I don’t know about you, but I gave up trying to look cute a looooong time ago. With the kiddos and life and trying to adjust to all the changes… well, fashion fell to the back burner. Not even the back burner… the trash? The dump? Don’t get me wrong — I have a good day here and there, but not every day. Every day is more of a jammie “just wear what I slept in and hope I make it through the day alive” sort of look. Shower? Nonexistent half the time. Hair? Pulled into a bun or ponytail. Usually dirty and messy. Makeup? Ha!
I’ve hit the schlump wall. I can’t take anymore of myself looking like I crawled out of a dumpster.
I’ve spent the past several weeks consulting magazines and websites on what I should be wearing these days. But, most of the stuff I’ve found is focused on the working woman. Cute things. Dry clean only things. Form-fitting and restricting things. Sigh.
I haven’t found much advice for moms. Specifically, stay at home moms or work at home moms who want to know what might work for our specific lifestyle. I decided to take on the challenge myself, dammit.
I’m now doing a new line of posts from time to time called “Stay at Home Mom Style” where I will feature an image of how I usually look, how I might look if I put in minimal effort, and how I look when I plan out an outfit and actually try (without trying much… ha!).
First, I had to come up with a list of clothing requirements/at home mom fashion problems. Here’s my list specific to me:
1. Clothes must be comfortable. This is obvious, but not just for comfort’s sake. What do we do all day? Bending, cleaning, wiping (hello spit up!), picking up toys, playing with My Little Ponies on the floor, changing diapers, playing tag, putting strollers together, crawling on the floor with baby… the list goes on and on. Clothes that have tight seams or stiff edges are not comfortable in these listed situations. Is it any wonder that sweatsuits and workout gear are the choices of many?
2. Clothes must be machine washable. Much of the day I’m covered in spit up, marker, food, drool, snot, tears (not only my own, haha!.) My clothes must be washable. I can’t afford constant dry cleaning. Nor do I have the time to schlepp my stuff to said dry cleaner.
3. Clothes can’t be easy to wrinkle. You know, I hate ironing. So I don’t bother. I wear wrinkly clothes all the time. Oh well. If I can, I try to find non-iron shirts and clothes made of fabrics that don’t easily wrinkle. Problem semi-solved.
4. The neckline can’t be low, loose, or revealing. I have an 8 month old. He pulls! Plus, I’m always bending down and I don’t feel like showing the ladies to everyone in the room. Nobody wants to see them anymore anyway, trust me.
5. Clothes must be flexible to wear different seasons. I live in northern New England. It’s a long-ass winter. I need things to work from fall, through winter, and into spring. Thanks to leggings and thick tights, I can wear a lot more for longer. Yay! Thank you layering! Thank you cardigans!
That’s my list that has helped me figure out what need to be wearing.
So, let’s get on with things! First, let me show you what I would normally look like when sitting around the house all day and not going anywhere. Try not to scream. I’ll try not to cry.
I wore those jammie pants and t-shirt to bed. I threw on the workout shirt over that so I didn’t freeze to death when I brought Paige out to her bus. I wear contacts, but of course don’t make the time to put them in. Shower? Ha!
Not long ago, if I decided to “get dressed” to run to the store, I might have thrown on an old pair of jeans and a cute top. I slipped on some easy shoes and off I went. I was just grabbing groceries. You know the drill. But, I still felt frumpy. What? A wet hair bun isn’t stylish?
I decided that showering at night is the best solution to staying clean. Once the kids are in bed, I have more time for self-care. I even blow-dry my hair so that there’s not much to do in the morning. Innovative, right?
I’ve always heard that accessorizing was key when it comes to looking more pulled together. But I didn’t know what the hell that meant. On my own, I’ve discovered that a little extra detail takes no real extra effort but makes an outfit look more put together.
Here, along with my cute Downeast Basics top from the last photo, I added a yellow leather skinny belt, trouser jeans (jeans, but they look dressier), and fun yellow flats. For good measure, my hair is dried and I have deodorant! It’s the little things. Just the belt alone was the trick to adding more sass with no real effort! The trouser jeans are the same effort, but they seem more expensive and dressy, don’t they? (shh, they’re not!) A better look would probably be skinny jeans or jeggings but I don’t own them. This outfit fits the bill for a day at home and running errands… your average every day.
Here’s an image of the outfit with different shoes — a platform wedge. I don’t normally wear high heels, but the platform in these makes for a lot of support. My feet don’t hurt in them. But, I wouldn’t wear shoes like these all day. Maybe out to lunch or for shopping? On a movie date?
And finally, here’s another version of the same outfit where I tuck the shirt in and put the belt around the jeans. I like this too, but I still have a tummy from having Noah, so I prefer the untucked look. The jersey knit to the shirt is smooth, stretchy and comfortable, but not very forgiving around the belly when tucked in!
For good measure, I added a chunky bracelet, a bit of mascara, and a bit of plum lip stain.
