Hellobee

The scariest thing about having a second baby for me is taking care of that baby and my three year old while my husband is away. I lost a lot of sleep while pregnant thinking about how there was no possible way I could care for another baby alone. And then when Baby Brother Stroller was born? Anxiety. Through. The. Roof.

BB Stroller is not an easy baby. In fact, I’d say most things about him are um, challenging. Three tongue tie surgeries, post-partum complications for me, colic, potential food sensitivities, an aversion to sleep. You name it. Did I mention an aversion to sleep? As in, mummy gets no sleep and I still have a three year old and a baby to take care of all day long. Is it bed time yet?

For the first couple of months after Baby Brother’s arrival, Mr. Stroller kept his travel to a minimum and when he did travel my mom came to town or it was just for a couple of nights. But then March hit. As in he was gone for March. Then he came home for a few days and left for another two weeks. Honeymoon is over, we’re throwing you in head first, mummy.

I’ve figured out a routine that is, knock on wood, working well for the four of us right now (can’t forget the dog!) when Mr. Stroller is out of town. I try my best to stick to the schedule otherwise we all start melting down. Here’s how a typical solo mama evening looks these days with a 3 year old and a 4 month old:

4:30 pm – Pack up whatever we’re doing and start making dinner. I might pull out crayons or playdoh for Little Stroller. Occasionally I’ll turn on Daniel Tiger in the family room. Baby Brother goes on his play mat or in a bouncy seat in the kitchen.

5:00 pm – Dinner time for Little Stroller and me. Baby Brother sits in the Bumbo on the table in front of us. Little Stroller takes much longer than me to eat, so I often end up nursing the baby at the table after I finish eating while we continue to talk about our day.

5:45 pm – Head upstairs for bath. I put Baby Brother in his cradle and start filling the bath tub with the baby tub inside of the big tub. Little Stroller takes his clothes off while I lay out his PJs on his bed and his clothes for the next day on his chair. While Little Stroller uses the potty, I lay out Baby Brother’s clothes and diaper, strip him down to his diaper, and bring his towel into the bathroom.

6:00 pm – I help Little Stroller into the big tub and then grab Baby Brother from his cradle. His room is a few feet from the bathroom and I have Little Stroller talk to me for the few seconds while he’s out of my sight. Baby Brother goes into his tub inside of the tub. I wash Little Stroller and then wash Baby Brother straight away. While they play I prep Little Stroller’s toothbrush and get towels ready.

6:20 pm – Bath time is their favorite time of the day, but when Baby Brother shows the first signs of getting a little fussy, I know he’s had enough. Little Stroller climbs out, I dry him off, brush his teeth and then send him on his naked way to get dressed in his bedroom. I take Baby Brother out of the tub, pop the drain open, flip his tub over, open Little Stroller’s toilet so the little seat is down for night-time visits, plug in the bathroom night light, and turn off the lights.

While I get Baby Brother dressed, Little Stroller finishes getting his PJs on, puts his dirty clothes from the day in the hamper (we’re working on “left” and “right” side of the hamper), and chooses books.

6:30 pm – I turn on the white noise machines in the boys’ rooms and grab Baby Brother’s swaddle. We all meet in my room for stories. I put Baby Brother on my bed and change into my cozy pants. I arrange the pillows on my bed so we each have a pillow behind us and one to prop up our books. Baby Brother goes on the Boppy on my lap and while he nurses we read our books. We usually do two big books, Little Stroller does his final potty trip, and then we finish with one small board book. But if Baby Brother is still awake and nursing I’ll have Little Stroller grab a few more books until the tap is dry.

7:00 pm – Little Stroller kisses Baby Brother on his feet and runs off to his room to get into bed. I swaddle Baby Brother and put him down in his room. Then I go to Little Stroller’s room to tuck him in. We talk about how he’ll earn a sticker for going straight to sleep and not leaving his room and then another for not waking mommy up before his orange light comes on in the morning. I make a big deal about the stickers and how excited I am to choose stickers with him in the morning. Most days it buys me an extra half hour of sleep if he uses the potty himself and doesn’t wake me up to help. That’s worth some seriously fancy puffy stickers.

7:10 pm – I leave Little Stroller’s room, lock the gate at the top of the stairs, and walk down the stairs really slowly. He always runs out of his room and asks for one more kiss and I like to still be at the top of the stairs when he does. I often ask him for one more hug when he turns to run back to bed. Beat him at his own game!

7:20 pm – I watch the boys on the monitors for a little bit and once they’re both settled I put a leash on the dog, call my safety person (my mom or a friend) to let them know I’m leaving the house, lock the door behind me and take the dog out to the curb. I walk the dog back and forth at the curb in front of our house until he’s empty. Then we go back inside, I lock and alarm the house, and text my safety person that I’m back inside safely for the night.

For the next hour I clean up from dinner, prep everything I need for the next morning – pump parts, coffee, Little Stroller’s glasses, etc. and then head to bed as early as possible, but not later than 9pm. Then I gear myself up for a half dozen night time wake ups. Zzzzzzzzz

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When I was first facing extended solo parenting periods, I spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out what would work best for my boys. Moving the baby’s bedtime earlier so I could bathe both boys together helped streamline the night. I’m sure my routine will change again soon, but I hope this helps give you an idea of how to get everyone fed, clean and to sleep – including yourself!

hanging out with my wild ones