For the last almost three years, Chloe has had our undivided attention, hasn’t really had to share (unless we’ve had play dates, and even then it’s hit or miss…), and has really gotten used to her routine. Next week, her entire world is going to be flipped-turned upside down. (I hope you caught that reference!) We’re going to be bringing home a crying newborn who is, no doubt, going to steal Chloe’s spotlight… at least for the first few days home! How exactly do you prepare a toddler that they’re going to be a sibling?
We told her we were expecting… right away!
Chloe loved to jump on us and that was something that definitely had to stop asap. We told her we were having a baby and I let her feel my tummy. She was 26 months old at the time, and we were no where near ready to begin to explain where babies come from, but Chloe seemed satisfied knowing that there was a baby growing in mommy’s belly. I was about six weeks along when Chloe told me Baby Charlotte was in my belly, and don’t you know she was right! We still don’t know where she got this name but we fell in love with it, and are using it for little sis.
As my belly grew, we had to explain to Chloe that she needed to be a bit more gentle. And as I grew even more, we had to explain to her that mommy couldn’t carry her anymore.. but that’s okay, because she’s a big girl!
We made a huge deal about her being a Big Girl
I was so worried about there being so many changes at once: potty training, a new bed, and a new baby. We started letting her have some responsibility and allowed her to (kind of) make her own decisions. Things like, “Do you want chicken or beef for dinner tonight?” or “Do you want to wear your Minnie undies or your Cinderella undies?” We always emphasized that these are things only Big Girls can do, and she’s a Big Girl, so she can make some of her own decisions now!
Big Girls get to go to the potty, they get to catch lightening bugs, and they get to go on the big blue slide at the park. Sometimes she surprises us and says, “I can do it myself! I’m a big girl now!” so our Big Girl pep talks must have sunk in.
It helped that two of our friends have little ones, so I was able to point out things like, “Chloe, you can run around the play ground can’t you! But look, Baby Addison can’t. She can’t walk yet! She’s a baby, but you’re a Big Girl!”
We’ve Included Her as Much As Possible
If there was a decision we could include Chloe in, we did. This meant we took her shopping for a crib for little sis (and this is when she realized her toddler bed was actually a crib, and she needed a big girl bed!). She helped me wash the baby clothes and fold them. She helped me pick out new baby things, like bottles and towels and pacifiers. She helped get the nursery ready. We really emphasized what a huge help she was and how we were so proud of our Big Girl.
She got special dates
It’s gotten harder for me to get around the farther into my pregnancy I go, so my husband has started taking her out on Special Dates. They’ll get ice cream together without me, or go out for a quick bite to eat while I stay home. Part of this was to give me a break (I’m exhausted by the time he gets home from work!), but to also prepare Chloe that for the first few weeks, she’ll have to go on fun outings with just daddy. And, of course, we both want to emphasize that she is still – and always will be! – so very special to us. She gets to do these special things with just dad (and eventually, with just mom!), not the baby.
We’ve also been carving out extra time for family time. Sometimes it means we completely unplug for a weekend and hang out doing anything that Chloe wants. One weekend we went fishing, fed the ducks, had a cookout and a bonfire before going to bed. The next day, we blew up the baby pool and hung out outside all day together. It was such a great way to get extra special time with our Big Kid. I really wanted this summer to be all about her, since it was the last one it would be just the three of us. We’ve gone to the zoo as much as possible, taken her out to ride bikes almost every night after dinner, and caught lightening bugs before bed. We carved out so much time together that some of our housework slipped (oops.. I think our neighbors are dying for us to cut the grass!), but making memories is so much more fun than weeding the flower bed or mowing the lawn.
We watched Daniel Tiger
As luck would have it, Daniel Tiger got a sister two weeks before my scheduled c-section date. We’ve recorded all the episodes and watched them over and over and over. Chloe loves Baby Margaret and was beyond excited when she realized that SHE has a little sister just like Daniel! I’ve tried to talk about the episodes in the moment and get her to tell me what just happened. There’s one episode where Daniel and his friend are playing, but Baby Margaret takes their cups and ruins their picnic. It was a great lesson in patience and sharing, which is something I worry about once the baby is here. It will take time, but I know Chloe will be a great big sister!
our last photo of 2013 on NYE // we found out the week before we were expecting!
How did you prepare your oldest for their siblings birth?
apricot / 370 posts
I love how Chloe gave her little sister a name!
Adorable picture!
Daughter was 2 ½ when 2nd one was born. Lots of similar things we did to prepare her…explaining about the baby coming, how she’s a big girl and gets to do all kinds of big girl things like not needing a crib, getting big girl bed sheets and blankets, getting big kid treats like cookies and ice cream (newborn babies can’t), getting to choose what to wear. And she gets to be the BIG sister, who can show little sister all the neat things she knows like jumping and skipping and songs, and help mommy and daddy because we’ll need her help. I can’t say we did anything too differently in terms of activities and taking her out to places before the 2nd one came, we kind of just carried on as we normally did. When 2nd one came, for the most part, the older one was very sweet to her and curious, but of course there were some moments where she whined and acted up because my attention was on the baby. It’s easier in some ways now that they both can start playing with each other and I see them laughing with each other, even though there’s lots of squabbling (add referee to your list of jobs). At 4 now, the older has embraced being the big sister and relishes showing her little sister how things work, what things are, how to play with something, sharing, it’s sweet.
guest
Definitely thinking of this. I’m expecting in March and LO will be 25 months old. But she’s itsy bitsy and will be no where near ready to be out of her crib (we haven’t even lowered it to the lowest setting because she can’t climb it yet and she’s so short!).
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
We are doing a lot of this – and we are LOVING the new Daniel Tiger episodes!!
guest
Our second was born last weekend, and our oldest is 26 months and Daniel’s #1 fan. You literally saved our dinner prep time by giving the heads up on Daniel’s new sibling. Amazing timing – thank you!
clementine / 958 posts
DD1 is the same age as Chloe and became a big sister almost 3 months ago. We did a lot of the same things in preparation for DD2’s arrival, and I’m surprised at how well she has adjusted. Those Daniel Tiger episodes are awesome – we’ve been singing “there’s time for you and baby too” a lot since that episode aired. Good luck! I hope Chloe loves being a big sister
olive / 57 posts
Awesome tips, thanks! Our pediatrician actually suggested we wait until a month or two before the babies (we are expecting twins!) arrive to tell our daughter. She is currently 26 months and I think it makes sense to wait (the doc said it would just be too long for DD to wait for the babies), but at the same time I think she knows something is up anyway. Sounds like your daughter knew for your whole pregnancy and it worked out well! Thanks for sharing, definitely something for me to think about!
cherry / 205 posts
My daughter is also a climber of everything, including her parents. She has also always been super clingy (she still wants to be carried around at 27 months). So as soon as I found out I was pregnant I started telling DD that I had a baby in my belly and that we could hug anywhere she wanted but sometimes I wouldn’t be able to carry her. She eventually started to get the concept of “baby in belly” because one day she started to hug my belly and give kisses to the baby. I think LOs can be prepared for the arrival of a sibling as long as it’s done using terms that they understand
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
Sounds like you guys did a lot of good preparing!