Hellobee

I just have to say that the “Where are you from? No, where are you from originally?” question drives me crazy. My dad is Cuban American and my mom is white, and I was born in the US. I am from right here, darn it! It is so rude to presume that you can ask a stranger about their family background simply because their appearance is not the norm. I’m sure white people would be thrown off if you approached them without so much as a hello and asked about their life story!

I haven’t gotten it blatantly, but the subtle good ol’ boy way. (I’m black and I live in Georgia.) Hopefully my daughter doesn’t deal with it, but if the fools who do it breed, then it’ll still be there.

The tiny bit of Chinese ancestry I have went straight to my eyes. I’m Filipino but have a more “Asian” look. In elementary school, I’d get the whole “ching-chong-ching” while the other Filipino kids with larger eyes never got teased. I specifically remember an incident in the 3rd grade when I had just come back from vacation (in the Philippines) and wore patterned Egyptian hieroglyphic pants from Mervyn’s. A girl in my class thought it was Chinese writing, as if someone took the time out to write crap on my pants. She must have asked more annoying questions so I told her that the slit in my eyes were the product of someone cutting them open. She believed it! To this day, I can’t help but roll my eyes when I remember that story!

In middle school I was “la china/chinita”, it eventually turned out to be a term of endearment since a lot of the Mexican cholas became my friends!

When I was young, there were no Asians on TV and I remember hating my eyes. When I grew up, it became my favorite feature. I got all the comments you’d gotten, including the “go back to where you belong”, ironically from someone that was middle eastern. It’s always open game for strangers to guess my ethnicity and at this point, I actually get a kick out of it!

My kids will be only be half Asian and both myself and my husband hope they get my eyes (plus he has horrible vision)! If they’re raised here in Sweden, I don’t worry so much about them being treated badly for being biracial. Swedish kids and society just seem to be more timid compared to American kids. I have never heard of any outright acts of bullying in that way, but if it happens, I’m sure our babies will be strong enough to deal with it or at the very least come to us for help.

If we end up raising our children in the San Diego instead, it’s pretty diverse and I won’t worry about being Asian – I’d be more worried about them being Swedish.

I’d be curious to know if anyone can suggest a better way to ask someone about their ethnic origins. I’m often interested to know the background of a new acquaintance, but don’t want to ask “so, where’s your family from?” since I know the answer is often, say, “LA!” and “What is your family’s ethnic origin?” just seems awkward. Now, I usually just wait until the new acquaintance volunteers the information.

@theRoo: Your instincts are correct on this one. It’s never polite to ask someone their family’s ethnic background. If you know the person well enough to be curious about that level of personal detail, it will probably come out eventually. Just don’t mention it unless they volunteer it.

@Crumbs: i’m Filipino too but everyone thinks I’m Hispanic so I never got teased for being Asian. I also grew up in SoCal with a lot of Filipinos and Hispanics in my school so that helped. If anything, the white kids were the outcasts!

Right now in DD’s class there’s a lot of white and Asian kids. We haven’t experienced any racism yet, but her class is divided by primary languages spoken… There’s the French group, the Mandarin group, then the English group. As Filipinos, we are definitely the minority in our neighborhood and in Manhattan (less than 0.5%!).

We are moving back to LA by the time DD starts pre-k and are looking for a school with good diversity. I do think it will make a difference in how she’s raised.

I dealt with a lot of racism when I was growing up, which is why I want to raise my children in an ethnically diverse area. I want them to be able to interact comfortably with every type of person, and not feel singled out the way I often did when I was growing up.

I think it’s hilarious when people find out I’m Korean and then ask “North or South?” I always say “Straight off the boat from North Korea”. Or when I tell curious strangers I was born in Brooklyn and they respond with something along the lines of “Your English is so good!” Seriously, how can you do anything but laugh in response to such ignorance?

We didn’t have a lot of racial diversity in my grade schools. I had one friend who I knew was adopted from China but I guess I never thought she was any different than me and I don’t recall her being bullied for her race – but I might just not have heard it. There were a total of 2 black kids in my high school and I don’t recall any other ethnicities.

In grade school, it was more just general meanness with the bullying and teasing rather than pulling out someone’s racial identity – probably because there were so few people who weren’t caucasian.

