I realize this title is a little dramatic. Okay a lot dramatic. However there are moments that I admit, I have uttered these words out loud, probably at a louder volume then I should. Sometimes motherhood – well it is pretty damn hard.

One of those moments for me is when the Lil’ Tea Cup starts to slip dangerously close to what I imagine the terrible twos will be like. The whining, the tantrums, the stamping feet… oh my!

Now before I really get going here, I want to mention that I am tremendously blessed to have my daughter and I love her to bits even in the tough moments. However, that does not mean that I enjoy when she throws a fit. I still think I am a good Mom (and you are too), even when I want to be the one stamping my feet and throwing my arms in the air yelling for mercy.


She loves to pretend read this book. PERFECT book for toddlers right?

ADVERTISEMENT

So how do I deal with the rough times:

1. Try to find out why things are happening. 

Referencing back to Mrs. High Heels’ post from last week, I often look to see if Lil’ Tea Cup is in a Wonder Week. After she threw her snow boot at me when I asked to come and look at a book with me today, I looked and lo and behold, she has a little storm cloud right over her head.

The Wonder Weeks assumes that all infants develop in a predictable pattern. They go through developmental stages and when they are approaching a leap in development, they go through a rough period. When they make it through the stage, they enter a period of relative calm.

Here is Lil’ Tea Cup’s current stage:

Week 74 

Signs that your child might be about to go through a developmental leap:

  • cries more often and is often cranky or fretful
  • is cheerful one moment and cries the next
  • wants to be entertained 
  • clings to your clothes or wants to be closer to you
  • acts unusually sweet
  • is mischievous
  • throws temper tantrums or throws them more often
  • is jealous
  • is more obviously shy with strangers
  • wants physical contact
  • sleep poorly and may have nightmares
  • loses appetite
  • reached for a cuddly toy or does so more often
  • is more babyish

Yep… that is about right

I also like to check out what the month that they are in looks like. Here is what is happening in Lil’ Tea Cup’s current month  from the “What to Expect ” website:

You might be asking yourself that these days if you’re one of those (not so lucky) parents who’ve got a screamer in the house. Lots of toddlers love to express themselves (loudly) and to experiment with different levels of pitch and volume. This behavior is temporary, but you can help decrease the decibels with a few choice tactics (for example, challenge your yeller to a whispering contest or encourage her to sing instead of shriek). And speaking of vocalizing, chances are your chatterbox can string a couple of words together or even speak intelligibly about half the time. Some typical behaviors these days: throwing everything and anything she can heave and opening the fridge a million times a day, both examples of showing off a new skill. She may also have figured out how to rip off her diaper (you know, the brand-new one you put on two minutes ago!). With so much learning happening so quickly, don’t be surprised if your toddler’s attachment to her comfort object (I need my monkey!) or her thumb kicks into high gear. Cuddling a pillow or sucking a thumb is a toddler’s way of blowing off steam, though some children comfort themselves in other (more disconcerting) ways, such as with head banging or hair pulling. These behaviors are not necessarily a cause for alarm (as long as your child seems generally happy and sociable), but there are tactics to try to redirect that energy. For example, provide your child with other ways to release tension (a pillow to punch or a toy hammer to pound) or an extra-furry stuffed toythat a hair puller can tug on to her heart’s content.

Yep again… pretty much right on.

Step 2 : Breathe a sigh of relief that I am not the only one going through this

Children are amazing wonderful little people. They also can tire us out more then you even thought was possible. Remember when you thought you were tired when you were pregnant? HA! Not even close! This is usually when I decide to eat a little chocolate.

Step 3: Plan of Attack

Figure out how to work with your little one the best that you can to help through the stage that they are in. Keep calm and ask for clarification.

They are still going to whine/scream/screech etc. because they can’t communicate effectively yet. However if we respond to the whining/scream/screech, they will learn that it works. Keep your cool and distract them, ask them to show you what they want/point to it or if they are old enough to use their words.

When Lil’ Tea Cup yells I try to explain to her that the sound hurts my ears and ask her to use her signs. It doesn’t work all the time but she has picked up many many signs in these past few months once she learned how much more effective it was to ask for what she wanted. Here is a great signing book: Baby Sign Language Basics by Monta Z. Briant.

Look for activities that fit their stage of development.

The Wonder Weeks book has a great list of activities and toys that may interest children going through each stage. Another option is online resources. Here is a great one with weekly activities for baby’s first year and another for toddlers. Keeping them busy is the name of the game!

Look into options for how to deal with negative behavior.

Here are some of my favourite resources:

4. When all else fails, try to remember that this too shall pass.

How do you handle when your little one goes through a rough patch?