I cannot express how thrilled I am for you to be entering this journey of motherhood!
It is like you are joining a sorority of sisters who have all lived through 10 months of bodily changes plus an additional six to 12 weeks (or more) of sleep deprivation, engorged breasts, and episiotomies.
And if we all lived through it to tell our stories, you will too. Don’t you worry.
Somewhere along the way, you will find your maternal instinct. You will know your baby, and your baby will know you. And if it doesn’t happen immediately, be kind to yourself. It takes time to build a relationship. And one day your baby will lock eyes with you and smile, and at that moment you realize you would jump in front of a moving train to save this perfect, tiny little creature. And your heart expands to levels you were not even aware existed.
My friend Kate once told me, “Children teach us that we are not in control and that we have to depend on God day by day.” It is the truth. I would imagine this lesson becomes harder to learn as your children approach adolescence and start becoming independent and making their own decisions – good and bad. But it is also true at 3 AM when your newborn poops all over herself for the third time in a row, just after you have given her a fresh diaper. Or when your baby suddenly gets a bout of hiccups lasting for fifteen minutes, just seconds before falling asleep. Those are the moments you throw your hands up to the sky and ask, “Why God, WHY?”
The sleepless nights will feel like an eternity, but you will sleep again. Time will resume its normal course and you will see how much faster it flies by with an infant. One day they learn to lift their heads. Then they smile. And then they can roll over. Soon they start sitting on their own, crawling away from you, and during those wardrobe and diaper changes that turn into a wrestling match you’ll sit back and think, “Remember when you were just a little blob that couldn’t move? Yeah.” I have heard from other moms that with each stage/milestone, one thing gets easier and another thing gets harder.
All to say, I am genuinely excited and happy for you! To all of the mamas who had babies between July – December of 2011 , as a new first-time mom I must confess, I feared for your lives. Instead of excitement, I felt terror and dread for you. I thought, “Watch out! Your newborn is going to END you!” I probably should not have been allowed to attend any baby showers during those months, because when asked at my friend’s shower what the “most enjoyable thing about the first month of motherhood” was I answered, “Nothing. Nothing is enjoyable the first month.”
Now I can not imagine my life without her. Becoming a mother has been incredibly humbling, life-changing, and challenging, but I would not change a single thing.
bananas / 9118 posts
You said it perfectly!
It definitely took time for us to bond. I loved him, but didn’t “like” him until he smiled. I was scared of him for several months too. It is a great thing to have yourself surrounded by people who get it.
guest
Absolutely love this post!!! So true.
My baby was born in August 2011 so you would have imparted scary wisdom to me– first few months are now a blur, so tough, but indescribable.
And now that he is 13 months, I didn’t realize my heart could feel so much love and happiness. I wasn’t aware that a feeling like this existed. And looking back I wouldn’t change a single thing!
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
I love this! I’m due within the week and so nervous. It’s good to hear some honesty!
guest
My first baby is due to arrive any day now! I needed this! Thank you!!
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
@Lemondrop – I understand completely! During pregnancy, I had this notion that I would bond immediately to my baby, and felt extremely guilty when it didn’t. I loved her too, but boy were those first couple of months hard!
@Rebecca – That is great!
@SorryCharlie & @Jennifer – Congratulations to you two! It’s okay to be nervous. In fact, it would be weird if you weren’t! Becoming a mom is one of those crazy things (and nothing compares to it), but it is going to be one amazing journey. So excited for you.
honeydew / 7504 posts
Um, this totally made me tear up! We’re still 16 weeks from meeting our LO and it is the scariest most exhilarating and exciting thing I’ve ever waited for.
pomegranate / 3160 posts
This. Is. Fabulous.
guest
Awww… this made me cry. Great post!
And I totally hear you on those early months. LO is 4 months old and I almost feel like my old self again, which is something I feared (and wept over several times a day) would never happen during the first 2 months or so. But you’re right — it gets SO much better.
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
@MeredithNYC – Yes! That is something I cried over in those early months as well. You’ve sparked an idea for a new blog post!
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
@ms.janedoe: Why, thank you!