The first thing that Mr. Jacks said when I told him about possibly adopting Jack Jack’s sibling, “Well, it’s too bad we can’t do it!” When I asked why not, he said very practically, “Because we don’t have a car that can hold 3.”

Of course we decided that we could overcome that obstacle, but I do feel like the debate about vehicles suitable for three children rages throughout Mommy-land. People seem to fall into one of two categories: mini-van people and I would never be caught dead in a mini-van people. I fall squarely in the latter category. My husband, on the other hand, has been gunning for a mini-van since Little Jacks was born. “So practical,” he says.  “What’s not to love about them?” he says.

Mr. Jacks and I started doing research on the 3 car seat dilemma a long time ago when we were still toying with the idea of adding to our family.  Ultimately, the challenges we faced were enough to put “car” on the con list of having another baby. I didn’t really enjoy thinking through the process and we couldn’t seem to agree on approach, let alone a car. It’s no wonder that Mr. Jacks called vehicle issues a deal killer in pursuing this adoption.

We found a number of resources showing how people configure their three car seats in a variety of cars. The overwhelming chorus is, “I got them in, but it wasn’t easy!”  Still, it was enough to give me hope!

Another alternative that you all reminded me of when first blogging about this adoption was that instead of finding a new car, we could look for new car seats that would better fit in our existing cars. The Diono Radian R120 seems to be the go-to car seat for fitting 3 kids across one bench seat, and it gets great performance and safety reviews. Unfortunately, even with 2 Radians, our Britax infant carrier wasn’t going to fit easily into the Audi Q5. Luckily, we thought we could make it work in our beloved (but ancient) Toyota 4Runner. I could wax poetic about my trusty 4Runner. He’s never once broken down on the road. He’s carried me all over the country and to countless snowboarding adventures. He’s seen almost all of my major life events and hasn’t complained about them. He’s got 200,000 miles on him, but runs wonderfully. Maybe we could make it our default car for transporting the children?

ADVERTISEMENT

So it seemed like our 3 options were:

  • Choose a car or SUV that can adequately fit 3 car seats
  • Succumb to the mini-van
  • Switch out all the car seats to ones with smaller footprints and use the 4Runner as our primary family mode of transportation.

SUV

When thinking through the pros and cons of the various options, we recognized that cars and SUVs that easily fit 3 car seats tend to have poorer gas mileage/bigger carbon footprint. They rely on third row seating that works for small children, but is less comfortable for older kids and adults. Most of the reports I’ve read about getting the 3 children buckled into the seats involves a little bit of struggle. A friend who has a Volvo XC90 says that she has to budget about 15 minutes to get her 4.5 year old, 2 year old and 7 month old in the car. Despite these drawbacks, there was major appeal in the fact that these were not mini-vans (keeping my sense of self intact!), and we wouldn’t have to sacrifice performance for practicality. Most were outfitted for easy winter driving with 4 wheel drive. This is a factor in our climate and with the types of winter activities we participate in.

Minivan

The evil minivan, in contrast, is apparently THE practical choice. I’ve read blog post after blog post from anti-minivan people who eventually gave in and wondered why they had held out for so long. They were converts and prophets for the minivan lifestyle. I hated them for all their logic and sense-making. I wanted to hear all about the horrible drawbacks of the minivan. But instead, I was tortured with their good gas mileage, ease of loading and unloading children, the wonders of the DVD system, the massive amount of storage, the touch opening and closing all the doors, let alone the remote door opening and start options. Moms shared stories about being able to load the neighborhood kids into the minivan for playdates and practice. They exploded my prejudices about minivan performance, describing the wonders of V6 engines and front wheel drive. Seemed like an oxymoron to me, but they swore it wasn’t! After searching high and low for minivan cons, I did find a couple. Their size makes them bulkier to park in a garage and they lack eye appeal. Despite their front wheel drive, most don’t offer an AWD or 4 Wheel Drive option. So take that, minivans!

Change the car seats, keep the cars

This option is the path of least resistance for us.  We have a major short-term cash flow problem as we enter into a second adoption. New car seats would set us back minimally compared to a new car. We love our cars and would prefer to use this option  The major drawback is that the 4Runner doesn’t get great gas mileage anymore. Instead of getting mid 20’s like he did in his best years, we’ve dipped into the mid-teens. I don’t blame him. He’s done his best! Another issue was needing to use seat belts instead of the LATCH system to secure the children, but with the base on the Britax infant seat, we wouldn’t have to buckle and unbuckle the infant carrier every time.  We thought it could bridge us for a while until we achieve new balance in our budget. Problem solved!

Until… a few days into the decision making process (seriously, just our luck in 2014– anything that can go wrong will), we detected a big oil leak in our old dear old friend. And we found out that after 200,000 amazing miles, the clutch would need to be replaced too– in a car with a Kelley Blue Book value of around $1500. It was time to decide. Do we sink more money into our aging friend, or was he trying to tell us to fly, be free, and find more suitable transportation for our growing family?

Did you have to make tough transportation decisions when adding to your family?

To be continued…