After Little Marbles was born, Papa Marbles and I camped out at my parents’ house for a month. I had decided to follow the Chinese postpartum tradition of sitting the month. Prior to getting pregnant, I had often heard stories from various female relatives and their sitting the month traditions. I wanted to share the ones I chose to follow as well others I researched. I also wanted some context as to “why” I was supposed to do certain things, since in modern times, a lot of the customs do not seem relevant.

The main purpose of sitting the month is to restore the mother’s health. It is thought that the mother’s body has been “weakened” due to loss of blood and qi. To achieve this, you eat specific foods, do not bathe, and do not leave your home for 30 days. The baby is not supposed to leave the house either (until his/her one month birthday). Again, all these customs vary within each culture and by family.

Why? It’s believed postpartum that the mother’s skin is “loose” and water can enter the body through the pores in the skin. Water is harmful because with exposure, later in life you may develop swelling, arthritis and rheumatism or presently, could catch a cold which can be passed to the baby. Additionally, washing your hair may induce headaches, since there are so many pores on your head.

The Marbles Way: I had a sponge bath every three days.
Traditionally, you’re not supposed to bathe AT ALL. I had relatives who really stuck with this one; some would not even wash their hands with water but with rice wine. But I couldn’t do it. In the summer, I even shower twice a day because I hate being sweaty and my hair gets oily after a day, so I have to wash it every day otherwise it starts to look and feel pretty gross! Funnily enough, this didn’t turn out to be such a big deal because as a first time mom, I would rather sleep than shower, much to Papa Marbles’ chagrin! When I did bathe, my mother boiled up a large vat of homemade rice wine infused with lemongrass and ginger (foods considered to “retain warmth” and also skirts around using pure water for a bath). I’d sit in the bathtub, while my mother helped me to lather and rinse my hair with shampoo. Oddly, I found it very soothing, like a spa treatment and looked forward to this as a way to relax after a long day with a newborn. After bathing I had to thoroughly dry my hair with a hair dryer right away and bundle up in warm clothes. I was always wearing socks and long sleeve shirts and long pajama bottoms. My bare feet were not allowed to touch the floor because I could get a chill and thus catch a cold.

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Why? Again, it’s thought after birth that the new mother is in a weakened physical state. Bed rest is the safest way to ensure that the mother is not leaving the home and catching “wind” and cold, and it also keeps the mother off her feet so that her uterus can retract.

The Marbles Way: I was on my feet every day.
This rule just wasn’t practical for us. I had to take LM to the pediatrician and didn’t want Papa Marbles to do this alone, nor did I want to miss out on learning about LM and her progress. Also, we were staying in the finished basement of my parents’ house and it would be impossible for me to reach the room without going up and down a flight of stairs. With all that needed to be done to tend to LM (cleaning and making her bottles, doing her laundry, AND worrying about our new house), bed rest was not an option.

Why? After giving birth, it’s thought, and in most cases is true, that mothers lose a lot of blood, iron, and protein. Eating specialty foods will help the mother recover faster and build up her immune system.

The Marbles Way: My mother cooked a few specialty dishes for me.
My mother purposely bought a Chinese cookbook specializing in “sitting the month” recipes, but she ended up only making a few dishes (sautéed pork liver with ginger and steamed whole chicken in ginger) in rotation during my 30 days. It definitely got a little bland, but all of us were a little overwhelmed with caring for a newborn, so eating well wasn’t a priority on the list. I didn’t drink anything other than warm ginger water (even plain old, cold water was forbidden) and hot herbal teas. There are a few resources on the internet with recipes for “permitted” foods (most include ginger or rice wine) and of course, these all vary by region. Some common foods include: pig’s feet, whole chicken, whole fresh fish, eggs, a variety of “warm” herbs and condiments such as mint and vinegar. Every item had to be cooked. Eating raw vegetables or fruit was not allowed since they are considered “cold” foods. The other primary benefit of eating warm foods is that it helps expel lochia. Cold foods allow lochia to remain lodged in the body. My mother really harped on me about this one. She really believes that old blood and “clotted” blood (lochia) are bad for the bod,y and would constantly remind me that all of these precautions were done to get the bad blood out. Additionally, new mothers are encouraged to eat foods that will boost milk production.

Why? I’m not sure if this one is specific to my mother, since it’s rarely mentioned when the topic of “sitting the month” comes up, but my mother was overly concerned about my eyesight and concentration. She wanted me to really rest and not waste energy on reading or using the computer.

The Marbles Way: I didn’t use the computer very much, but I was attached to my iPad, which I guess is the same thing! I had no real form of entertainment when the baby was napping, so reading was all I could really do when I couldn’t sleep at 3AM and everyone else was snoozing. I did find my eyes getting tired a lot more easily (I also think my vision was a little affected during pregnancy), so I tried to limit long stretches of reading or iPad surfing, but there was not much I could do to stave off boredom! My mother insisted that sleep would obviously keep me from getting bored, but I could only sleep so much!

The Verdict:
I would certainly “sit the month” again. Although a lot of the rules seem arcane, most of them are grounded on some basic scientific reasoning or in an attempt to benefit the mother. And for me, I thought, What’s the worst that could happen if I followed the rules? I agree that it’s inconvenient and downright impossible without some help. Though for next time, I may consider staying at one of these “sit the month” centers just to save my mother the trouble of caring for me. At these centers you have a set meal plan, get a lot of assistance with baby care, and most importantly get rest!

Did you “sit the month” or participate in any cultural postpartum practices?

Hellobee Series: Mrs. Marbles part 8 of 11

1. The Road to Pregnancy - Part 1 by Mrs. Marbles
2. The Road to Pregnancy - Part II by Mrs. Marbles
3. The Road to Pregnancy - Part 3 by Mrs. Marbles
4. Emma's Birth Story Part 1 by Mrs. Marbles
5. Emma's Birth Story Part 2 by Mrs. Marbles
6. The Struggle by Mrs. Marbles
7. Re-learning How to Cook by Mrs. Marbles
8. Sitting the Month by Mrs. Marbles
9. Selfish or Self-Care? by Mrs. Marbles
10. A Portrait for The Marbles by Mrs. Marbles
11. Little Marbles' First Birthday by Mrs. Marbles

Chinese Confinement part 1 of 2

1. Sitting the Month by Mrs. Marbles
2. Korean-Chinese Postpartum Rituals by Mrs. High Heels