It was a tale of two toddlers. One was curious but content, happy to cruise up and down the aisles with his mom as they popped into the grocery store to pick up a few items to fill the fridge. He explored with his eyes, and occasionally with his feet, but he stayed close to his mama and flirted with the aisle clerk when they checked out.
The other toddler – oh, that other toddler – he makes even the quickest errand a challenge. He despises the seat in the shopping cart, he wants to explore at his own pace, and he loves to deshelve anything that seems to be sitting in an orderly fashion on display. He wants what he wants, and oh, my, he is not shy about letting you know.
I’m sure you can guess – these two toddlers are one and the same: the first picture is that of my son at 17 months and the second, at 18 months.
Wearing a hat we had no intention of purchasing, running through the aisles of Target – hello toddlerhood! (And the Starbucks cup is good ‘ole H2O)
Before I ever had children, I would look at moms of toddlers in the grocery store and wonder why they couldn’t seem to keep their kids in check. And when Colin was a baby and in his earliest toddler months, I thought I had a better understanding – being a mom is hard! – but I was still able to view running errands as an easy option for finding something to do on days where we had been cooped up in the house. Sure, getting in and out of the car dealing with diaper bags and car seats and such made errands a bit slow going, but hey! it’s not like we were in a hurry.
Now, I get it. I tooooooooootally get it. Even with a well rested and well fed toddler, running a quick errand (happily, at least) is a thing of the past. Here is an example of a quick errand gone wrong.
This weekend, we went to Toys R Us because Colin received a gift certificate for Hanukkah, and I wanted to get him a small stuffed Elmo (since his obsession has recently skyrocketed, seemingly out of nowhere). We were in no hurry and he had just finished breakfast, so I thought this might be a peaceful trip. Of course, it started that way. Since I only intended to get an Elmo and maybe a book, I didn’t grab a cart. Once we found the aisle with the Sesame Street toys, Colin pulled the shelf at his height into a massive heap of a mess while I was reaching up for an Elmo doll. Ugh. As I tried to clean up his mess, instead of helping me per my request, he bolted. Fast. This boy should run track when he grows up, I am telling you.
Of course, since I am bigger than him, I quickly caught up and snapped him up, which had him profoundly offended. Cue the kicking. And the whining. I walked toward the front, ignoring his hysterics and heading toward the exit, and thankfully, he calmed down so I didn’t have to waste the schlep to the store. I should have known better, but I brought Colin and the soon-to-be-ours Elmo toy to the book aisle, where Colin discovered a collection of the world’s loudest and most annoying books with sound effects. If he would just pick one – whichever one – that would be fine, and we would head out. Go figure, my child wants every single book with a dog or train on the cover (read: all of them).
I did my best to explain that we had to pick one book (“come on buddy, this gift card is only $25, and you don’t need a zillion new books with sound effects”), picked up the next book he touched, and then carried him up front as he hollered “Thomas! Thomas!” all the way up to the register (apparently he wanted all three of the copies of the same book that I had in my hand – a Thomas book. Why, oh why did I ever let him watch one stupid episode of this show!? Now he can spot Thomas the Train anything from a mile away…but I digress).
We got to the register, where I tried to play as quickly as possible, and Colin terrorized a wrapping paper display during my two minutes of setting him down to pull the gift card out of my wallet. By the time we got settled back at our car, it had been over thirty minutes and my nerves were shot. All of this from what once would have been a ten minute errand – a peaceful way to get out of the house while Daddy was napping.
So, long story long, I guess you could say that I am in denial and slowly coming to terms with the paradigm shift that has occurred in our household. Gone are the days of the quick and peaceful errand. Of course, errands are still inevitable – we need to eat, and groceries don’t buy themselves. I will need to budget more time, amp up my patience level, steel my nerves and prepare myself for the battles to come (no, you can’t have that candy in the check out line, and yes, I will abandon the cart and take you home).
Toddler moms – any great tips for managing errands with a strong willed toddler? Anyone else out there going through this new fun phase?
pear / 1610 posts
This can totally be my son sometimes! The one thing I have found is that we can’t make an exception to using a cart. If we let him walk one time, the next few trips are terrible because he is throwing a huge fit as soon as we walk in the door because of sitting in the cart. We also started packing fun snacks for him while he is in the cart, usually smoothies :). I totally feel your pain though. My son is very stubborn and strong willed so we have our tantrums and disagreements a lot
It will get better someday, right?
guest
My little one is only 15(almost 16) Months and is already doing this! She is so independent and knows what she wants! I can’t let her out of the cart, even for a short errand, otherwise she will NOT get back in. I also pack snacks and actually try to go during Snack time, especially if its grocery shopping so that she has something to keep her occupied.
grapefruit / 4923 posts
argh. thanks for the preview, i am not looking forward to this! on the bright side, isn’t it great how much colin is enjoying life and finding fascination with everything?
olive / 64 posts
We have 1 grocery store that has special toddler carts. The seat is still up by the cart handle but they sit facing forward (back to you) and there is a pretend stearing wheel so it’s like they r driving a car! Our Home Depot has them too. It’s the only cart my little man will sit in for longer than 3 min. I also let him eat whatever fruit I’m buying (or he sees and basically demands strawberries so he eats those while I shop). Target has become a nightmare, even just to stop at the pharmacy. Trader Joes is rough too so sometimes I forgo the cart, pop him in the stroller and attach 2 reusable grocery bags to my Mommy Hook, load my bags up and get out. Just watch, if u get heavy stuff the weight can start to tip the stroller Ooops! Good luck! Just know there have been MANY times I’ve abandoned a cart and went home (treating myself to a Starbucks on the way). Our boys sound so similar. You are not alone!
squash / 13764 posts
This is my lo at 13 months! We went to target the other day and by the time we left I was as sweaty and exhausted as I I had just run 5 miles (which I may have, chasing after him in the aisles). Who needs a gym, just run some errands with a toddler!