The jersey knit shirt: comfortable, machine-washable, wrinkle-free, simple neck, good under a cardigan when cold. Check! I got it from Downeast Basics (I just found their clothes and love them).
Trouser jeans: comfortable, machine-washable, wrinkle-free. Check! These are KUT brand from Nordstrom. I’m short so I had to have them hemmed (free at Nordstrom when you buy them full price). These jeans weren’t expensive either, wooo! Another bonus is the denim is stretchy and soft. So, they hug my curves and I can bend, run, sit on the floor and they feel nice. They don’t dig into my skin or feel stiff at all.
Shoes: The yellow ones are old. They were from the Gap. The platform wedges are new and from Aerosoles.
Yellow Belt: Banana Republic
Chunky Bracelet: Coach (a gift!)
That’s it! I hope you liked my first little style post. I didn’t study fashion. I’m just a graphic designer who likes color. I’m a regular gal who has real life fashion issues. I’m not trying to create a style statement or win a fashion award. Obviously. I’m simply trying to look a little more together in my daily life so that I feel good. I feel more confident and happy when I feel like I look my best. And, let’s be honest, it can be fun to look sort of cute! (or at least dressed).
Do you have any style tricks you love?
P.S. Don’t make fun of me.
P.P.S. I’m sucking in my stomach like mad in all these pictures. I thought I’d pass out.
Mrs. Hide and Seek part 13 of 13
1. Role Play by Mrs. Hide and Seek2. The Birth by Mrs. Hide and Seek
3. The Birth, Part II by Mrs. Hide and Seek
4. A Nursery for Paige by Mrs. Hide and Seek
5. Big Girl Bed by Mrs. Hide and Seek
6. Little P's Big Girl Room by Mrs. Hide and Seek
7. What You Talkin' Bout? by Mrs. Hide and Seek
8. Playroom by Mrs. Hide and Seek
9. "Free Play" Used To Be Just Play by Mrs. Hide and Seek
10. Antepartum Depression by Mrs. Hide and Seek
11. Noah's Nautical Nest by Mrs. Hide and Seek
12. On Stay-at-Home Motherhood and Positivity by Mrs. Hide and Seek
13. Stay at Home Mom Style and Fashion by Mrs. Hide and Seek
olive / 63 posts
I literally laughed out loud at your second pps! I have similar rules and am tryin to pull myself out of the “jammies to daytime look”. It’s all about jersey knit dresses and cardigans. Also tying to find nursing friendly outfits and things that will work well for future pregnancies (we hope to have a large family!).
pomelo / 5178 posts
First of all, you’re adorable.
Secondly, thank you for this post! I do get dressed and semi-ready everyday, often looking like your second picture, because it seems like it takes too much effort to do anything else. I love the tips, though, and it’s so helpful to see specific styles that take exactly the same amount of time as my usual t-shirt and jeans, but look so much more put together. I’m so inspired!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
OMG, I am going to love this series. I am totally looking like your first picture half the time. (Except I don’t even bother with my glasses because I fall asleep in my contacts all. the. time.)
Those yellow shoes are too cute! And if anyone has the nerve to make fun of you, they don’t belong on here.
cherry / 111 posts
You look super cute!! I work at an office and my husband is constantly stopping me in the morning and telling me I have spit up on my shoulder. It doesn’t help that I have a huge baby gut left over. I feel like I have to readjust my whole wardrobe, but who has the time or money. My daughter loves playing with my make up bag- so I at least get make up on in the morning. And for good measure I try to throw on some quick lipstick in the car on the way to work, but 90% of the time- I am completely frumpy and undone.
grapefruit / 4649 posts
I love this! Your outfits look adorable and I can so relate to the frumpy phase. I don’t have a little one of my own yet but I am a nanny and it is sometimes hard to convince myself to “waste” a cute outfit when I won’t really see anyone all day (I dress nicer on days where we see people.) I feel better on the days I take the time to put on a nicer outfit and a minutes worth of makeup. Because of early mornings I often shower at night and then just straight iron my hair in the nothing which helps a lot!
pomegranate / 3716 posts
I love the word “schlump”!! DH and I use it all the time… probably because we “schlump” around all the time, even thought we don’t have kids yet (i.e. no excuse, yet)
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
Haha. Love the ending. I’m a fan of “dressy” sweatshirts — they’re great for upstate NY winters, but also super comfy. In my book, slapping on one of these with a pair of jeans and some mascara totally counts as dressing up:
http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=5783&vid=1&pid=290293022
http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/knitstees/sweatshirtsandcardigans/PRDOVR~99001/99001.jsp
When it’s warmer, I always feel more dressed up when I throw on a printed scarf with my t-shirts.
