Life changes are rarely simple I’ve come to learn in the past year. Since I’ve last blogged, we’ve sold our home, my husband has started a new job and we’ve moved three hours from where our daughters were born and from where all of our family lives. I think from time to time we all contemplate change in many forms of our life and having just lived through it with kids in tow, I thought I could capture what the reality of change brought into our lives.
Last fall I was relatively content with my life. I had a growing social network of support as a SAHM — something that had not come easy for me. We had a lovely community, a home I really loved and dreamed of remodeling, but there was one problem and that was my husband’s job. It was stressful, time consuming and left him drained day in and day out with little energy for family activities. Last fall we finally realized we needed to make a change, because even though on paper our life looked good, the reality was we were missing a lot of time together and the girls were growing fast. Somehow we’d gotten off track. It was a hard decision for us to uproot the life we’d built as a young family. Here are some of the pros and cons we grappled with:
Pros
- Better quality of life for our family
The main reason for moving was to improve our family’s quality of life. My husband was looking at a potential reduction in hours, resulting in a more flexible schedule allowing for time with his family and more downtime for him — something we felt we were missing for quite some time.
- Better job opportunity
The job climate in the area we were looking suited both of our careers well. The job he sought would give him great growth potential in his career and field and would lead to exciting opportunities. Additionally, if I did choose to return to work there was job opportunity in my previous field as well.
- Better climate and cultural fit
The place we were looking has a Mediterranean climate, closer to the ocean, as opposed to the semi-arid desert climate we had been living in. The climate we used to live in had many summer days of over 100 degrees Fahrenheit which didn’t allow for a lot of leisurely outdoor time during the hot months; most activities had to be planned for short stints in the heat. Along with an improved climate, the new place we were looking to move was smaller in population and hosts many family-oriented outdoor community events and a large art community.
- More financial stability
Finally, we knew that selling our house could offer us more financial stability. Ee could increase our savings while we became established in the new area, and we could pay off a few student loans.
Cons
- Living three hours away from our network of family and friends
This was a huge con for me. I had struggled to establish a community of support and enjoyed having both of our families only one hour away. Moving three hours away would mean starting again to reestablish a support network in a new place, and it would also mean not seeing family as often which we had enjoyed.
- From owning to renting a home
Another big con for us was going back to renting. We had enjoyed being homeowners for the most part and felt that we had made a nice investment into our home over the years. Saying goodbye to one of our biggest life investments wasn’t an easy idea.
- Saying goodbye to a familiar area
Lastly, saying goodbye to an entire life we’d built over the course of the past seven years, the place I’d rocked my babies and the home we’d put together; saying goodbye to all the plans I’d made, to the school down the street I’d planned to send the girls to with their friends and to sweet neighbors and friends that lived nearby.
Despite my very real fears we decided to make the big move in hopes of a more dynamic future for our family. It was not easy to make this decision there was a lot of trepidation for both of us, but we are faithful and felt that God wanted this for our family. In an upcoming post I’ll share about the transition on us all.
Have you contemplated moving? What were the pros and cons?
grapefruit / 4110 posts
We moved twice in the last two years. We moved away from the desert tot he coast. And my husband hated it. I found a dream job and got it. So I took the kids (4 years old and 3 month old) 8 hours away and started working. My husbands family is in the area with my new job and we are working desperately on getting my hubs a job so he can join us. We went from rural to urban and are back rural with all of the pros and cons of that. Only time will tell if we made the right decisions.
grape / 87 posts
Living near friends and family is so important to me, but it would come at a price of everything else. I envy people with jobs that work out everywhere, but we definitely do not have that situation.
watermelon / 14467 posts
This is something we are struggling with as well. Theoretically, it would be ideal to move back to our college town, where we would be equal distance from both families and it’s an area we love. However, jobs are lacking there and it’s very rural. But I feel pulled to live in my hometown as well and see the advantages of having my mom come help when H is sick, which is something that wouldn’t happen if we lived farther away. At the same time, I’m tired of it taking me 35 minutes to travel 11 miles and then an additional 15-30 to go five miles home from daycare. We need to talk about what would be best for everyone.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
We contemplated moving for about a year or two before just biting the bullet and making it happen. We moved when DS was about 8 months old. We absolutely love our new home, but the location of our old home couldn’t be beat. We just couldn’t afford our new home in our old location (even though it’s in the same city!). It makes commuting to certain places longer, but it’s a trade-off we had to make. DH said if we ever find a home in our old location that we could afford, we’d totally move in a heartbeat!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
We moved from East Coast to West Coast with a 2 year old and 6 month old. Hardest thing ever! Some days I’m so glad and others I wish we never had. It’s a rollercoaster for sure.
One thing for me that I try to remember was two pieces of advice: “you can have the life you want” and “choose the bigger life”. On days I just want to crawl back to where I’m from I try to remember these pieces of advice. And yet… not sure how long we will stay!