Have you ever heard of the famous 1960’s experiment with children and marshmallows? Stanford researchers left 4-6 year old children alone in a room with a marshmallow, and told them they would get a second marshmallow after 15 minutes if they didn’t eat the first one. Some of the children ate the marshmallow right away, most tried to resist at least for a little while, and 1/3 of the children were able to wait long enough to get the second marshmallow.
The researchers then followed the children through adulthood and found that the ones who were able to delay gratification and wait for the second marshmallow had higher SAT scores (an average of 210 points) and were generally happier and more successful in life.
Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child’s IQ. Children who are able to manage their feelings and pay attention are better able to learn. As executive function researcher Laura Berk explains, “Self-regulation predicts effective development in virtually every domain. (source)
Children develop executive function skills when they engage in true imaginative play, like playing cops and robbers. When children play make-believe, they make up stories, negotiate rules, and engage in conversations. This helps them develop cognitive and social skills. During imaginative play, children are truly regulating their own play, and their imagination is the only limit.
But in modern society, children increasingly play with toys with specific functions that limit their imagination. And they participate in sports and leagues with a defined set of rules. This type of structured play gives children less and less opportunities to regulate their behavior and speech. Add to that the increasing amounts of time children spend preparing for school testing at a young age, and there is even less time for imaginative play. Because of this, executive function has greatly decreased in the past century:
We know that children’s capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn’t stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at Mid-Continent Research for Education and Learning says, the results were very different.
“Today’s 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today’s 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago,” Bodrova explains. “So the results were very sad.” (source)
Perhaps poor executive function development is why ADHD is now so overdiagnosed – children just don’t know how to self-regulate their behavior!
But all is not lost — we can help our children develop executive function skills by encouraging them to engage in make-believe, and by playing games that teach impulse control like Freeze and Simon Says.
Knowing the importance of executive function is going to fundamentally change how I play with Charlie and Olive now. When they want me to buy them the latest toy or video game, I hope that instead I’ll be able to encourage them play with their imaginations.
Do you think you’d pass the marshmallow test? Do you have good executive function skills?
For more reading:
Want to Give Your Kids an Advantage? Build Executive Functions
Old Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills
Creative Play Makes for Kids in Control
apricot / 453 posts
My sister and I always played house, school, grocery store, hotel, etc growing up. We didn’t have a ton of toys and made other items around the house our “props.” I’d say I have pretty good executive function skills – I definitely didn’t score well on my ACT’s (didn’t take the SAT’s) but always did well in school and I enjoy being rewarded for a good performance.
Very interesting post – I’d like to read more about this. It’s all so intriguing.
cherry / 146 posts
Great post. I first heard about the marshmallow test in the recent WSJ article on “Why French Parents Are Superior” which discussed the importance of teaching kids how to delay gratification, etc. It would make sense that good delayers are better able to distract themselves.
As an only child in the house, I often had to play with my dolls and Barbies by myself… I guess I’d be pretty happy if my kids developed the same level of executive function skills that I have now.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
What a great post! I never realized games like Freeze and Simon Says are teaching impulse control – fascinating!
pomegranate / 3045 posts
I, like @birdieputt, heard about that test in the WSJ article “Why French Parents are Superior.” Really interesting read! Thanks for this post; yet more information that we can glean from the study.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@birdieputt: i’ve heard so much about that article but didn’t have a chance to read that article until now. great read! sounds like they touch on executive function and benign neglect — two things i need to improve in my parenting toolkit!
apricot / 453 posts
Anyone have a link to the article? I’d love to read it too.
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
this is a really interesting post.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@theknest: here you go;
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Interesting post! It is weird how toys are supposed to have such a defined function, I think it’s part of what adds to the clutter. We try to do a mix right now with baby, letting her have free range to explore with her own imagination and also having times where we demonstrate how to do different things. I worry about not being able to delay gratification and the implications it has for debt too, feel like the marshmallow experiment shows smart investing in your tummy.
persimmon / 1255 posts
@Mrs. Bee: Great post! Thanks for writing about all these great parenting/behavioral concepts. It’s definitely one of the many things that set Hellobee apart from other blog sites and keeps me coming back
grapefruit / 4120 posts
This is a tough subject and it seems weird that imagination and something like patience/delayed gratification are so linked. Seems illogical, honestly!