I can’t imagine what it would have been like to grow up with one more thing for people to tease me about. I honestly cannot believe you still get comments on the street like the ones you mentioned!!

I am worried about this with our daughter. She’s Filipino, Black, white and Native American. We’re going to get comments all the time, so I’m just practicing my responses now. I got some great advice recently, when an African American friend said, “You’d better learn to use grace when dealing with ignorance, because no one likes the angry white lady. If I’m the angry black lady, no one will mess with me… but honey, you’ll get eaten alive!”

I thought it was funny and good advice!

When I think about it, sadly I’ve faced many racist moments in my life as a child and even now. Though like you mrs bee I’ve become a lot more desensitized about it. It always seem to be th default thing that people resort to in order to offend or get a rise out of me. Sometimes people say racially insensitive things to me but I know it was unintentional so those don’t bother me as much. Even my coworkers used to say to me they were realky surprised that fluent English came out of my mouth. They would tell me “if I closed my eyes and listened to you talk, I’d totally never think you were Asian.” and even my pts families once made really mean, racist comments about me and my Asian coworkers even though we were the ones providing professional care for their loved ones. But I tell myself, it’s not my problem. If they want to be ignorant that’s on them. I do worry about my daughter having to face racism but I hope to raise her to love her culture and respect that of others. Every experience she might/could experience we will deal with.

I don’t know if you can really consider it racism but I’m white and red haired/freckled. My whole childhood I was teased/mocked and then as an adult assumed to be overly sexual or “crazy” because of my hair color. Even though I’m white, it just goes to show you people of all races discriminate against one another based on looks. Heck, it even happens with weight these days too. Society likes to box people into specific molds for some reason.

I have noticed Asian people with predominantly Asian speaking parents can have accents to their English. Could this be why people make comments? Again, not saying its right but just trying to understand the “why”.

I grew up in an area with a lot of racial diversity, so I never dealt with racism/racial slurs directed at me, even in my adult life. Actually, I’ve never even been offended if someone asked me what ethnicity I am, because I know I confuse people. Growing up, I was asked that very often, while my elder brother was never asked, and my younger brother only rarely. I never realized it was a rude question until someone else told me that they hated the question.

The most racist comment made to me was by a coworker/friend who was a recent transplant from Boston. He said something along the lines of no one being able to tell Asians apart. I was angry at first, but then I realized that he was just ignorant.

I haven’t had to deal with racism directed at me personally growing up, but I do have some older racist family members. Marrying my husband & hearing some of the things that they say to him, not maliciously because I know that they love him, but out of ignorance, hurts my heart for him. And to think that our children are going to have to hear things like that, not only out of ignorance, which can at least be corrected, but also out of plain meanness really upsets me.
Like a pp said, I guess that it’ll just have to be something that’s dealt with grace {and lots of forgiveness}.

I grew up in a suburb of Philadelphia. In elementary, middle school and high school, there were a small handful of minority students. (Elementary school- There were about 5 other asians in my grade; In middle school and high school, there was about 10-20 asians in a class of 400-600) In elementary school was when I heard the ‘ching chong’ or call me ‘chink’ from ignorant immature bullies. Overall, I don’t think I saw a lot of racism against me. After elementary school, students were pretty respectful.
I always wonder if I would have lived in a different area like LA or Seattle (or maybe if I lived in a big city instead of a suburb) that things would have been different for me since there are so many asians and the stereotypes are more prominent when you see them all the time.
Now that I live in Seattle, where I see a lot of asians, I do see the stereotype of the bad asian drivers. (I, luckily, don’t contribute to that stereotype. My husband, my family and I believe that I’m one of the good asian drivers. My dad and my sister know that they are bad drivers. My mom sometimes. )

I do also notice that drivers in general are bad out here. It’s not all asians. I’m going to say that if I’m behind a bad driver that there’s a 50% chance that it will be an asian driver. (My definition of bad driver is someone who could cause an accident because of how they drive. Driving too slow, cutting through 3 lanes of traffic to get off at an exit… etc.) Although, I grew up on the east coast where people are much more ‘Got things to do, people to see’ versus people from Seattle are much more relax. I consider them ‘Sunday drivers.’ Which for me can be annoying because I’m always on the go.

I have heard white people, say to me ‘nee hao’. When I’m out and about. This is all over. I see it sometimes in NYC, Seattle, Philadelphia, San Francisco. I see it everywhere. I don’t get offended by it. I think they think I’m chinese and they are just trying to be nice.

