At least, that is what I was always told. I heard countless stories from friends about how the only way to get their newborn to sleep was to go for a car ride.
And then my baby arrived. And guess who hated car trips? Yeah, this guy right here:
A rare sleeping-in-the-carseat moment after visiting the ocean for the first time at 4 months old. As a side note: yes we adjusted his chest strap before we started driving!
He would scream and thrash so badly during even 10-15 minute trips that I spent much of the first 6 months at home because I dreaded going anywhere. I specifically remember this one time I needed to go grocery shopping and I went to a specialty store 30 minutes away. He screamed so hard the way home that I stopped five times to try and soothe him, nurse him, get him to fall asleep etc, and nothing worked. I was crying just as much as he was because I couldn’t bear it! In fact, this sour attitude and general loathing of car trips/car seats lasted until he was well over a year old. This is how we handled it:
From months 0-6, I did avoid car trips alone. If Mr. Pen and I were going somewhere together, it was easier to combat the inevitable scream-fest if I was able to sit in the back with J. I would often pump before we left or right away in the car so that I had a fresh bottle for him and that would always soothe him. I actually started keeping a small electric pump with extra batteries in the car just so that I would always be able to pump. Giving him a bottle was also the only way he would fall asleep in the car, as he nursed to sleep until he was 6 months old.
I started to plan doing errands such as grocery shopping as weekend trips because I would have Mr. Pen’s help. During the week if I needed to get out, I would strap J into the beco baby carrier and take a walk. At the time we lived within walking distance of a few shops so that was my relief from the house without having to deal with emotional breakdowns (both baby and myself).
Once he was 4 months, J became more interested in toys and books and would cry less when we entertained him in the back seat, but he still was not independent enough to play on his own. His favorite toys for 4 months+ were his Skip Hop cloth book, Animal Planet owl, Indestructibles book and random hanging toys from his play gym.
As his sight got better he realized he could see us in the front seat from the mirror on the back seat. This then became part of many games we would play. In the passenger seat looking back at him, we would play peek a boo, sing songs and hold hands. Although it wasn’t a cure-all; once he hit 6 months and realized we were there and he could see us, it became easier. Not perfectly ideal, but easier.
As a toddler he naps much better in the car!
As a Toddler
This is when it got easier, not because his attitude changed, but because he became more alert, aware and engaging. Once he was about a year old, I started doing more things outside the home with him. He slowly acclimated up to 15-20 minutes in the car without tears.
We have started to keep a small toy and book collection in the car. He gets excited being in the car when he sees that his special “car-only” toys are there for him. These are only toys that he gets to play with when we are driving. His favorites are his play phone, animal picture book, toy piano, and his My Little Word Book. What I like about these toys is that the noise toys aren’t very loud, they are easy for him to operate on his own and they are (somewhat) educational as well as fun for him.
In addition to car-only toys, we keep car-only snacks on hand. He only gets puffs and food pouches in the car. He loves both and it’s a nice way to break up a car trip.
For longer car trips, I pack him a lunch. If Mr .Pen is with me, I can spend a good half hour chunk of time feeding him a meal in the backseat.
Although I do try to limit screen time, our iPhones have come to the rescue more than once during car rides. I made a youtube playlist of mostly Laurie Berkner and Elizabeth Mitchell music videos that Jacobi loves. He isn’t all that interested in TV shows unless they are music-heavy. He could sit and watch this playlist over and over again if we allowed it. For longer trips this playlist will entertain him for however long we need. For future road trips/plane trips, we do plan to purchase a DVD player along with the Laurie Berkner DVD’s.
Once he hit about 15 months we reached a turning point: he realized that a car was a means to an end. It was like a light switching on in his brain that was so visible to me, it was amazing to watch the transformation. He realized that if he spent a relatively short amount of time in the car, he would go somewhere new and fun. He is 17 months now and let me just say that I can finally breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy taking him places!
