Chronic illness doesn’t take a vacation day. I write about it a lot because it’s extremely consuming for me. There are so many challenges that chronic illness creates in my life: physical, emotional, financial. It’s honestly hard to focus on anything else sometimes, especially while working full time and raising our wonderful 5 year old, Snowy. But while I fully acknowledge the realities of the Christmas season, these blue parts that I need to take the time to recognize and mourn, I also still really enjoy Christmas. I especially enjoy sharing the magic of this time of year with Snowy.
It has taken a few years, but I am learning how to adapt the way I celebrate Christmas–and all holidays, year-round–to my chronically ill reality. These are seven lessons that I embrace to help me fully enjoy Christmas and other celebratory times as a chronically ill person.
1) Go slow.
The Christmas season is well-known for its frantic pace. But frantic and chronic illness do not go well together. I start my holiday season early, decorating as early as the first weekend in November, not just because I like having everything around and the decorations make me happy, but because stretching out the season gives me more time to fit everything in. We tend to do one big thing a weekend and take it easy the rest of it. It took me two weekends to decorate the basement. One weekend we decorated a gingerbread house, another we went to the zoo lights.
2) Rest well.
In order to do what I want this holiday season without sending any of my conditions into a horrible, hospitalizable flare, I must rest well. I take frequent breaks. I lay down a lot. I take long baths. Snowy has learned how much rest her mama needs, and is good about accommodating it. I do a lot of parenting from the bed or laying down on the couch.
3) Pick your priorities.
Even when stretching out the season, I’m never going to be able to do everything. Both time and my body won’t allow it. So I pick a few traditions each year that are “must do’s,” and the rest are optional: nice if I can fit them in, but not essential. My must do’s include decorating a gingerbread house, going to the zoo lights, and visiting our families.
4) Learn your limits.
I have many limits, and am learning new ones everyday. Your body’s limits don’t take a holiday. I learned this season I have a serious stomach condition and certain goods seriously aggravate it. One of these foods, unfortunately, is one of my favorites: cheese. I am not going to be able to eat cheese, even a little bit of cheese, without getting violently ill. I need to stick to this limit or I won’t have any fun.
My body has other limits as well. Because of my painful joints, I cannot spend extended time out at some place like the zoo with lots of walking, unless I have my wheelchair. So we plan accordingly and take my chair.
5) Allow for flare-ups.
I can go as slow as I possibly can. I can follow my limits to the highest letter. And I might still end up with one or more of my conditions in a bad flare-up. I used to let my flares make me so upset. I felt like a horrible person for having pain or symptoms that kept me in bed all day, and for “ruining” plans. Now, I know flares are part of life, and I don’t like them, but I accept them, and am thankful for the support system, especially my husband and mother in law, who help me when I’m in these flares.
6) Be ok to cancel.
Last year, I wasn’t able to go to my husband’s family’s Christmas. We had been traveling a ton, I was in a major flare, and I had to work the next day. So I had to cancel and my husband and Snowy went without me. I am thankful to have people in my life who understand when I can’t attend things. Rest and recovery are so important.
7) Appreciate the little things.
Mornings looking out at the ice forming on the creek outside our house. Watching the cats play under the Christmas tree. Watching Rudolph with Snowy. There are lots of little things about this season I adore, and I try my best to soak them all in. When I focus on these, and my priorities, it helps me not get overwhelmed by the season or my illnesses, and instead truly enjoy it.
If you are chronically ill, what tips would you give to others regarding enjoying the holidays?
nectarine / 2180 posts
I have found that bringing my own pillows and even bedding can really help reduce issues when traveling, and to ask those I can to reduce using heavily scented things in their home. This typically only works with family, but it’s a big help
pomelo / 5084 posts
Beautiful post! We could all use these lessons – chronically ill or not. Perfectly timed reminder.
apricot / 430 posts
Thank you for this post! I feel like I could apply so many of these myself and keep them in mind for family members with chronic illness and anxiety.
pomelo / 5621 posts
Thank you for sharing. Chronic illness or not we could all slow down and step back this time of year. I think it is better to have a few things you do and take time to enjoy each other instead of jam packing every minute with activities leaving everyone tired and stressed.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I think your tips can work for people even without chronic illness so we don’t drive ourselves crazy! It sounds like most of your extended family is understanding about your conditions, which is really great! But I am sure it’s such a bummer when you have to miss out on stuff last minute.
I’m super interested to read about how you juggle working full time too.
blogger / cherry / 138 posts
@snowjewelz: I’m working on a post on that right now! It is very tricky. I am very very fortunate to have an understanding workplace and supportive bosses all the way up, that’s the biggest help. As is the fact that I’m technically full time with full time benefits (huge for someone with CI who needs health benefits!!), but am hourly and expected to only work 30 hours per week. So calling myself “full time” might be a little misleading.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@Mrs. Snowflake: That’s really amazing! We need more companies that understand people’s needs! Like if parental leave and maternity benefits is such a hot topic, then so should benefits for the disabled and chronically ill get better too.