As my body starts to feel more like mine again, post-cesarean birth, I’ve been thinking about Cesareans and their role in my life.

I recently stumbled across this article, which is several years old but felt very fresh to me. The idea behind it is that we often say c-section, Cesarean section, or just ‘section’…

Now try these words…

Cesarean birth
She gave birth by Cesarean.

Did you notice a difference? If so, what was it? Did you notice a difference when the word “birth” was included in the picture? Did it feel like there was a human being — a mother — included in it? If so, how might a mom who is going to be giving birth by Cesarean feel differently about herself if you talked about her upcoming birth as just that, a “birth” rather than a “section?” Does one way speak to something she is actively involved in as opposed to something that will be done to her?

It was a lightbulb moment for me! With M, I laboured for a long time before her unplanned Cesarean birth, and so I still felt a lot like I had played a very active role in bringing her into the world. The surgery was the end of several long, hard days, and it was a conclusion to something that definitely involved me. With A, I felt strange for the longest time, because I walked myself into an operating room and was wheeled out twenty minutes with a baby on my chest. The most physical thing I did was move myself over to the bed immediately after they set up the spinal anaesthesia, and I didn’t feel a single contraction, labour pain, or anything remotely birth-like. It felt like I didn’t really give birth.

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Arguably, a vaginal birth might have made for better hair…

A few weeks prior to having A, I was scheduled into the local hospital clinic. The doctor who performed my Cesarean with M came into the room and was trying to figure out where he knew me from (I hadn’t see him since M was three months old, and he handles a LOT of babies). I said, “You delivered my daughter three years ago!” and his reply stuck with me:

“I didn’t deliver her, you delivered her — I just took her out.”

I had to wrap my head around it because it was a total flip from everything I’d ever heard about birth. Doctors deliver babies, right? But in truth, I did deliver her. I grew her, I carried her, I protected her, and when it was time for her to arrive, she was delivered to the world through my body, surgery or not. And then when I had A, I thought about it, and eventually decided the same was true. No, I did not experience labour that time around, but I did experience birth. And I did deliver him. I have the scar to prove it!

I think a lot of people don’t really consider the impact of language when we are talking about birthing babies. I know I hadn’t until these concepts were introduced to me. It makes me think of the term ‘natural birth’ which still rankles me even though I chose a Cesarean this time: I feel like all birth is natural in some capacity, whether it’s surgical or vaginal, and I wish people would just say vaginal instead of natural because that’s what they really mean, usually.

I’m challenging myself to say Cesarean birth instead of section, for my own benefit and for that of other moms who have felt like me. It may seem like a small word change, but the impact could be huge.