We can now depend on him napping in the car if we go somewhere at nap time and pack his blanket and pacifier. And we do still keep his toys in the car as a way to keep him content for as long as possible. The journey to this point was not easy and ridden with a lot of guilt and feeling like I was doing something wrong, or guilt over taking him in the car when I knew he hated it. It’s easier now to talk him through his car meltdowns than it was a year ago. I will end this post by saying that I’m so happy we’re over that 12-15 month car-loathing phase!
His preferred method of transportation
Did your baby like the car? Or did he/she detest it as my child did?
pomegranate / 3401 posts
My DD LOVES the car! The only tricky part is getting strapped into the carseat….she doesn’t like that part very much!
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
This gives me some hope- C hates the car and will only sleep in it once she has totally exhausted herself screaming.
kiwi / 673 posts
@Foodnerd81: That’s how mine was.
LO hated the car for the first few months, but is more okay with it now atn8 months. He will sometimes nap really well in the car now. We switched to a convertible seat, which helped, and also have some car specific toys. For long trips (3+ hours), he often naps for a good portion of the trip now. It’s a far cry from the 4 hour solo road trip I took with him at 4 months for a family function, where he just cried himself out. Life got so much easier once he began being okay with the car!
honeydew / 7504 posts
D also hated the car for the first 4 months or so. Paci, blanket, and blaring white noise is the only thing that kind of helped. Now, at 8 months, he sits in the back and talks to himself and plays. SO much better!
squash / 13764 posts
My LO hates the car! He’s 10.5 months old and I’m usually stuck in the backseat trying to entertain him…the only thing that helps is blasting his CDs from music class on repeat. I hope he grows out of it as well!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@hilsy85: My nephew had the same issue and hated the car, and he outgrew it around 8-9 months – so I thought my kid would too! but nope! Took another 6 months
It is rough!
@Foodnerd81: so sad!!!! but I’m with you there. Ugh it’s so hard.
blogger / persimmon / 1231 posts
We have had a similar experience, at 8 months she doesn’t mind it. We just moved from Seattle to Monterey though…that 15 hour drive was not fun! I’m so glad he does great in the car for you now, I’m looking forward to that!
@Mrs. Pen: which bike seat is that? Like it? Hoping to get one
pomegranate / 3414 posts
Both DD and DS loved the car, but I know we got lucky. Because my family lives 3hrs away they both started going on trips at an early age which I think really helped.
kiwi / 500 posts
My boy hates the car. He cries terribly, I avoid car trips
As much as possible. He’s almost 10 months and I’m starting to see that he’s slowly coming around. He can handle a 10-15 min car ride without much of a meltdown. Nothing soothes him either when he starts up!
nectarine / 2054 posts
DS is neutral about the car (we don’t have a car though, so we’re always next to him in the backseat in taxis) – thank goodness he doesn’t hate it, though, as we just had two 5-hour car journeys as part of the vacation we just returned from! That wouldn’t have been fun.
nectarine / 2274 posts
I hope we get our “break” soon, at 13 months, he still hates the car with a passion.
guest
Thanks for sharing your stories. My lo also didn’t love the car (and at six months, it’s still touch-and-go), but I attributed part of the cause to me – I HATE the car! Ditto question to sparks above – what bicycle seat is that? I love the handlebars! I’ll start a craigslist search to get one for next summer!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
it gets better as they get older. charlie hated the car until he was over 2 when we could reason with him, and when he started getting into videos.
olive hates the car at 22 months.
bananas / 9357 posts
He hated the car until he was around 4/5 months. I hardly ever went anywhere by myself because it was hard hearing him scream in the backseat. I did the same thing of pumping a bottle before we left; it was the only way to get him to sleep. At around 4/5 months, something changed, and he’s been a breeze to take places ever since (He’s 10.5 months now).
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@Sparks: @SJ: it is the Giant brand. http://www.giant-bicycles.com/en-us/gear/product/progeny.bs.2.child.carrier/548/25022/
We like it alright. It was $50 at the local bike shop here so for the price it’s good! I wish it had more padding (he has cried going over a big bump before), and a safer harness. I had really liked the look of the britax seat!
Oh and yes he loves his handlebars!