Hellobee

I often feel like a broken record as a mom.  I feel like I say the same few things over and over and over and over. And then over again. Here are my most frequently used phrases – check them out and let me know if you have any gems that help keep the peace with your threenager.

1) Should we {move to the next thing} now or in 5 minutes? These days, we give a five minute warning for everything. Heading downstairs, meal time, end of play time, bath time. The choice is nearly always in five minutes, and if I know we’re having a particularly argumentative day, the iPhone chimes join me in this battle.

2) Keep your bottom in your chair, please. What is it with kids and meals? It isn’t like our chairs are especially uncomfortable. He just HATES sitting in his seat at meal times. This is a nagging refrain at our house, and it’s only a matter of time before I’m dealing with it times two. I’m wondering if there is a magical age when chairs and kids butts work as a team at meal times…?

3) You get what you get, and you don’t get upset. What color vitamin? Which piece of pizza? Which hand to hold walking from the parking lot to the store? Sometimes you just get what you get. We haven’t even read Pinkalicious, but I’m much in debt to her for this great turn of phrase.

4) Watch out for your brother. I have a kid who is rough and tumble. He’s always moving, running, throwing, and he’s newly mobile little bro always seems to want to be exactly where big brother is. Lots of accidental stepping on hands, tripping and bumping into each other.

5) Let’s put it on your wish list. Between commercials, the kids at school, friends’ houses and more, my three year old is deep in the world of “I want, I want, I want.” I’ve learned that saying, “no you can’t have __” leads to unnecessary battles, because often, the “I want” is an instinctual reaction (particularly with commercials) and he doesn’t really want the item in question. A mom at the park tipped me off on the wish list idea, and I actually now keep one in my phone. I don’t always really add everything he requests (potty surprise doll?), but this is actually helpful when the holidays and birthdays roll along. If the wish list suggestion doesn’t work, I just break into song: “you can’t always get what you waaaaant.” Thank you, Rolling Stones.

6) Inside voice please. Is it just me, or do small kids just have a knack for getting loud at the most inopportune times. In the line at the library, as little brother is trying to fall asleep, asking loudly the most awkward thing you can imagine while in a public place. Gah.

7) How do you ask? We are still drilling for pleases over here. Colin has mastered please when he’s asking for something he knows he shouldn’t really get (“oh mommy, can I have a piece of candy oh pleasey-pleasey-please?”), but more often than not, many of his requests have this follow up from me.

8) Conversely, just because you asked politely, it doesn’t mean you can. This one is tough. Manners are important, but asking nicely doesn’t entitle him to extra TV, junk food, unearned privileges, etc.

9) I’m so proud of you for…. This one doesn’t bother me at all, but I find that rather than letting positive moments go by unnoticed, it makes a world of difference when I recognize my three year old for doing something I have been working on with him  Sharing with his brother. Asking for something politely. Staying seated through lunch. Whatever. Drawing attention to the positive brings more positive.

10) I love you.  On a similar train of positive thought, we check in regularly throughout the day for hugs, kisses and I love yous.  I feel like so much of my day is spent reprimanding him, that he needs regular reminders that just because he often frustrates me and I often lose my temper, I really do love him so much. Plus I know that the days of free-flowing hugs and cuddles are numbered, and it won’t be long before my kisses are reviled instead of revered. Three year olds are a handful, but when they’re sweet, they’re as sweet as can be.