Hellobee

I am recently back from a crazy couple of months of traveling, particularly the last three weeks. I’ve been on trips to Albuquerque, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Chicago, Kuala Lumpur, and New York over the last few months, with trips in three straight weeks. I’ve been fortunate enough to have almost all of my travel domestic, in sharp contrast to my previous job, but it can still be tough to manage with two toddlers at home. Many of my colleagues have family in town who they can rely on to pitch in, but our family all live across the country so for the most part, Mr. Dolphin is on his own when I’m gone. For all those fellow parents with work travel, here are the ways the Dolphins manage my travel schedule.

Love looking at these pictures when I’m gone.

Supportive partner: Without a doubt, the only way we are able to manage is because Mr. Dolphin is fully supportive of my travel. He is willing to put his foot down at his own job and say that he has a hard stop at a certain hour to ensure that he has ample time to get home to pick up the kids, even factoring in the potential for the infamous DC metro delays. Whenever I mention a potential trip, Mr. Dolphin’s response is always to go for it, even when it means I may be gone for an entire week or on the weekend.

Flexibility when I am in town: On my most recent trip, Panda spiked a fever at the end of the day at daycare and wasn’t permitted to go in the next day. As a result, Mr. Dolphin had to take the day off work and stay home with Panda because his job doesn’t allow for teleworking. To make up for the fact that Mr. Dolphin may have no alternative but to stay home or leave work early in these situations, I tend to be the one to take over doctors appointments and sick days when I am in town. Of course, the fact that I can telecommute when necessary is a huge benefit here.

Giving Mr. Dolphin a break and reconnecting with the kids: When I’ve been gone for awhile, I like to make sure that Mr. Dolphin has a chance to catch his breath and have some alone time, whether that’s so he can go swimming or stay home and play video games. Giving him some time where he can do whatever he wants and take a break from parenting responsibility lets him feel refreshed. I also recognize that as exhausting as work trips can be, they are far easier than being home with the kids because I can order room service, sleep all the way through the night without a child crying, and can get ready in the morning at a leisurely pace so I feel that it’s only fair to let Mr. Dolphin enjoy child-free time. At the same time, it’s nice for me to be able to reconnect with our kids. Both of our kids have parental preference that tilt toward whomever they’ve spent the most time with recently, so setting aside time for me to play with them when I return helps to even things out.

Trip to the park the day before I left for another work trip.

Prepping food in advance: I do all of the cooking in the house, so I always try to make sure there are plenty of meals prepped ahead of time so that Mr. Dolphin can just reheat them when he arrives home after picking the kids up from daycare. I try to make one meal in the slow cooker on the day I leave (if I go during the day; if I leave the night before, I’ll prep in in the morning then turn the slow cooker to keep warm for 24+ hours) so that it’s actually ready and hot when Mr. Dolphin and the kids return home. Whatever I prep in the slow cooker usually has enough leftovers for at least one dinner for everyone, plus lunches for the week for Mr. Dolphin. I will prep a casserole or lasagna and leave it in the fridge with reheating instructions, which generally also can serve as two dinners. If I have time, I’lll make egg muffins and package them up with cheese and english muffins for an easy grab-and-go breakfast. Additionally, I will stock the fridge foods that are easy to grab, like yogurt, baby carrots, hummus, and blueberries. Now that the kids’ new daycare serves lunches and snacks, that’s one less thing to worry about. But at their old daycare, I’d try to package up their lunches ahead of time to the extent I could, and would leave Mr. Dolphin instructions on what else they might need so he could just look at the list in the morning and not have to think too much about it (because weekday mornings are chaos in our home).

Taking as short a trip as possible: I will often move heaven and earth to make my trip as short as possible, factoring in whether it makes sense given the times we drop the kids off at school and when they have bedtime. I have taken several trips where my flight leaves at 8:30pm because I know that I can get a taxi to the airport immediately after the kids go to bed and still make it on time. It sometimes means that I won’t get to my hotel until after midnight, but I know Mr. Dolphin appreciates the extra set of hands for bath and bedtime before I leave. I won’t bother with a red eye flight back if I’m not going to get into the airport until 6:30am because there’s no way I could get home before they get dropped off at daycare and thus wouldn’t be very useful. However, if I can look at the agenda and feel that I can skip the last session of a conference so that I can be back in time for bath time and bed time, I’ll do it. This usually means I don’t have time to explore the city that I’ve traveled to, but it’s actually a sacrifice I’ve been willing to make even pre-kids (though that was mostly because I missed being at home).

FaceTime, photos and videos: FaceTime is the most wonderful invention! I love chatting with the kids when I’m gone, to the extent that I can. Watching Panda try to kiss the phone or having Lion take me on a tour of wherever he’s running at the moment is awesome and the kids are always excited. If we time it right when Mr. Dolphin gets home with the kids from daycare, it also helps Mr. Dolphin have ten minutes to heat up dinner, change out of his work clothes and get situated. When I know that I won’t be able to talk to the kids, I’ll sometimes record a video ahead of time and send it to Mr. Dolphin via text message. I will tell Lion special stories with him as one of the characters which he loves and apparently always asks to watch when I’m gone.

Play dates on weekends: When I went to Malaysia and realized I’d have to be gone over the weekend, one of our friends offered to have the kids over for a play date (their two boys are around the same age as ours). This helped tremendously and was something Mr. Dolphin looked forward to all week, not only for additional adult interaction but also because he felt a little less outnumbered. Lion and our friends’ oldest child play really well together and I highly recommend trying to get some play dates scheduled when possible.

Emergency basket: Another term for this category would be bribes. I will leave a wrapped book for the kids if Mr. Dolphin feels like he needs a little extra help. I will put special treats in a paper bag, like a bag of goldfish or graham crackers. These are treats that the kids rarely get, so they’ll be on pretty good behavior for them. I might also make some special breakfasts in advance, like waffles and stick them in the fridge or pick up some Larabars, to make mornings go a bit more smoothly (trying to get Lion to decide what he wants to eat in the mornings for breakfast can be a bit tough if he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed).

Gifts: I don’t always bring the kids back gifts, particularly if I’ve only been gone for 36 hours, but when I’m on a longer trip it can be a nice surprise for them. I don’t love having a lot of junk in my home, but I find that at a lot of conferences I can pick up some type of free swag that the kids will enjoy for a short period of time and then we can disappear it (donate it, recycle it, whatever). I was fortunate enough to go to a conference where I was able to pick up free children’s books, which were the biggest hit. When I came back from Malaysia, the airline I flew on was distributing goodies to the children on board. I politely asked the flight attendant whether, after going through the entire cabin and distributing the items, if he had any extra if I could have one for my children because I hadn’t had time to purchase gifts when I was away. Ten minutes later, he returned with two etch-a-sketches and two blankets which were actually huge hits and Lion sleeps with his “tiger blanket” every night now (despite the fact that it’s over 90 degrees here). More importantly, I do try to pick up something for Mr. Dolphin, who always appreciates being thought of. Rather than have a bunch of random trinkets in our home, I try for consumables (such as the amazing dates I got from the Dubai airport on a layover).

Oh, and if you’re traveling and still have a little one who is breastfeeding, I previously wrote about tips for pumping while traveling.

What are some of your tips for making work travel work?