Back in January, I wrote about diagnosing tantrums and behavioral problems in 3-4 year olds (the comments in that post are definitely worth reading) because we were having so many behavioral issues with Charlie at the time. I’m happy to report that that was a phase, and things have gotten a lot better. Whatever he was going through, which was probably a combination of many factors — sleep deficit, lack of exercise, lack of quality time, big transitions, growing pains, testosterone surge, etc. — we seem to have turned a corner. He’s getting more exercise, more attention, more sunlight, and most of all is now used to the big transition of me doing his bedtime routine instead of Mr. Bee.

With the monster tantrums and defiance largely behind us, there was still one issue that we had to address — constantly repeating ourselves to get both Charlie and Olive to do simple tasks like washing their hands or taking a bath. Getting out the door on time in the mornings were a challenge, and our evenings became a battle of wills. I was so tired of repeating myself over and over and over again. My friend who was having a similar problem with her own daughter said that she was actually taking her to get her hearing checked out!

We’ve figured out that positive parenting works best for Charlie, and though I knew that rewarding behaviors we wanted would yield better results than punishing poor behavior, it was hard not to fall into the trap of constantly nagging and losing my patience, especially when we were running late. After repeating myself for the millionth time telling Charlie to get dressed one morning, I created a sticker chart for both Charlie and Olive on a whim. They were both immediately intrigued. I explained that every time they did something quickly and without protest like cleaning up their toys, putting on their shoes, etc. they could choose a sticker and put it on their sticker chart. Charlie immediately got dressed so he could earn his first sticker. I also started giving stickers as rewards for good behavior like helping each other out.

ADVERTISEMENT

This has been a much huger success than I ever imagined! Now instead of having to repeat myself constantly, they rush to complete tasks so they can earn a sticker. I think having cool stickers is also key to upping the excitement. I purchased these scratch and sniff stickers that the kids are obsessed with. I also eventually laminated the paper because they were getting pretty beat up from the kids constantly touching it (you can buy self adhesive laminating pouches and do it at home).

We’ve tried reward charts in the past where Charlie had to earn a certain number of stickers for good behavior before getting a larger prize, but perhaps he was too young for it because it didn’t work. The instant gratification of these stickers work for someone as young as Olive (2) and even younger, and for older kids like Charlie (4) as well. It seems so simple, but it really works, and I’m repeating myself 1841532 times less these days!

Do you use any type of reward chart for behavior?