Things I do get annoyed about is when people ask me my (maiden) name and I tell them. (It’s a very very common vietnamese last name.) They usually respond with ‘Oh, do you know [insert someone with same last name.]’ I usually tell them politely that no, I’m not related and that my last name is like a Jones or a Smith.

I know they don’t know that my last name is that common but I would hope they would remember that next time. Similar to if, I met someone with a Jones or Smith last name or something very common, I don’t ask them if know so and so. I know that it’s a very slim chance that they do so I don’t even bother asking.

As for asking the question, ‘where I’m from? I know what they mean so I’m not usually offended by it. I tell them Philadelphia and they they ask, ‘No, where are you really from?’ or ‘Where are your parents from?’ That’s when I answer. I guess I would rather them ask the latter instead of thinking all asians are the same. Then that’s when they say something about Vietnam or about how they like our food. Like Pho.

I do have to say that I consider myself a ‘twinkie’. Yellow on the outside, white on inside. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a suburb and always wanted to be white. Maybe it’s because of how my parents raised me that I ‘didn’t want to be different.’ My siblings and I were stubborn with learning vietnamese. We didn’t want to. Maybe it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m asian. Maybe because I’m shy and I don’t like standing out. (Oh, I have to say that i’m a 1.5 er. So my parents and older sister was born in Vietnam and my other siblings and I were born in the United States.)

I have noticed that since moving out to Seattle, seeing more vietnamese people and businesses and being away from my family, that I actually want to embrace my culture more. I miss it. I want to learn Vietnamese so I’m fluent. It’s sad that it took me to move away from my family to realize this.

As for my kids, I’m not sure what I want for them. I understand that my parents just wanted me to not lose my culture. Which is why they tried so hard when I was young. My kids will be half and half (asian and caucasian). I think its going to be different for them because we will combine my culture and my husband’s culture. It all won’t be on sided. I want them exposed to my culture. They will probably see enough of it from my family. I would hope that they respect all cultures.

As for them facing racism, I wonder if being half and half will have any impact. I’m 100% vietnamese and I look asian. My nephew is half and half and looks half and half. He acts more white than asian. His parents don’t teach him about our culture that much, which might be why he acts the way he does. I hope to teach my kids about my culture. Not sure about teaching them how to speak it though. I would have to learn first.

Oh, writing this reminds me of this video. ‘Sh*t White People say to Asians’ Makes me LOL! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpyPnrz_PkM I hope this doesn’t offend anyone.

I grew up in Los Angeles and went to school where I was one of the few white kids. I got teased quite a bit about being white. Most of it didn’t bother me since the comments were so silly. I got tons of blonde jokes, since I was Irish they asked me if I ever saw leprechauns. Just dumb stuff. It does seem like no matter what race there will always be insensitive people who say dumb things

@theRoo: @PawPrints is right. If people want you to know about their ethnicity or anything else about their personal background, they will tell you. I’ll never forget how a co-worker tried to very politely get out of me if my husband or I were Muslim because of our last name. She did it as nicely and nonchalantly as I imagine anyone could, and while I wasn’t offended, it made me feel really uncomfortable. There are just things you don’t ask people.

@Mrs. Jacks: It makes me smile to see you write “our daughter” in reference to Jack Jack!!! I am a huge fan of, “Why do you ask?” I’m not adopted but I look a lot different than my mother because of my ethnic background, and she got, “Where did you get her?” a lot. Saying “Why do you ask?” with a smile puts people in their place!

@Nskillet: It’s terrible how kids (and adults) pick on each other for pretty much anything that makes them different. I’m sure your red hair is beautiful – I love red hair! However, I just wanted to point out that racism is actually discrimination against a minority group that has been marginalized systematically. When people are racist, they are participating in this systematic discrimination, so racism against white people in America is really a misnomer. Discrimination and prejudice of all kinds are wrong, of course, but it does bother me when people try to equate “reverse racism” to true racism, which is still a huge problem in our society unfortunately.

@yrret107: Every driver is bad in Seattle… It’s just that a few of those drivers are also Asian! BTW- I was always called an egg in college… white on the outside, yellow on the inside.