squash / 13764 posts
Lol, love your P.S.s
I am currently also at home waiting for LO to get here, and I know I’ll have to make a concerted effort to not fall into a style slump! Definitely agree with only machine washable items and things that can be worn during multiple seasons.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
OMG I just emailed a friend about this earlier today. I work from home, but Baby S goes to daycare and his daycare momma always has the most beautiful tunics on and just looks gorgeous every time she leaves the house – like to go to the park. So I have to put something other than PJ’s on to drop him off. But, when we walk the dog in the morning I always run into someone who has 3 or 4 times the number of kids, a school bus to meet and with a far more hectic life than my own and they always look fab! How do they do it!? I feel like if I have the Ergo on, no one will know I’m wearing the tank top I slept in and that yoga pants I traded my pj pants for just look sporty. I’m lying to myself. At least these new headbands I bought yesterday hide the crazy postpartum sprouts of hairs growing out of control at my hairline. And they look sporty, right?
honeydew / 7444 posts
I find that scarves always seem to dress up an outfit. Love this post
@Mrs. Yoyo: i’m pretty sure my optometrist is going to have some stern words for me the next time i go for my check up because i overwear my contacts!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@caffeinated: I seriously am lucky if I remember to take them out once a week. Thank goodness they are the breathable ones. Still, I know I am pushing the envelope!
bananas / 9973 posts
LOVE this post! Can’t wait or the rest of the series!
I’m still preggers and waiting for LO to come, but I’ve been a SAHW for a couple of years now and I often feel like what @Cole said: I don’t want to waste an outfit when I don’t see anyone. I also, like you, don’t want to spend the money on dry-cleaning anymore. Lululemon workout clothes and flip-flops are my regulars. I know that once LO gets here it will be even harder to motivate myself to look cute. I LOVE what just the touch of yellow did for your whole outfit and you are adorably cute!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
You are too cute! And look faboush! All of your PSs are hilarious
LOVE the yellow!
pea / 16 posts
Please keep these posts coming! And you’re adorable.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
You look great! I’m already feeling the schlump, at 8 months pregnant. It seems like a lifetime ago that I got dressed up, wore heels, and looked cute!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
you are hilarious! and adorable!
love this series! if i didn’t work, i can’t imagine i’d ever get out of elastic-waist pants…;)
and i have those same yellow flats!
cherry / 186 posts
ahh.. i am so stuck in the wahm fashion rut. I think these posts will start motivating me to try on pants that aren’t PJ material soon!
GOLD / pear / 1845 posts
Yes yes yes. Two babies in two years means that I’ve spent the past three years with a crazy fluctuating body. I’m trying very hard to figure out what’s in style that I like and what I can afford while I’m still losing weight. Trying not to spend the day in pajama pants and a nursing tank.
pomegranate / 3160 posts
Baahaahah, I died at the P.P.S.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
Ahhh, you’re awesome. :D. Going to enjoy this series!
persimmon / 1026 posts
I’m so looking forward to more posts in this series!!! I totally look like picture #2 every weekday right now (I attempt to make a bigger effort on weekends when I know we’re going out and seeing people). I do the wet messy bun especially since I’m shedding like crazy due to the postpartum hair loss. I at least try to wear a cute headband or part my hair to the side
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
I so NEED this series. And if you provide links for all the great stuff I’ll seriously probably buy it all, lol. Plus I’m also short, so it’s nice to actually see a real person just like me. Thank you!
PS. Love your PPS
pomegranate / 3729 posts
I have been wearing yoga pants out far too often and as it gets colder I am sure that will switch to fleece. I can’t wait to read more posts like this one. Also, I LOVE yellow these days. I have a long yellow cardigan that makes me feel in style even when I am wearing it with yoga pants and crocs! Ha.
pomelo / 5866 posts
I really love your post, beginning to end of the end . You have such a conversational, best friend tone! Thanks for the real life advice!
pomegranate / 3595 posts
I really appreciate your honesty and willingness to put yourself out there. I work during the week but work with little kiddos so lots of jeans and tshirts. I feel like a schlump on the weekends too so I love your tips!
coffee bean / 38 posts
Hehe thank you for keeping it real with your P.P.S.!
@Mrs. Stroller: haha I hide under LO’s ring sling all the time! and I totally did not know there was such a thing as postpartum sprouts of hair.. no wonder my hairline has been so wonky lately!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
You look cute! I don’t know about you, but I find the casual look really difficult to pull off. I much prefer more tailored clothes, but I am not working in an office anymore…my new office is the park, the mall, playgroups and I am having a difficult time adjusting to the dress code!
guest
Omg! Me too! Keep the fashion coming!
GOLD / cherry / 182 posts
Love this post! I think all moms, not just SAHMs, fall prey to the not spending time getting ready. Thanks for the little ideas that make a huge difference!
GOLD / olive / 65 posts
Thanks everyone! I’m so glad you like the post!
Every time I looked for clothes ideas I only found stuff targeted for working outside the home or for an evening out. (lol) And they were always dry-clean only. Sigh. Hopefully we can inspire each other!!
guest
I love this post. I have struggled with what I look like since my son is born. I feel like I look frumpy and messy. I need inspiration!