Hellobee

One of the twinblings is turning one this week! I am filled with so much emotion, and it is a bittersweet week to say the least. Naturally, with so much emotion swirling inside me, I have become reflective on a year gone by.

For the Starfish family, I characterize the first year as a tale of two halves. The first half was so hard and felt so long, but the second half was so much fun and seemed to fly by in an instant! Thinking about it, I think there were some major turning points for us in getting into a nice flow and routine with the girls, and easing in to parenthood.

First Turning Point: Return to work and routine

The first turning point for me was my return to work. I went back when Lilly was three months old and Audrey was two months old. Before I did, I felt very ambivalent about returning to work. If I’m being honest, I was not really enjoying my time at home with two screaming babies, but I felt like I should be enjoying the time at home and that I would regret it if I went back too early. In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t been so vulnerable to this mommy guilt and instead had returned to work a bit earlier than I did.

The biggest thing for me about the return to work was getting into a routine. The first few months I would sometimes be so busy caring for the girls during the day that I couldn’t find time to brush my teeth or put real clothing on. Some moms talk about not finding time to shower and I’ll admit that there were weeks when I literally could not remember the last time I showered. Not my proudest or most glamorous days there! But returning to work meant that I had to find a routine, and I think this helped the whole family.

Lilly and Audrey around 3 months and 2 months when I went back to work.

Around this time I also decided to stop pumping. With two mouths to feed, I was exclusively pumping and that pump felt like a third child to me. When I let go of that pump and got it out of my sight, it was huge for me! I got my body back for me, I slept better, and I just felt more like myself.

Second Turning Point: Sleeping through the night

The second major turning point in my mind was when both babies slept through the night. Audrey slept through the night pretty early, but it took Lilly until her 7 month birthday to go the same 12 hours that her sister was doing.

I actually remember coworkers commenting to me that I “looked alive” again around this time, and I also did not have to gulp down four cups of coffee each day to make it through. I started to enjoy milder forms of caffeine again and it was lovely! This change also made single-parent nights when Mr. Starfish was traveling so much more tolerable as I didn’t have the pressure of handling midnight feedings on my own without him.

Both girls – and their parents – were happier when well-rested and sleeping through the night!

Taken together, once we got through those two big bumps, I really feel like we hit our stride and started to enjoy parenting. Life with two babies six to nine months was fun, but the fun really amped up at the third turning point…

Third Turning Point: Crawling

My kiddos were both somewhat late to the crawling game, around 10 months. Both of their personalities seemed to shift when they found this independence and although I think I always saw glimpses of their personalities when they were babies, it felt like they really started coming out of their shells once they started crawling.

Our oldest, Lilly, is so curious. Once she started crawling, she would peer around corners and use her independence to pull everything she could out of containers to learn what was in them. My fondest memories of Lilly at this age are of seeing her little face peek out around a piece of furniture as she tried to find my voice. She has a sweet smile and it always seems to light up when she peeks around those corners.

Curious Lilly

Our youngest, Audrey, is so fearless and silly. Once she started crawling, she would crawl right over me and lay her head back on my lap, look at me and giggle, and then continue on her way. Audrey has the most amazing little giggle and an associated nose scrunch, and she is constantly cracking herself up about the new things she is discovering in her world.

Audrey giggling away.

Apart from crawling, it is harder for me to identify more major turning points in the latter half of the year because it really just flew by and it’s a bit of a blur. I remember solids, slowly weaning from bottles, braving public restaurants and shops, and the days they started to interact with me when I read books and sang songs. All of those were important moments to me but not what I would call turning points.

Thinking about the past six months just makes my heart feel so warm. I really had such a blast and have loved being Lilly and Audrey’s mom. I really lucked out in the kid lottery, and I can’t wait to continue getting to know these special little girls. Happy first birthday to my little peanut!

Happy first birthday, sweet Lilly!