@daniellemybelle: I think “why do you ask” is great, because it puts people back into their thought process and sometimes there is a legit reason for asking.

@theRoo: I personally don’t mind at all when someone asks me about my ethnic origin. I’m often interested in other people’s ethnic origin – we are all immigrants afterall =)

I often ask other Asians about their ethnic origins and no one has ever found it rude or private. All my European friends in the States are also very candid about their roots.

I appreciate the curiosity and hope that the information exchanged helps bring people together. It’s just when people automatically assume your ethnic origin – that’s what I find annoying. Or worse, when someone claims they can identify what “kind of Asian” someone is purely by features. I’m Asian myself and it’s impossible for me to guess correctly.

In Scandinavia, where there’s few immigrants, people here seem to be uneasy asking. I’d rather them ask then assume.

@Mrs. Jacks: Haha. I sometimes feel bad about calling all Seattleites bad drivers because they say that Seattle is a transplant city so a lot of people are not from Seattle. Also, I don’t want to offend anyone who are Seattle natives. My husband complains about the drivers out here A LOT! I keep telling myself that there are bad drivers everywhere. Lastly, I’m from the east coast, specifically Philly, so I know we get our own bad rap for being too aggressive, too fast, too wreckless, too impatient… etc.

Oh, never heard of being called an ‘egg.’ That’s funny. Yup, we have a twinkie and an egg on HB!

It makes me so sad that this is an issue even in supposedly more diverse/enlightened parts of the country. One of our reasons for moving soon is to get away from some of the Stone Age thinking endemic to our area, but I guess you’re never safe from ignorance.

@daniellemybelle well said! I couldn’t truly call my experiences racism but more discrimination. Kids refusing to associate me, pick me for groups etc and then in adult life being regularly viewed by men as a nympho!

“reverse racism” is absolutely fictional and routinely drives my husband and I batty when fellow caucasians try and use it. I hope my previous post didn’t come off that way it certainly wasn’t intended.

@daniellemybelle: Just wanted to highlight that discrimination against red-haired people isn’t necessarily an example of reverse racism. There is a long and painful history of discrimination against people with red hair:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_hair#Prejudice_and_discrimination_against_redheads

It has gotten especially bad for red-haired people after South Park aired a series of episodes saying that “gingers have no souls.” I’ve heard that line referenced over and over, especially against young kids in my neighborhood. It’s pretty brutal.

There is a longstanding debate over whether or not prejudice against red-haired people is as bad as racism:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/6725653.stm

I don’t have an official opinion on that one, but I did want to highlight that discrimination against red-haired people does have a pretty painful history of its own.

Yep, pretty much, even growing up on a small island in the pacific where there are a lot of Asians there as well. Mostly Filipinos who are also Asians, but I still got teased. I’m totally desensitized by it as well; but won’t really stand for it when called to my face though. I actually got into an argument with an African American lady at a department store when I first moved to Northern Virginia 7 years ago b/c she first started being rude to me and then told me to go back to my country. Yeah. I gave her a piece of my mind. I probably won’t do that these days since I have a child and another on the way. I think there’s always going to be racism wherever we go. And I think it depends on where you live as well. I used to work an hour away from home and in a predominately Caucasian city and I got a lot of stares, but mostly from little kids who didn’t know what I was. It was funny and I just brushed that off b/c they are little kids. Education and exposure to other cultures is so important these days though. But, sadly, not everyone has the opportunity to learn about other cultures…

@mrbee: Wow, that’s interesting! I’ll admit I had no idea about some of that. I still think that the systematic racism against groups like African Americans or Japanese Americans our country has experienced is in a different category than discrimination against red-haired people. But my point was more about me bristling at anything resembling an argument for reverse racism. When you encounter it often, like I do, you have your counter points ready!

@Nskillet: I’m glad to see you feel the same way I do!!! I hope you didn’t feel “called out,” and I still hate to hear the way you’ve been treated because of your hair color!

@Daniellemybelle you were gentle in your assertions so no harm no foul. I agree with them too! I just identified with what Mrs. bee posted and wanted to share my experiences.

I remember a time when i was asked to stand in front of a roast duck in chinatown so he can take a picture of me and his wife. as a hotheaded teenager from nyc, i asked him if he wanted to pay me the same amount he would pay to go to disney world and take a picture with mickey mouse. i never regretted saying this to them but i hope my kids would never have to say this to anyone.

