If you are living on the same planet as me, you have heard of the “Three-Day Potty Training Method.” This post won’t touch on that at all. Other than to say that, like pretty much everything else on planet earth, it works for some, and not so much for others. We didn’t even try it. When Lorelei was around a year old we started some potty introduction. Things moved along, until a few months ago she was staying dry most days. Then, one day she got sick and announced to me, “I don’t pee on the potty anymore. I’m the baby.”

Oh. Lorelei had drawn her line in the sand, and was waiting expectantly for my counter. “Well, that’s okay,” I said. “One day you’ll decide that you don’t want to wear trainers anymore, and then you can use the potty when you need to pee or poop.” I swear she almost looked disappointed. She was gunning for a fight, I guess. In my experience, though, turning toileting into a battle ground rarely ever goes well. And, please; think of the weapons the other side has at their disposal. Seriously. I wish to goodness I was making things up for comic effect when I say that, for a little while, Lorelei started doing a fake-pee whenever she wasn’t wearing trainers or a diaper and Mr. T was within viewing distance because she knew it freaked him out. No, we are just going to ride this one out.

It’s amazing the things that we can find to get worried about without even really trying. At one point I was convinced that my oldest, Ellie, would never learn to talk at all, and my learning “baby” sign language became more about getting a head start on ever being able to communicate with her and less about bridging a short-term gap. She did learn to talk. Really well. I also thought maybe she wouldn’t walk. She now does that, too. Barring medical complications, kids just will learn to use the toilet and give up on diapers. Sometimes it’s hard to live with the uncertainty of not knowing when that will happen exactly, and it’s almost always hard realizing that your ability to make it happen by sheer force of will just… doesn’t; but it will happen.

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Some of it depends on the child, of course. Ellie was just really motivated to not have the sensation of a wet or dirty diaper. She didn’t like it. Once she realized there was a way to make that feeling stop forever, she was in underwear before I even had time to do much reading about how to help that happen. She was in underwear and accident free at almost 24 months on the nose. We did pretty much all the same things with Lorelei. At two she shows almost all of the readiness signs, but is missing the most crucial– interest.


Gratuitous Picture to Lighten the Mood

So what are we doing now that we are in a lull? Well, we’re doing much of the same. Ellie is still the most enthusiastic about having a restroom visitor, and is always trying to talk Lorelei into wearing “real” underwear. She is also the only person Lorelei will use the potty for. We still have a small potty available and try to keep it close by. The only attention it has gotten lately is from dying flies, the small dog, and dust bunnies… but, hey, at least it’s something.

We will read our books that deal with using the toilet if they are ever requested (approximately never), and occasionally make low-key comments. Like today when she had peed and said, “Mama, mama. I peeeeed. In my trainers,” in about the saddest voice I think I have ever heard. I said, “It feels nice to be dry, doesn’t it? We can go get you some clean ones, and next time if you’d rather use the potty, just let me know.” The delivery is key. The more invested I get and the less it’s just a statement of fact given with the same emotion that I would give, “I need to get some laundry done,” the more likely it is that we won’t make any progress.

Lorelei’s journey towards underwear is proving to be a little laborious. That’s okay. We’ll get there. But the next time I get the bright idea to sell all our cloth diapers because she’s sooooooo close? You have my permission to smack me in the head with our Potty board book.