Little Bug is an anomaly to me. Every time I think I have him figured out, he does something completely insane and I have no idea what to do with him. This has been the case with our potty training with him. About 6 months ago, I declared him potty trained. He was making it to the potty almost every single time and the times he had any accidents were due to him not being able to get his pants off in time. But in the last six weeks, he has completely regressed and I am at my wit’s end.
It started with a week where he had an accident every day. I asked him several times why this was happening, and he said he waited too long. I wrote this off as a fluke and just started checking with him periodically to make sure he was using the bathroom. The next few weeks he had multiple accidents per week, sometimes several accidents per day. Again, I tried talking to him to see if he needed something from me to help him, or if he was not able to feel when he had to go. But he claimed he knew and just wasn’t making it there in time.
Three weeks ago he started peeing through his diapers at night (he still wears a diaper at night). He also had several accidents while taking naps. He was getting to the point of at least one accident per day. It started to become apparent that he knew when he needed to go, but didn’t want to take time out to go to the bathroom. We explained repeatedly that he needed to stop what he was doing to go to the bathroom, and he definitely understood what we were saying.
He started having accidents with my mom, with the babysitters, and with us daily or multiple times per day. Yesterday, he peed his pants four times in one day. Each time I asked him why and tried to understand what he was doing and he just didn’t care. We have started associating consequences with peeing in his pants, specifically taking away his Kindle. He hates having it taken away, but even that does not seem to make an impact on him. It really does seem like he just does not care if he pees in his pants. I don’t think that these are accidents at all (with the exceptions of the times during sleep) and that he is just being either lazy or stubborn. I even took him to the doctor just over a week ago to see if maybe he had a UTI, but everything was fine.
I’m getting increasingly frustrated. He actually peed his pants at school today, which he hasn’t done in over a year. I don’t know what to do anymore and I am tired of doing multiple loads of laundry each day to combat the urine soaked clothes. I am out of ideas and I am hoping that someone from here can help me figure out some ways to help him get back on track. I have no expectations to train him overnight right now, but getting him back to zero accidents per day would be amazing.
Did you experience potty training regression? How did you overcome this and what strategies did you use to help your little get back on track?
guest
How old is he?
guest
I’m so sorry. It’s really frustrating. If you can’t find any other reason for this happening, I suggest you have him checked for constipation. My son had a similar issue (potty trained, then all of sudden pee and accidents constantly). His doctor did an X-ray and turns out he was so backed up with poop that his bladder was being compressed and he couldn’t feel the urge to go until it was too late. There are a few urologists who have written extensively about this issue – Dr. Steven Hodges had an article from a few years back that (on slate.com, I believe). Best of luck, and try to remember that whatever is happening, it’s likely physiological (eg, nightime wetting) and not his fault.
guest
Has your little one been pretty regular with bowel movements? Sometimes functional constipation (where kids are having bowel movements but not fully emptying bowels) can affect how/when they urinate. Our pediatrician recommended Miralax when our child was nighttime wetting and it did the trick. Good luck!!
kiwi / 518 posts
Did you rule out a UTI?
guest
Our little guy had a similar issue, and we finally figured out the culprit was constipation. It was not severe, as he was still going a bit, but he was having trouble fulling emptying his bowels and it was pushing on his bladder, making him need to go more often and not giving him the same full bladder sensation he was used to, so he didn’t know when to go – hence the accidents. He eats a pretty balanced diet, but we started adding in a squeeze pouch that contains prunes or mixing baby food prunes in his yogurt once a week as a preventative, and it has really helped! Pears might be another good option, and we found chia seeds (which are also found in squeeze pouches) had the same effect. Hope this helps – wishing you well!
pomegranate / 3438 posts
Is he constipated? My oldest son had/has functional constipation where he would still have a BM, but he wasn’t clearing everything out and it was causing him to have accidents.
But we also went through a phase in preschool where he just didn’t want to stop doing what he was doing to go to the bathroom. Luckily it only last a month or so.
guest
My niece did this exact same thing around 3 years old (maybe 3.5). She was totally potty trained and the. Just started peeing in her pants and it became clear she just didn’t want to stop what she was doing and didn’t care if she was wet. It was gross! Ha. Her parents just constantly asked if she had to pee and took her to the bathroom a lot preemptively. Within a few months she grew out of it. So I have no real strategies but I can tell you it will end!
