Chloe had been doing a really great job of going to bed on time, which we set at 8 pm, for months.  We were a bit worried about daylight saving time this spring, but both the time change and her new bed didn’t change her bedtime routine.  It wasn’t until this July, when she caught a cold, that everything went haywire. The entire month of July was a huge challenge for us. I was 8 months pregnant and in no mood for these bedtime battles. I was also exhausted during the day, and her sudden no-nap schedule was wreaking havoc on me. I thought for sure that she’d be exhausted by the end  of the day, but she seemed to have never ending energy that was driving me (and my husband) mad. We were lucky if she was in bed by 10pm and asleep by 11. This meant my husband and I had little to no time to ourselves or each other. It meant I wasn’t getting any sleep (because she was awake) and was cranky. Something had to give, and we didn’t know what to do.

What’s that phrase? Threenagers?  One night Chloe would not go to bed. After three hours of bedtime battles, my husband  threatened to take away her Mickey car. Chloe sat on the couch and said, “Go ahead. Take it!” This went on for 45 minutes. He took her car, her castle, random toys and the kicker… her birdie dress, her most favorite shirt in the universe. He said she could earn them back when she behaved at bedtime.  She sat on our couch, as smug as could be, and egged him on.  “Are you gonna take the big tv too, daddy?”  Ohh, we were seeing red. Nothing seemed to register with her… until the next morning when she realized all her belongings were gone. So she did what any normal 2.5 year old would do: She tore apart her room looking for her toys.

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So THIS is what the following morning looks like, when The Kid is frantically searching for her favorite shirt and toys.

One day my mother-in-law suggested behavioral modification to us, which is something that I’d never heard about before.  After she explained the concept to me I dubbed it ‘glorified bribery’ but at this point, I was willing to try anything.  She printed off a slew of pictures (aka rewards) and made a second copy.  She cut the copy in half and explained that Chloe had to earn the reward by completing two actions: one was to turn off the iPad before bed without a fuss. The second was going to bed, on time, without making a fuss. Each action earned her half the reward, which she could put on top of the original picture like a puzzle.

Each of the rewards are family activities and not items. We’ve been using things like ice cream dates, fishing trips, extra time at the park, bonfires and smores in the back yard, and activities like Chloe gets to choose dinner, Chloe can help cook, and so on.

AND IT WORKS. 

Chloe grasped on to the concept fairly easily.  The first night we tried this, we let her pick the reward.  She chose an ice cream date, and was pretty excited to put it up on the fridge.  We told her that she could have iPad time from 7:45 until 8:15, and then it was time to catch lightning bugs and get tucked into bed. We told her she could lay in her bed and talk to herself if she wasn’t quite sleepy yet, but she had to stay in her bed… and no crying, either!  At 8:10, my husband came into our bedroom and without being asked, Chloe turned off the iPad. We didn’t even bother to tell her that she had 5 minutes of time left.  Chloe & Daddy caught lightning bugs and then he tucked her into bed. She didn’t make a peep and she stayed in her bed all night long. In the morning she woke me up and screamed, “MAMA! MAMA!  I get the other part of my ice cream treat!”

That was all it took to establish this new pattern of amazing bedtime sleep. Glorified, visual bribery.

Her sleeping better at night has translated into her taking epic afternoon naps (… and I totally nap with her!) and having an overall better mood.  She’s happier.  She’s rested.  She’s eating better.  I couldn’t believe how much her lack of sleep was affecting every aspect of her life (and ours).


there was orange juice in my coffee mug, don’t worry!

Did you ever deal with a sleep regression in a toddler?  How did you handle it?