I moved to this county 10 years ago so I didn’t grow up here per se. Besides, where I came from is multiracial and we all lived in harmony regardless of race, language or religion. My workplace is globally diverse and I am in the SF Bay Area. I do get comments from out of state ignorant co-workers who thinks all Asians are alike, speak the same language etc.

It bothers me to see that racism is apparent even in mainstream media. I am appalled that anyone will use words like ‘chink’ in this day and age. I will really hate it for my kids to grow up with racism. I even said to DH that we don’t belong here and if we should move back to Asia. It’s sad really.

I grew up the only Korean American to grace the steps of the local elementary school in my tiny Southern hometown – that is until my little sister came two years later. I spoke very little English so the faculty put me in a class with mentally disabled children who spontaneously vomited and sang to themselves. No ESL then *sigh*. Needless to say, I was motivated to learn English quickly and was able to rejoin my class after several weeks of non-stop Sesame Street and Perry Mason. Not that there’s anything wrong with disabled people but my understanding was that I was viewed that way for being Asian. My parents don’t know about it to this day. I’ve opted to just keep that to myself for their own sake. I still live in the South and still encounter racism but not as much or as severely as when I was a child. I went to a culturally diverse university within the state and now live in a more metropolitan area (RTP, NC.) When I was working (pre-baby), it was common for clients who spoke with me on the phone prior to a meeting say “wow, I thought I was going to meet some blonde blue southern belle!” I would always reply with a smile “I am Southern. I was born and raised in North Carolina… just not my parents.” I grew up eating grits, liver mush, and chit’lins along with kimchi and soon dae. I enjoy shootin’ and barbecuing as well as watching Korean dramas for fun.

Bottom line – oh boy was I ever affected by racism. I still encounter racist people all the time – even racist minorities! But I’m still in the South for a reason. I love it here. Though ignorance persists, most of my non-Asian Southern friends are kind and open-minded. It’s beautiful here where I’m never in want for green grass and trees. The owls talk to each other in my back yard at night and I’ve grown to enjoy the looks on strangers’ faces when they hear my twang. I don’t think I’ll escape racism anytime soon since I’ve chosen to live in the South and raise my bi-racial child (hopefully children) here. My husband, who is White but only one generation removed from his German roots, also thinks about our family’s future here but he feels the same way about the South. Now we’re having to consider the racism they may encounter from other Koreans who look down on mixed Koreans – sad but true. But we’ll be facing it together and that’s all that really matters. I’m happy to see more multi-racial families growing here in NC and I’m grateful that I have a big (and very open-minded) first generation family that have supported all of us kids with non-Korean spouses/partners.

what a great post! so glad this issue is being addressed and I love this blog. My 5 week old LO is 3/4 Korean growing up in NYC and I don’t worry so much about her facing racism as much as her having to deal with social media/cyber teasing as she gets older for any random reason besides her race. I grew up in NYC as a Korean American and although I faced racism growing up, I don’t think it’s as bad as outside of NYC and I feel like the level of racial acceptance here will only get better. Outside, it definitely feels like a majority oppressing a minority. When I left New York to go to college in Central Pennsylvania, there were SO many uninformed,racist comments made by clueless white people that I was happy to return to my hometown after graduating.

I actually find New York to have more issues with class & sex division rather than anything based on race.

With the Jeremy Lin sensation, I’m so glad he finally got discovered big time. Unlike Bruce Lee who was still kept within the realm of “exotic” and “foreign”, Jeremy Lin has broken so many stereotypes and is dominating a space never thought possible for Asians. It makes me really proud when I see people who are non-Asian holding up signs professing their love and adoration for him. Finally! An Asian person (and an Asian Man at that) is garnering some respect by the general public!

every time someone tells me “wow your English is so good!”, I now respond with a big smile and “thanks, yours too.” I got tired of explaining, and this usually gets my point across!

Oooh, I also should say that I fear the whole “exotic” thing, which I am sure that many of the minorities (especially mixed minorities) here get. My asian friends have always hated that there were some white guys that only wanted to date them because they are so “exotic”. Our daughter is definitely gonna get that moniker thrown at her because her eyes are asian, but skin appears African American (I love how she’s toasting up!) and her hair at this point is a wavy combo between Native and black (though it may change).