At the same time, to kind of go off on that French tangent, I think we need to consider what we want — well-behaved children or a certain type of adult. (What does “successful” mean? The person meets the expectations imposed by superiors?) When I studied in France, I found the differences very marked. However, I also found young French people seemed a bit boxed-in in terms of their thinking. Why shouldn’t I have a snack at 11 if I want? Instead of always imposing ourselves, I think we need to teach kids to question authority!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I would fail miserably. Like every time I watch the Biggest Loser and they have the don’t-eat challenge, I figure i would always shove a cupcake or two in my mouth.
coffee bean / 32 posts
Sometimes I played Freeze with my students for the last couple minutes if they packed up in record time and some could hardly last three seconds. And they REALLY like marshmallows… Off to read the article!
honeydew / 7968 posts
this will be in line with how i want to parent our kids. i don’t want to buy tons of toys – i feel kids have way too many and i go to some of my friends houses where they have whole living rooms dedicated to toys for kids and i’m like geez. that’s crazy! we didn’t have that many growing up!
i know i would have passed that test, not because i’d want another marshmallow, but because i don’t like marshmallows haha. i know my hubby would pass because he’s very good about delayed gratification. he cares about the end prize and it shows throughout his life and what he’s achieved so far.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Well, doesn’t the Montessori method use materials with a set definition on how they are to be used? As an example, the Pink Tower is only to be used for stacking in certain ways and only after mastery can it be used together with the Broad Stair.
I don’t think you can look at one concept in isolation and determine it to be superior to another, I think it’s more valuable to take the best of what each method or school of thought has to offer and apply it to the needs of your child.
I haven’t read this French parenting book yet, but it’s on my list. Thanks for the info, it’s great, honestly!
guest
I love this post and I had also read that article a few days ago. Kids need to learn to wait. To know that they aren’t the only ones in the world. That other people matter too. I think it’s also good for them to know that their parents are people too; who have goals, interests, and lives of their own. It sets a good example for them and shows them how to live fulfilling interesting lives that they build ON THEIR OWN. We are still there to guide them and show them the way through our own examples and encouragement. Although I DO love to join in sometimes in a rolicking round of farm or dollhouse play!
honeydew / 7504 posts
I really hope to encourage our children to entertain themselves, and to learn that everyone and everything is ready our available throbs they need it. My husband and I don’t want to buy cars with dvd players in them because we want our kids to learn to occupy themselves. My sister and I grew up taking 10-hour road trips every year, and we spent that time in the car reading, playing games, and singing songs. Too often it seems like children just don’t know how to self-soothe or self-entertain, snf I think that’s sad. So many of my favorite memories from my childhood are from when my sister and I were making up songs or games or dances. I worry that kids these days are missing out on that.
honeydew / 7504 posts
*sorry. …is not ready or available when they need it.
nectarine / 2750 posts
Wow – this was a great post! Growing up, almost all our play was make-believe type play. Now, it is all about video games and toys with pre-set functions. I am definitely going to keep this in mind when buying toys for our new baby.
I’d like to think I could resist the marshmallow for 15 minutes, I hope I could anyway!
pomegranate / 3595 posts
Great post! I agree with the importance of imaginative play for children, especially non structured play and the goal f teaching kids to manage their desires and solve their own problems. If i can do that as a mom i think it wiill be a great foundation.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
This is just so sad. The world is changing. When I was a kid I played by myself all day long on our family farm. Now, no kid gets that unstructured play time. Nobody seems to ask, what are they missing out on?
olive / 62 posts
I really liked this breakdown of the marshmallow test from Radiolab: http://www.radiolab.org/2010/oct/15/your-future-marshmallow/
guest
I would eat it right away. I don’t need two marshmallows. I didn’t need my SAT to be as high as it was, either – although it helped a little with scholarships.
Of course, the ability to have control over oneself is important, but I would propose that the things we value controlling are not always the most important things.
cherry / 128 posts
@sloaneandpuffy: I think with parenting it’s helpful to identify what your goals are for your child, and then use that to figure out your parenting strategy.
For example, one of my parenting goals is for my child to NOT respect authority, but instead have respect for all living beings. (Because respecting authority is what leads to Nazi Germany, the abuses at Abu Grahib, etc.) So I will not say, “Do it because I’m the Mommy and I say so” – I don’t expect blind obedience, and I hope that I can encourage good behavior through my son’s relationship with me, and help develop his moral compass.
cherry / 128 posts
I don’t like marshmallows, so I wouldn’t have had problems not eating it. Change it to a cookie though, and all bets are off!
Seriously, though, growing up I didn’t have as many toys as my peers. I had exactly one Barbie growing up (bought by my cousin) and missed the whole Cabbage Patch craze. Whenever I complained to my parents, I’d get a talk about how lucky I was, that they had only mud pies and ditches.
Anyways, as an adult I’m thankful that my parents were pretty non-materialistic, and so as a parent, I’ve definitely shied away from branded, commercial objects for my son. There’s no need for him to know about Thomas the Train and whatever it is that kids are into these days.
I’ve also noticed that it’s so easy to get into the habit of watching TV. Even though I try to limit it (and even then it’s only DVDs) to when I really need to get something done, I see my son start to ask for TV. When I don’t fall back on the TV, and instead turn on music to encourage him to dance or direct him to other activities, I find him becoming more creative in occupying himself.