First, let’s pause to knock on wood. *knock knock* I have a rock star sleeper. I kept it secret for the first few months; I didn’t want to make any enemies and I certainly didn’t want to jinx our good fortune. Before Baby Stroller was born, sleep, or lack thereof, was my biggest new-mom concern. I was downright afraid I’d never sleep well again. But a funny thing happened after Baby Stroller arrived: he slept, and we did too. Don’t get me wrong, I was exhausted for a few weeks even though I took the advice of thousands (millions??) and napped when he napped.
We followed the advice of two friends with awesome sleepers, the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD, and the experts at Moms on Call. Then at 3 weeks something amazing happened — Baby Stroller slept 7 hours straight. Then he slept 9. And he never went back.
Every baby is different and there’s certainly no one-size-fits-all way to help a baby become a good sleeper, but this is what worked for us (this time around at least!)
Eat
Babies need a certain number of ounces of breast milk or formula in a given 24-hour period. Baby Stroller is an exclusively breastfed baby, so when he was wee and after my milk had come in, he needed 19-30 ounces of breast milk in a 24 hour period. I preferred if he took that milk in during the day, so during the first couple months, during the day I nursed him every 2 – 3 hours. I nursed every time he was fussy and didn’t ever let him go longer than 3 hours (measured from the start of a nursing session), even if it meant waking him from a nap. I followed a wake-change-nurse-play (very short play usually)-sleep schedule.
Don’t be all concerned that your baby isn’t getting enough milk because you don’t know the precise number of ounces consumed when your baby nurses. Your body was made to feed your baby, and if you’re nursing frequently, in all likelihood they’re getting enough.
Nearly all babies have a “witching hour,” which in our case was witching hourS, every night. Baby Stroller’s witching hours were from 11pm-1am in the beginning. There is really nothing you can do about witching hours. Just prepare for it, hunker down with a good movie or your iPhone and let the baby nurse, nurse, nurse. Baby S slowly moved his witching hour earlier and earlier as the weeks went on. By the time he was about 8 weeks old, there wasn’t much witching anymore.
In addition to nursing frequently during the day, we gave Baby S a top-me-off bottle every evening at bed time. This meant that I had to pump once a day so as to have milk to give him in the evening. Each morning I pumped one side while he nursed on the other (it’s when my breasts were the fullest) and saved the milk for the evening. After nursing after our bedtime routine, Mr. S would give Baby S a small bottle of expressed milk – starting at 10-30ml via a syringe during the first few weeks and eventually working up to two ounces via bottle. I’d scurry off to bed as soon as I finished nursing and Mr. S would put the baby to bed after he finished the bottle and he’d rocked/jiggled per the Happiest Baby on the Block.
Environment
We wanted Baby Stroller to learn night from day so despite having black-out shades, we left the curtains open during his daytime naps. At night we pulled them shut so it was pitch dark in his room. During all his sleeps, naps and night time, we use a white noise machine. It runs continuously (no timer) and is nice and loud. In the beginning it sounded like the womb; now it drowns out other noises in the house.
Routine
Every single night since Baby S was two weeks old we’ve done the same bedtime routine. Bath à tight, tight swaddle, a milk bottle, and bed with LOUD white noise. We dropped the swaddle at 5.5 months and the bottle around 8 months when he was more interested in grabbing and throwing it on the floor, but everything else remains the same.
I nursed on demand when Baby Stroller was new; when he was 2 weeks old we started to see a routine emerge. By 4 weeks things were definitely more predictable. The Moms on Call were super helpful in helping us establish a schedule. I highly recommend them – especially for moms of twins – they’re twin experts!
According to the notepad on my phone, around 2-3 weeks a day would look like this:
7:00 am – wake & nurse
8:00 am – sleep
10:00 am – nurse
11:00 am – sleep
12:30 pm – nurse
1:30 pm – sleep
3:30 pm – nurse
4:30 pm – sleep
6:30 pm – nurse
7:00 pm – short nap in swing
8:30 pm – bath time begins
9:00 pm – swaddle very tightly (arms only, make sure hips are free to move)
9:00 pm – nurse
9:45 pm – top-me-off bottle
10:00 pm – bed with a loud white noise machine
When we put him down for bed sometimes we’d have to let him fuss for a few minutes ‘til he fell asleep – never more than one or two minutes and never all-out crying.
~2:00 am – nurse – we always waited for Baby S to fully wake up before getting him. Sometimes he’d just make noises in his sleep, but not wake up. When I nursed him it was always in the dark using just a little flashlight to see what I was doing. I kept him swaddled (although some babies can’t nurse very well when swaddled because they use their arms to navigate the breast) and only changed his diaper if it was dirty, not wet.
