Someone recently told me that the traits that can make toddlers extremely challenging at age two are the same qualities that other would likely admire when they are young adults.  While it is hard to imagine my little guy in kindergarten, much less graduating high school, I thought it would be fun to explore this idea.

Of course, I love my little guy, but he and his peers share an alarming number of “challenging characteristics” that drive me (and probably anyone within shouting distance who gets to experience these charming traits) crazy.  Here are a few examples:

ADVERTISEMENT

Independence: Just watching my child insist that he can peel his own clementine, refusing help as he pokes, prods and struggles, insisting, “I do it” without even letting me show him what to do so he can learn can drive me nuts. Of course, in the right context, independence is a fabulous trait even for a toddler, but the constant “myself!” refrain can be tiring when a toddler is getting too big for his size 2T britches. However, I would be thrilled if young adult Colin valued his independence. Applying for college, budgeting his hard-earned cash, applying for internships and jobs – I have no intention of peeling his clementines as an adult, and I hope he won’t expect me to find him a job either.

Honesty:  Before toddlers discover the world of lies (something we haven’t quite reached yet, thankfully), it is so amazing to witness their pure honesty.  Little kids can be brutally honest, and lack the finesse of infusing tact, which can be mortifying as a parent. When eating at a friends house, I want to duck my head when Colin announces, “Chicken yucky, I no like it.”  But as an adult, being a truthful person (albeit with better manners) will earn trust among colleague and peers.

Curiousity: Whenever we are in a new place, my darling toddler immediately seems like a moth drawn to a flame, discovering every dangerous and inappropriate item within his reach. He is a curious fellow, always seeking to discover all that is aroun him.  The tough part now is that he doesn’t always understand what is dangerous, is prone to breaking fragile items and generally doesn’t comprehend that some things are just not for him to have.  However, as a grown adult, I want him to see and explore new things and want to learn more about them. I want him to be curious, always learning about new things and expanding his horizons.

Ritualistic: Toddlers thrive in routine – at least mine does. As a caregiver, this can feel quite a lot like groundhog day: wake, meal, play, meal, nap, play, snack, play, meal, bath, bed.  Repeat.  Over and over.  While many adults don’t like the monotony of this sort of routine, I think it is important to know what is expected and what needs to happen in a given day and be able to get it done.

Testing Limits:  Anyone who has a toddler knows about limit testing.  I saw this twinkle in Colin’s eye at just nine months old – when he gave me a knowing glance before chucking a handful of food off of his high chair tray.  I’m sure he was thinking, “Can I do this?  What is mom going to do?  Is this a good idea?  How far will it go?”  As he has gotten a bit older, I imagine these thoughts are evolving to, “Is this fair? Shouldn’t I be allowed to do this?” etc.  Learning to understand and follow the limits of mom and society has to be a frustrating process for a young child, but I think questioning and testing limits, even as an adult is a good thing.  If it wasn’t, would the Civil Rights era have happened?  Would our state have legalized gay marriage? It is important to learn not only to respect authority but to question that which you perceive to be unjust as well.

What other tough toddler traits might be a good fit for an adult?  Can you imagine your toddler acting like s/he does now as a grown up?