Hellobee

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I’ve changed since I’ve had kids. The changes aren’t huge and I suspect that from the outside people think I am largely the same, but I have noticed a few things that are really different for me now.

I was always an empathetic person; I care a lot for other people and I have noticed that in the recent years, I have become even more empathetic. One of the places that I think I struggled with before was having empathy for people who I do not actually like or agree with. The younger me was totally fine with maintaining a grudge for a long period of time, and now I feel like that is such a waste of time. Part of this I can attribute to thinking about how most people deserve empathy in situations that I can picture myself in. This has become especially evident since having children. I find myself trying to understand why people do things, and also understanding more why people make the choice they do. This is mostly because I have started seeing people as someone else’s child and would I want people to judge my child the way I was judging. I should disclose that there are situations and people that I cannot empathize with at all, but that is a different story.

My patience, which before was seriously non-existent, has become longer. I have an easier time waiting for stuff to happen, and I am better at trying to deal with being frustrated by the kids. I’ve noticed two things that really affect this. One is that time moves so stinking quickly since having kids, that waiting no longer seems like an issue. Even something that is months away comes up so quickly that I don’t even really have time anymore to yearn for things to happen. It’s amazing how fast the last three years of my life have gone. I can only imagine this will go even faster as the kids get bigger. The second part, in relation to the kids, is that I find myself feeling the tension and my patience starting to wear thin, and because I am actually aware of it, I can find ways to combat that and get myself under control a little better. I am not great at this yet, but I am trying, and I think a lot about how my actions or reactions can affect the kids.

I feel like I am more aware of myself in a general sense. I understand more about myself, and for literally the first time in my life, I feel unencumbered by the notion of trying to figure out who I am. This is just not really something I think about anymore and I really believe that it is because I am so comfortable being a mom and so happy being a mom, that the wondering about who I am has seriously waned for now. I am anticipating more times in my life in the future when my roles shift yet again and I have to figure out what that means for me, but for now, in this place and time, I am so happy just being me. I wonder if this is due to my age, or my stage in life. Or if it really is that my kids fulfill my life in such a way that I am able to just live and be happy. It’s a strange realization to just feel comfortable in my life.

I try to find ways to talk to other moms to see if these kind of subtle but also enormous changes have occurred with them as well. I can’t believe that this is only me, and so I pose the question, have any of the mommies out there experienced these kinds of changes? Do you feel more comfortable since becoming a mom?