Baby Stroller dropped the middle of the night nursing at 3.5 weeks, but the rest of the day essentially stayed the same. When I went back to work at 12 weeks, Baby Stroller was taking two naps a day and a short cat nap in the evening. He would get fussier and fussier as the evening went on and by 14 weeks he’d dropped the evening catnap and we started to push his bath time earlier and earlier. At 12 weeks he was taking a bath at 7:30pm. At 6 months it was 6:30pm, at 7months 6pm and by 8 months bath started at 5:30. Now at one year bath is no later than 5:30 and he’s sound asleep by 6pm.
Attitude
Above all else, I think having an attitude of acceptance is the most important. When I accepted that my baby would be fussy for several hours every evening during his witching hours, it stopped causing me stress. I hunkered down with my phone and google reader and nursed. At four months when he hit the four month sleep regression and started taking 20 minute naps, I let go of what I couldn’t control and just waited things out. I rocked him to sleep and just held him and enjoyed those few quiet minutes. I also got really good at putting him down and eating breakfast, throwing laundry in, showering and getting dressed in 20 minutes!
At 4am when Baby S was brand new, a girlfriend told me that nothing lasts forever and it really resonated with me. Those middle of the night feedings will not last forever, the 20 minute micro-nap stage won’t last forever, and 14 hour long night sleeps won’t last forever either.
How did you raise a good sleeper?
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Attitude of Acceptance. I like that and that’s what we have, as well.
We’re currently going through a regression so….I can just say I’m so jealous of your sleep situation!
I trust her though, I know she will get back to waking just one time a night. She’s growing right now, that’s my explanation for her constant need to nurse.
I also wish we could push her bedtime up so she’s sound asleep by 6pm but sometimes we’re not home by then. Gah! We have a great routine of 7pm bedtime, though and it works great for us. We may try eeking it back to 6:30 in the next few months.
grapefruit / 4669 posts
I’m coming back to this in a couple of months–I want a rock star sleeper! And I will keep in mind that nothing lasts forever as I count down to the end of this pregnancy and moving on to the next stage.
pomegranate / 3053 posts
Wow, I did what you did except the pumping (stopped at two weeks) and middle of the night feeding. I did it with my oldest until he stopped nursing at 8 months; and am still doing it with my second. I wake them to nurse and they don’t have any problems going back to sleep. For me, routine worked really well with my boys. They are both (knock on wood) good sleepers. My youngest doesn’t nap as long but he is not super fussy when he doesn’t so I’m okay with it. I believe setting up a good routine is key to having a good sleeper. But, of course, every child is different and maybe our kids just work well with the schedules we’ve set for them. I am very thankful every day for good sleep. Now how to get myself to sleep earlier is another story!!!!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@erwoo: I am the WORST at putting myself to sleep too!
nectarine / 2964 posts
@Mrs. Stroller: You are way too lucky. We have a great sleeper too but not like yours (He woke up, usually once, between 2-4am to feed until 7 months – then he stopped and started sleeping through the night).
What I want to know is, how did you sleep through the night yourself when your baby slept through the night at 3.5 weeks? At 3.5 weeks I was crazy engorged (back then he was still waking 2-3 times a night), and if he didn’t wake up, I’d be holding the pump looking at him wondering if I should pump or if I should wait. Argh! I am so glad that those days are over.
But then even now at 10 months, I still would naturally wake up in the middle of the night, say 5am, because subconsciously I was “mentally prepared” for him to cry so I go get a bottle for him. Sigh!
coffee bean / 41 posts
I just bookmarked this post for (hopefully) future reference!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
My LO is 3 months and I’ve been having such a hard time with her sleep schedule, it’s stressful! She isn’t a bad napper during the day (as in falling asleep on her own), but they are pretty short naps. She also acts super tired around 6pm and its hard to know if that’s bed time or a cat nap time…according to your schedule, it very well could be a cat nap…but I’m hoping to drop that in a few weeks like you did.
coconut / 8299 posts
Dream feeds worked wonders for both of my kids!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
Ooohhh! Super helpful post. I’ve never heard of Moms on Call but will definitely check it out.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@irene: I got mastitis twice!! My midwife told me not to wake up and pump and that my body would get used to it. So I didn’t but oh my goodness, I definitely needed to pump one side in the morning after he nursed ASAP.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@Mrs. Blue: I think two of the mom consultants (the founders) each have a set of twins and one of them may have two sets!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Yay for great sleepers! DD has always been pretty good and I got her on a schedule from a few weeks old as well.
One question, has baby Stroller learned how to put himself to sleep? Just wondering if/when he was able to go to sleep if you put him in his crib drowsy, but awake.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@Andrea: Yes, when he was 3.5 and went through the 4 month sleep regressions I started putting him down for naps awake and he’d fall asleep. He was swaddled at night, but not for naps then. This summer from about 6.5-8.5 months he always went down awake, I wouldn’t even call it drowsy. He got a second wind while nursing and would play with his toys and roll around. He was learning how to crawl and used to spend up to an hour practicing and playing. He never cried, he just played then when he was done he got cozy with his lovey and fell asleep. Now when I put him down sometimes he’ll pop up into a sitting position and I just don’t make eye contact and continue out of the room. He crawls around a little, but gets cozy and falls asleep. Sometimes he wakes up during a nap and plays then falls back to sleep too, so I try to give him a few minutes before I go to get him in the morning and after naps.
guest
Thanks for writing this!
