Hellobee

Just over six years, Mr. Snowflake and I, fresh out of college, (literally: we had commencement just two weeks earlier!) got married after being friends for a year and dating for almost three years. We knew we wanted to spend forever together, but we were also very young and had no idea what the future held for us, just that we wanted to be together in it. And that has held true: the future has held things we couldn’t even imagine, but through it all, Mr. Snowflake has stayed steady.

The last six years have held so much for us: so much we never expected. We wrote our own vows, so “in sickness and in health” wasn’t said in those exact terms, but our relationship has been much more “in sickness” than in health. I think back to 2013, and one of the first things I remember is how comparatively healthy I was then to now.

I haven’t ever truly been healthy, of course. At the beginning of my junior year of college, after Mr. Snowflake and I had been dating for a year, I was hospitalized for a week with severe stomach pain and vomiting. It wouldn’t be until over seven years later when I was finally diagnosed with cyclical vomiting syndrome, along with a whole host of other diagnoses I keep collecting.

Mr. Snowflake has become both my partner and my caregiver, and he excels at both. No one apart from me knows my health: my diagnoses, my doctors, my medications, and everything that goes along with having multiple chronic illnesses, better. Sometimes he even keeps them straight better than me! He pushes my wheelchair at the zoo; he helps advocate for me for medical treatment when I’m too worn out from the illness fatigue. He makes many phone calls on my behalf, advocating for me between doctors and insurances and the pharmacy.

Along with being a great caregiver, Mr. Snowflake is a great co-parent. We have been parents nearly our entire marriage, which was never in our plans but we have rolled with it.

We’ve had a lot of different childcare and parenting/working arrangements during those six years. For the first three years of our marriage, we were both in grad school, then I worked full-time. He’s been home with Snowy while I worked; we’ve both worked; he’s been on nights when I worked days; and now I’m staying home while he works. Our marriage has ebbed and flowed through these changes, and we’ve always made it work, as a team.

We’ve lived in three different cities and four different houses/apartments during those six years. Much of our life is still in boxes! Marriage, like moving, like living with chronic illness, is not easy. It has to endure lots of changes and ups and downs, alongside a person who is often very different than you.

But Mr. Snowflake is still my favorite person and best friend. He is my rock, and has remained so steady through all the stresses life (and especially my illnesses!) have thrown at us. I love being on the same team with him, and he makes the everyday feel like an adventure. I couldn’t feel luckier.

We were able to celebrate our anniversary by going out to eat at a nice restaurant, then seeing Star Wars: A New Hope in Concert with the Toledo Symphony Orchestra. It was an amazing experience, though I must admit we snuck out just before the end: the concert didn’t start til 8, and we were exhausted (typical parents!).

I can’t wait to see what the next six years, and beyond, bring.