Fitz born

A few hours after Fitz’s birth, I was in that new mom happy haze, just sitting in the hospital bed with my husband next to me and my new baby in my arms. I hadn’t slept in hours (or days), I was recovering from labor and delivery, I had euphoria from seeing my first baby, and a whole new slew of hormones. The pediatrician (not our regular doctor, but someone on-call) walked in to do his newborn check-up. Within minutes she told us that our son appeared to have an undescended testicle. She checked him some more and told us she didn’t even think he had one at all on one side.

This news came so abruptly and was in bad form. Now, I don’t remember her exact words but she also said something to us about how he wouldn’t be able to play many sports but that tennis was a great option for him. Then she just walked out of the room!

I sobbed hysterically. All I heard from her was, “Something is wrong with your baby.” I held him close and I knew he was perfect, but she left me with this horrible feeling that something was wrong with him and it would impact his life greatly. I thought of him potentially being made fun of, future fertility issues, and then the sports issue.

It’s rather silly to me now how much I worried about what sports he would play, but new mother hormones are so real and intense! I have two older brothers, a dad, and a lot of nephews who play basketball, baseball, and football. While Mr. Cupcake himself mostly plays golf, I really wanted Fitz to play some of the sports that my family enjoys.

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After a few days, I calmed down when we visited our kind pediatrician who told us more. Having one testicle does not usually affect fertility and my son is not resigned to only tennis for the rest of life! She did want to schedule a surgery for him because a greater danger than only having one testicle, is having one that remains undescended (an undescended testicle or portions of one can cause of cancer or other health issues). We immediately connected with a urologist and scheduled his surgery date.

I still struggled with the feeling that something was “wrong” with my baby. While I was thankful that this was a relatively minor issue, it was difficult for me to handle my anxiety of what this could mean for him, and how others might perceive it. Isn’t that silly? I determined that some of my fears were related to what others might think of him, now and in his future. After I was cognizant of those feelings, I was able to talk myself through how I didn’t care what others thought of my baby! He is beautiful. Nothing is wrong with him. He is exactly how God made him to be. He really is “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

May you be at peace with whatever health challenges you and your family face.