I grew up in Queens, which was a huge melting pot with tons of asians even back then so I don’t think I experienced any racism as a kid. It wasn’t until I moved up to Boston for grad school that I had my first few encounters. I found it shocking that these adults still pulled up at the corner or their eyes and did the “ching-chong” thing.

I am now in the Philly suburbs in a predominantly caucasion neighborhood. I was a little worried, thinking that I would for sure face racism here in this small town. But everyone here is VERY PC….maybe overly so. Most of them seem eager to want to learn about my culture and respect it. I have gotten a few innocence, ignorant comments…but I appreciate that they are at least trying to learn. There is also, for some reason, a huge amount of adopted asian children in the neighborhood and maybe that contributes to their positive attitude? When my non-asian sitters bring my kids to the playground, most people assume that they are the adoptive parents because it’s such a common sight around here. The elementary school is 10% asian, which isn’t bad at all considering that he overall population is only about 1-2% asian.

This still blows my mind. With the risk of sounding completely ignorant (or pretentious) I never knew people were racist against Asian-Americans. I went to a very small boarding school with a large foreign student population, so I was exposed rather early to a lot of diversity. It wasn’t until after college that I witnessed blatant racism toward them. I was shocked. It was ridiculous to mix up the kids whose homes are in Asia verses those of Asian descent who are American.

When I moved to my husband’s small Texas hometown, it became seriously obvious that people could be hateful. My best friend was adopted from Korea, and she gets the “ching chang chong!” from other races. One would think being a victim of racism would make one more understanding, but obviously not. I want to raise my daughter to be compassionate and open minded. It won’t be easy, especially with our older relatives attitudes, but it’s very important to me that she doesn’t act hateful toward others.

I nodded at each comment you made in this post. I experience nearly all of the same things and while it’s gone down in recent years, it’s still a very real part of our world today.

I wrote a blog post about the same concerns. Not only do our children face being “different,” they also bear the weight of being two races (1/2 korean, 1/2 white (polish/german)… and it’s a very real thought in my mind as we are going through our TTC journey.

Like previous ppl have said on a thread I posted with the same sentiments, while we want to protect our children from anything bad… it’s all a part of their learning/life experience as well. I can only hope to engulf them in our love and teach them to love others equally no matter the ethnicity, gender, age, sexuality, etc.

The only racist thing I’m sick and tired of is dog jokes. Everything else, I’ve gotten a really thick skin for.

I live in a tiny, 99.99% White town. People here are quick to tell me how much they love the “Asian culture” but are culturally ignorant. However I have only had one instance where I felt discriminated against and it was by a Russian who barely spoke any English. It’s funny to me how the minorities are more quick to judge each other when we should be sticking together.

i definitely faced racism when i was young, especially since there wasn’t as much of an asian invasion as there are now. but nowadays, i rarely feel the effects of racism. i really don’t think my kids will be facing any, especially in jersey. maybe if we moved down south or something. but even in richmond and mid-west, i didn’t feel any racism.

Aaaah racism, the bane of my existence. I am black, of West African origin but was born and raised in England. I moved to NY about 8 years ago, and honestly, that is when I really started to feel the brunt of racism. I always get “Where are you from? No, where are you from originally?” and it annoys the hell out of me, but I try to answer as best I can because I know it can be confusing. The constant comments don’t bug me so much as things like taxi drivers refusing to stop for me because of my skin colour, people following me around in stores, bars not wanting me to come in. These are the things that upset me, these are things that make me nervous for LO.

DH is 1/4 Japanese, 1/4 Taiwanese and 1/2 Polish but was born and raised in CT. We have compared racist experiences, and he has had a few comments here and there but he has never felt like his life was directly impacted the way I have. I worry about LO. I worry about the ‘exotic’ label, and I worry about her having to explain that her Mum is British and Dad is American but they are a combo of black, caucasian and asian. I also worry about DH, because he really takes it very hard everytime we run into these racial issues. Like he can’t believe people still suck so much.

I am telling myself that I am just overthinking it and these incidents will be few and far between especially because we live in NY. When they do come up, we’ll just have to teach LO how to deal with it. It is unfortunately part of life.

I think this isa a very interesting perspective and possible counterpoint to your post:
http://thepopchef.blogspot.com/2012/03/in-hood-like-chinese-wings.html