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
Mine isn’t walking yet so quick errands are still doable, but what I miss is the long errand! I never get to buy everything at the grocery store that we need anymore, because he gets so bored so quickly and starts whining! I think once he is more mobile I will have to start doing big errands at night.
As far as our strategy, we switch it up but I still do a fair amount of baby wearing because it keeps him so close. I have no idea if that will still fly once he is walking but I figure I better keep us in the habit otherwise he will surely not be into it. I have noticed he does better once we have done something active, so like, go to the park, then go shopping, However, we are still having 65+ degree weather occasionally here, so that makes it a lot easier!
Are you planning to do a MMO or preschool at any point? I am for next fall so it is heartening to think, ok maybe if I can just adapt to the next few months, I will be at a point where I have a few uninterrupted hours….
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
@Theresa: same here! My stroller has a fairly large basket underneath so I can store things there and hook a bag on the handles.
blogger / nectarine / 2608 posts
Aw! Mr. T and I went on our first-ever post-Lorelei date and we went to a small museum. Even though we had agreed to not discuss the kids too much, we both turned to eachother within seconds of entering and said, almost simultaneously, “What a mess Lorelei would make of this place!” We joked for about two minutes about all the ways she would destroy the museum. They were legion.
You are completely and totally not alone! I refer to our workhorse wrap as, “toddler jail,” and sometimes I’ll wear Lorelei if she can’t safely be down. If she’s just going to be a toddler and it won’t hurt anything, I will usually just let her be. If it involves breakables (expensive, numerous, colorful, enticing breakables) she usually has to be in the wrap and won’t be too bothered because she knows that’s our routine. Ellie was like Colin #1 for her entire toddlerhood. Just gentle and reserved and cooperative and fabulous.
blogger / persimmon / 1231 posts
I feel like I’m getting a glimpse of our future…oh boy!
blogger / clementine / 998 posts
Hugs!
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Liam (20 months) is still not too crazy on errands, but it is definitely more challenging than it was a few months ago. I let him sit in the big part of the cart because he won’t sit in the seat and I can’t handle him running around everywhere. He’s recently been fighting the stroller, so last week I let him just walk through old navy and he was actually pretty good about following me, but he did take a few pants off of their hangers…
I definitely try to pick my battles. Luckily he doesn’t really know what candy is and is just as happy with the freeze dried fruit from starbucks, so I use things like that to keep him happy for a few minutes while I get my shopping done. And I go as fast as I can!
persimmon / 1095 posts
Not a mother yet so I may not know what I’m talking about…couldn’t you just leave the toy store and tell him he’s not getting anything since he’s misbehaving? This couldn’t work in all situations but since this was a non-urgent errand to just get a toy for him, you wouldn’t miss out on anything by leaving.
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
@alphagam84: I totally hear you, and in my pre-C days, I would totally think the same. And sometimes that’s exactly what I do. We nearly left, as I mentioned. But for situations where I drove all the way across town for something, even something non-essential, it mostly just drives me nuts to have to go back another time. And, if you subbed in “milk” for Elmo, and “cheese” for book, you’d have the exact same story for our regular grocery trips. I’m trying to use each errand as a “teaching opportunity” because if I just give up on taking him anywhere, I am assuming he will never learn or get any better. But yes, I totally hear you. In my mind, I was thinking “F*** Elmo, let’s just go.” This may not have been the best example for this post, but it was what was top of mind as I wrote.
@edelweiss: I love your outlook! It is truly amazing to watch the little light bulbs go off in their heads as they discover the world around them.
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
We just try and keep her strapped into her stroller as much as possible when we’re out
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Oh I totally understand where you are coming from. Drake takes forever to move around the stores these days if he isnt in the cart
grapefruit / 4923 posts
@Mrs. Confetti: too bad it’s so much easier said than done! i’m fairly positive i will *not* be standing in rapt wonder as my LO alternates between tearing through the aisles and studying every can of soup for a good long time. these days i get frustrated just going through squiggly diaper and clothes changes.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
Ooooh this sounds all too familiar. I have no tips for you as I’m struggling with the same thing right now.
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
Gemma has always been pretty good on errands.. I have always preoccupied her with snacks and drawing..LOL… I can sense her time limit approaching if I’m on a long errand and will have to wrap it up before things get too hectic.
Snacks have saved many errands for me.. those squeezable ones!
With two kids… even the most organized methodical trip to the grocery store is exhausting… ive turned to grocery delivery from vons and it.is.amazing!
I now only go on short errands with both girls and I wear Summer and Gemma goes in the cart most days.
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
We’ve all been there, mama! I usually find that yummy snacks do help, although they won’t always quell a tantrum waiting to happen.
cherry / 187 posts
Yup, been there done that! My daughter is now 28 months and we definitely have our moments when running errands. Sometimes she’s very cooperative and happy and others she’s running down aisles and adamantly refusing to sit in the cart! We do online grocery orders too as some others have mentioned to avoid the long grocery trip with a toddler (and will continue since bringing a toddler and soon to be newborn to the grocery store sounds like a rare form of torture!).
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Oh man, I feel ya!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
it gets better… but then you have a second and it gets way worse! i don’t dare run errands with both of them so they always get done while they’re in school.
i guess i can’t blame them. the world is so exciting and there is so much for them to see! touch! do! but i feel ya. even a quick errand can be a whole production!