I’ve always been an advocate of teaching children about independence, as it is something I value. At an early age, I tried to allow Gemma to try things on her own as much as she could. She’s quite the go-getter, so she tends to really want to push boundaries. Since Summer came along this past June, I have been reverting my mothering back to fit the needs of an infant and found Gemma pushing new boundaries of independence. Gemma’s need for new challenges has actually been helpful for our family dynamic. Allowing a slow pace to fit in more independence for her has been a key to finding a new balance of caring for both an infant and a toddler simultaneously. This balance is something I am still working on, but I think that we’ve made some good strides this year. Here are a few things that I allow her to learn and challenge herself with right now:

ADVERTISEMENT

1. Picking out her own clothes. This can be a bit torturous if you have to be some place with two kids in “x” amount of time. If I know time will be short in the morning, I pick out two outfits that could be somewhat mix and match and let her choose which shirt/pants/underpants/socks/shoes combo she wants. Each of these decisions takes time with my daughter but she gets a thrill out of it.

2. Creating a toddler drawer in the kitchen. I created a drawer for Gemma which holds plastic plates, cups, utensils that she can get for me as I am preparing meals. I also allow her to get her own water out of our fridge water dispenser by using her step stool. This is one of her favorite tasks to date.

3. Encouraging her to go to the potty on her own. This is something that is a huge work in progress. Of course she still needs help getting on the potty and getting through the task, but I prompt her to go to the actual bathroom in our home and turn on the light herself while I meet her there. I usually have to secure Summer to safely step away for a moment, so it takes me a minute. The little moment of Gemma being empowered to go to the bathroom and turn on the light is so helpful.

4. Climbing into the car herself. This is still a work in progress as well, but she is enjoying the new challenge. I open the door and stand there with Summer and give her a hand; sometimes she tells me she doesn’t need a hand, (*tear) but I still stand there just in case and to safely shut the door behind her.

5. I allow her to carry something of importance. For instance I let her be the keeper of the mail key when we walk to the mailbox. I can tell she feels so empowered and it melts my heart. She also really enjoys helping walk our dog for the same reason.

6. I allow her to choose the activity. Sometimes, I simply ask her what she’d like to play during her sister’s morning nap. This is so special for her because she is really imaginative, so she gets to exercise her play skills. Lately, she’s been wanting to be the teacher and play ballet class.

7. I give her the same task I have. At times that I really do need to do an adult task, like putting mail together or a package, I try to set her up with a mini version of what I am doing so she feels both independent and included in what I’m working on. I’ll give her envelopes and stickers or a box and a few packaging supplies and markers.

These are just a few things we have been working on lately but I have noticed an incredible sense of pride when she accomplishes these minor tasks! How do you allow for independence in your home?