I am curious, however, to see if anyone has a good sleeper without using white noise? We use a fan in baby’s room– it helps block out outside noise, but I really wish that we didn’t have to– in my mind, it would be great if baby could sleep through any outside noise. Anyone?
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@Jude: Maybe someone can chime in. Of 7 or 8 friends who I can think of off the top of my head, all of them use some kind of white noise. Two of them use big box fans and everyone else has a white noise machine. It’s not really about blocking out the outside noise when they’re really small, it’s about mimicking the soothing noise of the womb, ditto the swaddle.
Just one thought re: your goal to get baby to sleep through outside noise – do you sleep well through outside noise? I am constantly asking Mr. S to turn the TV down if I go to bed before him, and any little noise wakes me up at night. I can fall back to sleep, but it’s still a disruption. If your LO is going to sleep much earlier than you, then there’s even more household noise going on. Just a thought!
guest
So much great information! I’m curious what white noise machine you recommend?
kiwi / 525 posts
No white noise in this house. I was terrified that if we started with something like that they’d never learn to sleep without it. My girls are nearly 7 months old now and they sleep pretty much from 7.30 to 7.30 and I’m sure if I was more organised with the routine they’d sleep longer, even.
When they were only a day or two old dh was looking at them, wondering if they were deaf. It didn’t seem to matter if either was crying or indeed other babies on the hospital ward, they woke when they felt like it themselves. They’re still the same. Evelyn loves her sleep- she actually smiles when I put her in the cot in the evening. Sive is more like her daddy, full of beans and gets cross when tired. I put them down for a nap together in the pack n play the other day and it was so cute. Evelyn was tired so she nodded off straight away. Sive was restless so she rolled around a bit, then turned around to face Evelyn and roared right into her ear – as if to say, Wake up, I want to play!! Evelyn just blinked and turned her head away.
They sleep through all sorts here now. The thing most likely to wake them is our pup- when he hears anything outside, he has this great deep boom of a bark. But they usually give a little startled jump, blink and straight back to sleep. Lucky me:)
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Wow, thanks for this advice! I want to try the bottle before bedtime.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Also, maybe I missed this, did you have him in his room in a crib or did you use a bassinet?
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@kml636: We had him in the bassinet attachment to his bumbleride stroller in our room for two weeks. Then we moved him to his nursery in the same bassinet, but placed inside his cradle. At 16ish weeks we put the bassinet away and just used the cradle. At 6 months and a few days we moved him to a crib.
I would have kept him in our room longer, but I was reacting to every little noise he made and then laying there awake waiting to see if he was going to wake up. We moved him and everyone slept better. However, his room is literally six feet away from ours, it’s a small house
nectarine / 2192 posts
Thanks for a great post!
guest
@mrs.stroller: A friend said as much– some people are just light sleepers, and I should remember that when addressing my child’s sleep needs. I guess I am a little jealous of a few of my friends who have really great sleepers, and don’t have to use white noise– but they also have multiple children, and my theory is that their babies have grown used to noise in the house. Our house is generally quiet, so I think any random loud noises stand out.
@AuntPol: Lucky! It’s so cute that they can nap together
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
Wow! You have an *Awesome* sleeper! I’m a wee bit jealous!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
@Mrs. Stroller: I’m rereading this as I used the moms on call video and book to get my LO to sleep through the night at 9 weeks. She’s now 15 weeks and I’m so scared to use the MOC method of weaning them off swaddle and paci at night… I see you stopped swaddling at 5.5 months, did you follow the MOC method or did you do it on your own? Thanks !!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@kml636: I weaned from the swaddle for naps at 4m (he wasnt napping more than 20min at a time regardless) but not from the paci. We ditched the swaddle buy trying to put him down at bedtime without it, giving him an hour or so to fall asleep and if he wouldn’t I’d go up and swaddle again. Then I’d try two weeks later. At 5.5m he was just ready and fell asleep without it no problem. As for the paci, it just works for us so we use it in the crib and car only. I don’t see any harm in it so I’m not too fanatical about getting rid of it. Good luck!!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
@Mrs. Stroller: yeah, whatever works. thanks!
nectarine / 2192 posts
Bookmarking for later. Thanks!
guest
My daughter loved her swaddle but when she was about 3 1/2 months, we knew that we had to wean her off of the swaddle because she was breaking out of it too easily. I looked online and soon after found the Zipadee-Zip and it really is great for swaddle transitions! My LO feels comforted and soothed by the resistance the Zippy provides and sleeps longer.