When picturing myself as a mother I always imagined that I would breastfeed our children. I had always heard that “breast is best” and knew that breatmilk has been the ideal form of nutrition since the beginning of time. But, when we chose adoption as the route to build our family I assumed that they would be formula-fed. I didn’t know there was another option!
But miraculously a couple of months before we were matched with Little Piñata, I found the blog of another adoptive mom that had breastfed her two sons! I couldn’t believe it and had never heard of induced lactation before. The idea was really intriguing to me and I was really attracted to it. I began researching and discovered that with the help of prescription medication (such as Domperidone) and herbs (like Fenugreek) and consistent pumping, it IS possible to produce breastmilk, even without a previous pregnancy!
I actually added a breast pump to our registry that we started when we became home study approved. But I didn’t think I was up to pumping without having an official match. So I decided that once we were matched, I would begin pumping every few hours and would talk to my doctor about what supplements I should take. Well of course nothing ever goes according to plan. We were chosen by a birth mother that was due in just 3 weeks, and she gave birth just a week later before we even got a chance to meet her. So there was truly no time to pump ahead of time!
Thankfully, my research also led me to investigate donated breastmilk. I had recently learned that infants (and toddlers too) can drink breastmilk from other women besides their moms. Of course I had always heard of wet nurses, but I figured that idea didn’t really exist anymore, but it (kind of) does. I found websites where women were selling their milk for as much as $5/oz! I was also connected with Human Milk 4 Human Babies. This organization connects women with extra breastmilk with those looking for breastmilk for their babies for whatever reason (adoption, low supply, etc.).
I posted a need on our state’s HM4HB site and was quickly contacted with a couple of local moms! On the day Little Piñata was born, a mother about 15 miles away offered 100 ounces of milk, so off we drove to meet her and get our first milk donation. This mama was so kind and sweet and offered us the biggest congratulations. We also met her husband and sweet baby girl. She told me that newborns take about 15 oz a day, so I was thrilled that it seemed like this milk would last about a week!
Early the next morning we drove 3 hours to the city where Little P was born. It was a complete whirlwind of a day! When we got back to our hotel that night, I had a voicemail from another mom that had seen our post on the Human Milk 4 Human Babies site. She wanted to donate 1,500 ounces of breastmilk! I was completely amazed as this gift was more than I ever could have imagined! It turns out this mom did A LOT of pumping to get ready for her return to work. However, she had the lipase enzyme in her milk so when she thawed her milk, her baby wouldn’t take it. She was planning to donate to a national “milk bank,” but saw our post about adopting our son, was moved and called me! Of course I called her back immediately. She lived about 25 miles from us, so we agreed to meet up once we got back into town (and I had a chance to process the fact that there would be a baby living in our house!).
I couldn’t believe it! Just a month earlier I had NO idea that we would soon be parents. And even more shocking was the realization that through the gifts of these two amazingly generous women, our son would have the gift of breastmilk for the first weeks and maybe even months of his life! A gift that I was unable to give him. How humbling to bring home a baby that you didn’t give birth to and to feed him milk that you didn’t produce. Yet, he is still your son. Wow. Even more amazing are the details that came together in the coming days. But, I’ll have to share all those details in Part 2.
I know everyone’s journey of infant nutrition is so unique. There are many beautiful and also difficult journeys with breastfeeding, formula, etc. Has anyone else had experiences with donated breastmilk as a recipient or as a donor? Or have any adoptive moms that tried induced lactation?
pear / 1586 posts
How amazing! I had never heard of that before. I am so glad you were able to meet with those generous women to help provide for your handsome boy.
grapefruit / 4923 posts
what a lovely story. so glad you were able to find such generous women.
but also–1500 oz! holy moly!!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
That is so great.
And I can’t even wrap my head around 1,500ozs
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
I looked into this when I was struggling with feeding Drake but never look that far in
1,500 ozs I cant process that either
What a great story
guest
My sister adopted a little boy on 7/19. She had about 5 weeks notice. She has had no fewer than 5 women offer to donate milk, including myself (I gave birth 3/19). It has been my absolute pleasure to “feed” my nephew and give him one of the greatest gifts of all.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
We were able to use donated milk until 7 weeks. It was the greatest gift, and most generous thing ever. I’m so glad you were able to as well!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I’m so glad you’re able to use donated milk!!!
I donated the leftover stash I had to a mom who uses an SNS to feed. She was never able to produce milk but wanted her baby to know the feeling of breastfeeding. So, she puts the baby to her breast and the SNS sends the milk down.
I never even thought about how donated breastmilk could be helpful to others before I had a baby and started breastfeeding. I think it is amazing that you are using donated milk for your adopted baby. 1500 ounces!?!? Wow. There are some truly wonderful people out there.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Always great to see moms helping moms.
pomelo / 5628 posts
I’ve donated to four different people now. It’s nice to be able to help! I don’t think breast milk should be sold to individuals, but I also do support some of the banks that make human milk fortifier through donated BM. It helped my preemie grow when he was in the NICU and costs a ton to make.
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
That is amazing. What a generous gift!
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
That is wonderful. I was lucky that I had a freezer stash to draw upon. I did write a blog post on induced lactation.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
I didn’t have a huge freezer stash once Olive decided she was done with bottles for good. Maybe 15-20 bags or so, but I donated it to a local gay couple who were adopting. I wish I could have given more!
1500oz is incredible!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
I know! I KNEW it was an amazing stash from the beginning, but I didn’t know HOW amazing it was until I talked with other friends that pumped. That’s one incredible mama.

And @Mrs. Green Grass, @MediaGirl & @Mrs. Bee- That’s so wonderful that you donated! I’m sure it was MUCH appreciated by the moms and babies you donated to.
And I agree- it was very strange to think of paying for breastmilk. It didn’t seem quite so trustworthy that way.
persimmon / 1420 posts
I have a friends, a gay couple, who are having twins via surrogate and are due right around the time my twins turn 1. I plan on donating my entire freezer stash to them, as well as pumping extra for a few months. We dealt with infertility, and they had to as well, since they couldn’t have babies without medical intervention. I think anything to make it easier on a couple that has already had a ton of stuff thrown at them is the least I can do.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
So amazing. I wish that more people knew about, or were more receptive, to donated milk.
coffee bean / 32 posts
Wow, wonderful! I have a ton of frozen milk in my freezer and now that my baby is one, I don’t really have a need for it. I will look into donation. Thank you!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@KML626- I totally agree! Our pediatrician was pretty weirded out by it at first! Even doctors aren’t that familiar with it!
@Accordingtolara I’m so glad you’re looking into donation. Yay!
guest
1500 ounces is INSANE. I donated 60 through Eats on Feets, and that was hard for me to surrender!
apple seed / 2 posts
Thank you so much for this post! I have been meaning to look into ways in which I can donate milk (I’ve been blessed with an oversupply), and this was a good reminder to put it back on my to do list! I immediately checked out the link you provided and have already been connected with a number of local mommies who need the milk! THANK YOU!