Hellobee

Just as I was surprised about postpartum recovery, I was surprised about what life is like when you have kids. Particularly, little kids that cannot feed, dress or go to the bathroom on their own. When I bring these parts up to my mommy friends, they say “of course that’s our life now!” But why didn’t anyone warn me? I guess it’s because you’re just constantly in survival mode, and whatever else gets tossed your way is just a part of your chaotic life. I thought it would be interesting to think of some things I realized about this crazy world of parenthood in the early years.

• Food and eating and anything related to that… sucks

It’s one thing to feed yourself whenever you feel hungry, but to plan meals and go shopping and cook for your family has just about become the most dreaded part of the day. And it’s terrible because there are THREE meals a day! The hours between breakfast and lunch could not seem any closer. (Lunch already?!) The hubs and I already had pretty poor eating habits because I’m super picky and he doesn’t eat on a consistent timeline. So I had to try really hard to make Baby Pencil’s meals consistent and healthy. I was also so into preparing the baby’s food that I would completely forget about my own. That was one thing I had to remember to do: feed self!

• Everyone gets sick, a lot

We had an especially rough winter, and all 4 adults and 3 kids (my sister’s family and mine live together) got very sick over the holidays. It started with one and kept transferring over to the next person. Several times, someone got sick right after getting better. We ended up investing in face masks and separating the kids for days at a time. My poor nephew, who was only a few weeks old, caught a respiratory virus and had to stay at the hospital for 5 days! Needless to say, we didn’t have a merry Christmas this year! When I talk to parents of 3+ children, they don’t seem to freak out as much when one kid gets sick. They still go to the movies and out for dinner. Basically, if you wait for 100% of your family to be healthy, you will never go out at all. It’s just a part of life that someone is sick, so you just gotta do what you gotta do!

Our holiday card this year… when everyone got sick for an entire month!

• Related to above, be prepared to go to Urgent Care/ER often and monitor fevers all night long

It’s nice to know where your local urgent care centers are, and also look up the ones that are well rated and have good pediatric care. Some of my friends prefer going to a specialized children’s hospital so that they’re better equipped to take blood samples on small kids. When small kids have trouble breathing or have high fevers, it really makes you freak out! You have to monitor them like crazy and make sure their little bodies are not getting worse. It’s so scary when your LO has a temperature over 103 for days, even with Tylenol or Advil. There were points when adults would be awake all throughout the night, taking turns monitoring the kids’ fevers.

• It’s boring sometimes

Kids really do not need much to be entertained. Give them a box, some playdough, a new water bottle or anything and they will have fun…. as long as YOU are there playing with them, of course! That’s the hard part. How many hours can you play with a water bottle? Or play peek a boo? Or catch each little piece of playdough that falls in the carpet? It’s tiring just watching them. I love that it’s becoming more okay for kids to be bored and that it is even good for them. I’ve learned to let go and not feel bad when Baby Pencil comes to me and I have nothing for him to do.

• There’s a thin line between wanting to protect your kid all the time and letting them go so you can have a break

I was one of those paranoid moms who spent hours daydreaming about the horrible phone call from his school saying that some kid had pushed him and he had broken some bones. It pained me to see bruises or scuffs on his body when he came back from school, but over time I grew to accept that this was normal and OK. I wanted him safe, but how was he ever going to learn to protect himself and make good decisions? When Baby Pencil was about 18 months old, he got up too quickly from a play gym and bonked his head pretty hard. Ever since then, he is ever so careful to stand up too quickly in a play gym. He has to get hurt to learn these things, even if I’m not around to witness it.

• The weird tug of war of missing your kid when they’re not there and countdown until their bedtime

Parenthood is such a paradox. I miss Baby Pencil so much that sometimes I sneak into his room to watch him sleep. Yet, there’s a sigh of relief when he’s out for school or when he goes to bed. You can love someone so much but your physical body and mind just cannot handle it sometimes.

• Toddlers are selfish, messy and amazing

One friend had told me the 2-3’s stage was her favorite. What! I assumed this was the terrible two and threenager stage everyone hated. But honestly, I can see what she means! They are so funny, wild, silly and ridiculous. They love you more freely and physically than they ever will their whole life. It’s so clear and transparent, it’s refreshing! I break up the fights because they’re of course fighting over a toy, but honestly it’s no different than adult problems, fighting over who’s opinion is more correct. The older I get, the more I realize that adults really are just kids who have lived longer.

• A messy house isn’t the worst thing in the world

I was that first-time mom who sanitized all of the toys every single day, even though Baby Pencil was the only one who played with them. I was so overly cautious about germs and dirty things… until I burned out. You can’t do that forever! And when I used to judge people’s homes who look like a toy store vomited all over the place, I now completely understand. Those tiny Legos on the ground kept my kid entertained for 3-4 minutes each and it was worth it. It’s fine. It’s a phase and when I’m an old grandma I will be super clean!

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It is a wonderfully, chaotic and specific time in our lives and I wouldn’t trade this insane world for anything!