As the due date of the pregnancy we lost approaches at a rapid pace, I’ve been trying to prepare myself so I don’t have a complete emotional breakdown, especially because that date is two days before Liam’s second birthday, and I want to be happy and present for that. Here are some things I’ve been doing to keep myself in the best mental space possible.

1) Pamper myself – I got my first manicure and pedicure in months last week and it was wonderful. I hope to be able to make time for that once a month because it is something I have to do alone (unlike shopping where I can bring Liam) and it makes me feel great.

2) Distractions – Planning Liam’s second birthday party has been a great distraction for me lately. Party planning is one of my favorite things to do, so I’m enjoying putting all the little details together. We visited the farm last weekend where we are having his party to check out the picnic areas and choose our favorite and Liam had a blast. He is going to have so much fun at his party with all of his friends!

Liam wanted to ride the pony over and over again – he’ll have so much fun at his party!

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3) Eat right – I started logging my food and exercise on My Fitness Pal again and it has really helped me feel better about my body. I had gained 10 lbs since November for a few reasons. First, the holidays always mean extra calories; second, I was on clomid, which can make some women gain weight; and third, since we have been TTC, I haven’t wanted to restrict my calories because I worry it will impact my fertility. I finally realized, though, that carrying that extra weight was making me feel worse and that I needed to get back on track physically to feel better emotionally.

4) Quality time – TTC for several months in a row can take a toll on a marriage, so I’m trying to make sure that Mr. TTT and I set aside some time to really focus on nurturing our relationship with each other. We had a great weekend away for my birthday where we ate meals out and saw a play, and it really helped us feel more connected again. I am also trying to make the time I spend with Liam more purposeful. Instead of checking my phone while he plays independently, I’m trying to really pay attention to what he’s doing at this stage and soak it all in. He’s so darn cute and my love for him grows everyday.

Our weekend away, staying at a fancy hotel and seeing a play, was much needed!

5) Be honest – A few weeks ago, I texted my closest friends, who all happen to have kids close to Liam’s age, and asked them to tell me of any new pregnancies over text instead of in person. They know what we’re going through – one lost a pregnancy at 14 weeks (she had a son at the time and went on to have a healthy daughter after her loss) – so they were very supportive with my request. Over text or social media, I can easily congratulate someone on a pregnancy, but in person, it is much harder for me to show my excitement for them, while also feeling sadness for myself.

How do you cope when going through a hard time?