Hellobee

Mr. Pizza and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary this past weekend. Where did the time go? The past five years went by so quickly, and it seems the years pass by even faster now that we have kids.

After having a baby, it’s easy to be so consumed with everything that comes with the new role of being a mom that your relationship with your spouse can end up taking a backseat—indefinitely. Someone once told me that one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is witnessing the relationship of parents who deeply love each other. While that might seem simple and obvious when taken at face value, it can be surprisingly hard to be intentional about investing in your marriage during a season of life when just surviving the hustle and bustle of meeting your kids’ needs seems like success enough. Looking our best for our spouse? I’m lucky if I can find the time to shower and get out of my pjs by afternoon. Sharing romantic dinners by candle light? Leftover mac and cheese will have to do for now. Deep, thought-provoking conversation? What I really need is a quick nap before Gracie wakes up again… Honestly, we are in no ways experts and are still struggling to figure it out, but we recognize that working on our marriage has to be a priority. The past three months since Gracie was born have been especially hard for Mr. Pizza and I to find the time to connect. Thankfully, anniversaries are milestones that help us pause and reflect on our marriage and relationship.

We had brought up some ideas during the week leading up to our anniversary and thought of spending the day together as a family in the city. Unfortunately, once we saw that there was a high chance of rain that day, we decided to forego those plans. I hadn’t given it much thought afterwards, but Mr. Pizza, being the sentimental and creative guy that he is, made a list of things we could do to celebrate, most of which included our whole family.

We started off the morning going out for brunch as a family. This was only the second time we had gone out to eat as a family since Gracie was born. I was a little nervous about taking Gracie out as she isn’t the best daytime sleeper and I often have to rock her in my arms. But that morning at the restaurant, the timing was perfect and everything went smoothly. I mean, we ate so fast that both Mr. Pizza and I had a stomachache, but hey, we did it–GO US!! When we got back, we wanted to do things to remember our wedding and show Joyful just how much Mr. Pizza and I cared for each other. With Gracie napping on and off throughout the day, we looked through our wedding album with Joyful, explaining the pictures and what the day was like to her. We also watched our wedding highlight video a couple times, something Joyful now asks to watch every night (J: “Umma (mommy), were you a princess? And were you dancing with ahppah (daddy)?”). Mr. Pizza had us perform our first dance (a foxtrot choreographed to the song “Baby You’ve Got What It Takes” by Michael Buble). We all got dressed up–I found myself a white dress, Mr. Pizza wore a suit, and even Joyful got in on the fun, wearing her favorite dress.

Joyful waiting to dance

Mr. Pizza and I did our dance for our audience of two, and then spent the rest of the time dancing together as a family. There was a lot of smiling, laughing, jumping, spinning, and dipping. I think this was the highlight of the day for all of us. Later we took our second ever family photo, the first being the one we took at the hospital with Gracie. And for taking family pictures, forget a tripod, you need a selfie stick! It was so handy–cutting down the setup time and eliminating the risk of missing out on the perfect shot running back after setting the timer!

Once both our kids were asleep, our friends came over to stay at the house, and Mr. Pizza and I went out for dinner (our first time without the kids) at a sushi restaurant (something you miss when you’re pregnant). Over dinner, we shared our favorite memories as a couple, our happiest moments in our years married together, the things we value in each other, the areas we want to grow in for each other. It was a fitting end to our day, an opportunity to reconnect and remember our relationship. There were a couple of other items on Mr. Pizza’s list that we didn’t have time to get to, but to me, it was perfect: a family affair, simple and sweet.

What are some simple things you and your spouse do to intentionally grow your marriage?