, “boots because mine are getting too small,” Paw Patrol tower and race car set, and a “light switch” (which I think I have determined means a cute light switch cover with animals or something on it).
Finn meanwhile wants an excavator, a swing, a Green Lantern action figure, a “Jesus set” (upon questioning, he said, “You know like Jesus and the cross and all the Jesus stuff.” Guess how many play sets of Jesus and the cross there are? Exactly how many you would expect. Zero. Turns out no one makes play toys about horrible deaths.) and (after hearing Elliot say these things) a Leap Pad, and Paw Patrol set.
For most of their lives, they’ve gotten pretty much the same gifts/type of gift from everyone in their life. Twin A gets a dump truck, and Twin B gets a backhoe. Twin A gets a blanket with elephants on it, and Twin B gets a blanket with giraffes on it. You get the idea. The problem is they’re still young enough and so used to having basically the same things that there is still the tendency to say they want whatever the other one requests and I can definitely see them both being heartbroken when the reality of their Christmas lists comes to fruition and they see their brother open something that they like and don’t have under the tree. While this is probably an issue for all siblings of a somewhat similar age, it seems more pronounced with them because their entire lives people have been attempting to treat them basically the same.
We don’t want them to be the exact same, and we want them to know that it’s okay to have different tastes and interests and that disappointment sometimes happens I just worry about meltdown city on Christmas morning. Initially, Santa was going to bring them both Leap Pads, we were giving them identical gifts that weren’t on either kid’s lists, they were both getting boots, and a book. Then Finn started talking about getting an Excavator from Santa. That’s what he asked for when we saw Santa. That’s what he tells everyone he wants Santa to bring. I hadn’t actually planned on buying him an Excavator because they have a bunch of trucks already. So, do we stick with giving them the same things? Do we mix it up and give them what they actually want even though it is inevitable that when Finn sees Elliot open his Leap Pad, he’ll start crying because he suddenly really wants that, too?
I’m honestly still not sure what we’ll do, but the closer we get to Christmas and the more Finn talks about his excavator, I think it’s maybe time to start diversifying what they have and letting them start learning that they can ask for different things, we will honor their different personalities, and they will need to learn to deal with the fact that their brother has toys that are different and do not belong to them.
Do you struggle with the temptation to give your kids similar things? How do you handle it?
grapefruit / 4361 posts
I have no solutions but LOLed about the Jesus set!!! Maybe the Little People Nativity set could work a little? haha
grapefruit / 4649 posts
Oh, how tricky! I’d be tempted to buy them both the leap pad and tell Finn Santa couldn’t do both so he asked you to get the excavator for him.
pomegranate / 3601 posts
Tricky, I have no idea about the cost of an excavator but could you get two leappads but only one paw patrol set and one excavator?
pomelo / 5084 posts
@DesertDreams88: I thought the same thing!
pomelo / 5084 posts
This is so tricky and interesting! I never thought about such struggles. Good luck mama!
blogger / apricot / 439 posts
@DesertDreams88: @wrkbrk: Same! Hilarious!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@wrkbrk: @DesertDreams88: @Mrs. Starfish: Good try, ladies, but I asked about that (we already have a kid nativity that they call “playing with Silent Night”) and he said, “No, Mama, I told you like Jesus and the cross and the other Jesus stuff!” Okay, kid, thanks for making this easy. Then I realized almost all the religious play sets are Old Testament stuff-Noah, Daniel & the Lion’s Den, David & Goliath–Jesus isn’t gonna be in any of those! ‘My mom did finally find a couple that were like “Jesus feeds the 5,000” or something kind of random, but we decided that was better than nothing and he could make a cross from legos or something!
grapefruit / 4584 posts
What about giving one of each item (minus the boots & leap pads) as “family gifts”? I have two girls 22 months apart, so not twins, but as far as their interests go at this stage, they might as well be….I get two same but different things a lot of the time (my little pony figures), but for big items (magnatiles set), we get one at it’s for both of them to use together or take turns with.
persimmon / 1420 posts
Mine are thankfully asking for the same thing this year (bikes and ribbon wands), but really that’s because DS copies DD in everything she does. They are both getting books, but different ones. I’d say they get the thing they ask Santa for, but strive for equality with other stuff (Leap Pads).
pomelo / 5621 posts
That is tricky. I like @Pumuckl’s idea.
Are they good at sharing? If they got something different from each other maybe they would be willing to share?
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@PinkElephant: Mine aren’t twins, but we kind of do this. Xander is older, but if I’m giving him something that I know Logan will also like, I tend to just give it to both of them and insist they share!
nectarine / 2085 posts
@Mrs. Blue: Playmobil’s Nativity might be taken apart and presented as an adult Jesus “set.” You could take out the “Joseph” (call him Jesus for play purposes) and the donkey and call the shepherd one of the Apostles? Mary works as she is, too, but she could be any number of NT women…
guest
While not a “play set,” have you seen this – http://www.orientaltrading.com/rugged-cross-scene-a2-37_1418.fltr
guest
My girls are just a bit younger than your dudes and I’m struggling with it this year as well! They are (luckily) very much into the same things this year but coming up on the next celebrations of birthdays and Christmas to come, it will be come harder especially to express to loved ones that perhaps they’d like different things as they are very different little people!
guest
I think giving them different gifts is a good idea for many reasons. Maybe if you looked at it as they are both actually getting more toys by you giving different gifts (because they will undoubtedly both play with both toys), you will have less parent guilt. If you always give them the same thing, you will have two of every toy instead of having twice as many different toys.