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
He’s four and four months. He has been checked for UTI and is definitely not constipated.
nectarine / 2987 posts
Prompt him like you do with younger potty trained kids. Every 90 minutes. “Time for a bathroom break. Set your toys down and go potty.” If he protests it’s, “I am helping you listen to your body since you were choosing not to and having accidents. You may go back to playing after you go to the potty and wash your hands.” Prompt for a week or two then slowly stop without mentioning it.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I’m having similar issues with my 3.75 yo. She’s been potty trained since last August (so over a year) but still a couple times a week she waits too long and ends up peeing in her pants IN the bathroom in front of the toilet. I can often see that she has to go and prompt her to and she refuses and I have two choices: physically pick her up and put her on the potty, or remind her to listen to her body and go when she has to. 80% of the time when I let it go and remind her, she will make it in time. But the other times she goes racing to the potty and doesn’t make it. And it’s infuriating since I told her to go but short of forcing her on the potty with her screaming, she just won’t do it. And sometimes I’m just too tired to deal with that…
grapefruit / 4291 posts
My wee guy is the same age and we’ve been dealing with constantly wet pants for months now because he just doesn’t care. As far as we know there’s no physical cause to the wetting but yes just not bothered by the wet pants or having to go and change his pants. We’ve had some success with a sticker chart and regularly reminding him to go to the toilet.
On a practical note, could you look at training pants so you’re at least not dealing with wet outer clothes? I’d also make him do his own washing so he’s the one dealing with the mess and the smell.
guest
I have had this happen before with my boys. Here are a couple ideas:
Make sure he’s getting lots of attention when he DOES go to the bathroom successfully, not the other way around. As frustrated as you must be, try to stay unemotional when he has an accident. Don’t make a big fuss. But – with zero anger – DO have him clean up his own accidents.
As someone else commented, remind him to go. State calmly something like, “We need to get the pee in the potty and not in our pants. I’m going to help you remember go to the potty, and soon you will be able to do it by yourself.” Do it on the hour or the schedule you set.
Have him clean up the messes himself. Right now he may see it as easier to just pee on himself so he can go on playing. My sons both had issues with this! They need to come to the realization that running to the potty is quick and easy, whereas it’s a lot more work to have an accident. That’s why he needs to do the work himself, with your help. Calmly say “Uh oh! There is pee on the floor/clothes. We need to clean it.” Guide him to mop up the puddle, clean as needed, go get dry clothes, put wet ones in washer, etc. It will take a long time and be boring as heck! But when he does go to the potty on time, reinforce with “Wow that was so quick! Now we can get right back to playing.”
Finally, use rewards. My son who loves chocolate was HIGHLY motivated to actually make it to the bathroom on time when I offered him a couple of chocolate chips for each successful trip. Eventually you can phase them out, but for now you want to make it very worth his while to go to the bathroom! I think rewards are more successful than punishments, as long as you find a reward that motivates him.
Good luck. You’re not alone!
pomelo / 5573 posts
We’ve been having this too with my formerly potty trained son. In our case, I think it’s a little bit stress – we moved, and then a few days later my husband and I went on vacation and left the boys with my parents for the first time. He’s only been doing it on weekends, not at daycare.
I started setting a timer for 60 minutes and every time it goes off, we go for a “just in case” (“I don’t HAVE to pee!” “Well, let’s try just in case.”) If he’s really resistant to trying I’ll let him have an extra five minutes. I think it’s been successful – this was the first weekend since we moved with no accidents.
guest
My doctor suggested having my kid stop what they are doing, go to the potty, sit, wash hands, etc 10x each time they have an accident. I framed it that she was having a hard time leaving her activity to go potty, so we needed go practice. That and making her clean up, doing laundry included!, is what really changed it back to success.
This stage is about learning to hold it appropriately, and a lot about not wanting to walk away from games or toys.
clementine / 874 posts
My coworker was telling me that during his son’s regression at 4 they tried everything and he just didn’t seem to care. What eventually worked was giving him a lukewarm shower to clean him up after he had an accident. If literally nothing else works, I’d try that as a last-ditch effort.