We fooled ourselves into thinking that sleep training solved all our sleep problems, and although we had a good two years of amazing sleep (minus a regression or two or three), it didn’t last. Like many things in life, we learned through the hard way (i.e. our own experience), that sleep training and consistency are not guaranteed miracle workers that will make all our sleep woes go away for good!

Our toddler sleep problems started a couple months after we transitioned Noelle into her big girl bed, so she had just turned 2. Our once champ sleeper would wake up in the middle of the night screaming, run from her room to ours, then sleep with us until morning.  We could only think of two reasons why this was happening. Either it had to do with the transition from crib to bed, or because she somehow knew she was going to be a big sister soon and that her life would be forever changed.

We didn’t realize until a year into this that this was actually typical toddler behavior! It’s as if there’s another big sleep regression that happens around the age of 2. Based on what I’ve heard and read from others with toddlers, many have experienced something similar whether they sleep trained, co-bedded, was strict on routines, or not.

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At first, this change was really rough on us.  Because none of us were used to co-bedding, whenever Noelle came into our room in the middle of the night, all of us would wake up. We would wake up to a pair of eyes just staring at us, and a little finger poking us in an effort to get us to help her into bed. You’ve seen those posters and memes on baby sleep positions right? Yea, Noelle pretty much rotated within those positions all through the night – it was rough! Mr. Heels and I were not getting any quality sleep. Don’t even get me started on how I was in my third trimester, and did not need to be kicked on the neck or in the back by my toddler, when I had another in my womb doing more of the same.

We thought about what we could do to get everyone’s sleep back to where it once was.  Maybe we could put a gate up, or lock the door and force her to stay put until we went to get her. In the end, we didn’t have the heart to enforce any of that.  We decided to just carry on because you see, after a while… we came to discover that we loved having her in our bed.

As time went on, she learned to silently climb into our bed without disturbing us. She would climb in and curl up in a corner on my husband’s side (the side closest to our door), and just snuggle up against us without a peep. As much as it was an adjustment for us, it was an adjustment for her too. She no longer slept like a starfish, and slept more like a baby in fetal position (whew!). We would all sleep until morning, and often woke up wondering, “what time did Noelle get here?” – but it didn’t really matter.  The fact of the matter was, she was here, and it felt right.

Waking up to this… is… the best.

We’ve gotten a little visitor almost every night for close to 2 years now, and we wouldn’t have it any way.  It truly is the best of both worlds because she starts off sleeping in her bed (we make her feel safe by keeping the door ajar, and leaving the closet light on), and is free to come into our bed whenever she wants after she “sleeps for a long long time” (this is what we tell her when we tuck her into bed).

Two big benefits I see in having our toddler in our bed is the bonding and cuddles, and the ease at figuring out sleeping arrangements during travel!  We never thought we’d enjoy sleeping with our daughter in the same bed, but it goes to show – never say never – especially when it comes to parenting!

Has toddler sleep rocked your world?