It’s been a while since I’ve updated on the status of things going on regarding the separation process during pregnancy. After two months of separation, I decided to go ahead and file for divorce myself instead of waiting around for my spouse (? partner? ex? the verbiage gets confusing here) to do it.

Without delving too deeply into personal emotional matters, he was still evaluating things and kept going back and forth on if he wanted to put effort into reconciliation or not. My lawyer advised me that moving forward on filing would be a good idea, just in case things ever got difficult regarding child support or custody dates, or any of the details in between. Basically if that were to ever happen, I could just present the separation agreement to the court and they would uphold what we had agreed upon. He did tell me that it was highly unlikely that the case would be able to proceed at that time and that it would be up to the judge on whether it would be heard now or if I would be forced to wait until delivery. It’s apparently very rare for a divorce to be approved during a pregnancy in Texas. I had feared that, but by this point I’ve reconciled myself to that likelihood.

So, I filed last month, and as predicted the judge declined to take the case until the baby had arrived. It seems Texas is one of the few states who still files children as legitimate or illegitimate? That was what my lawyer told me her reasoning was for waiting, to “protect the child” from being filed as born out of wedlock. It seems it would also act as a waiver to taking a paternity test at birth so long as the father (or assumed father? I’m not sure how they define all these things) doesn’t protest. So, that means that for now, everything is basically on hold. The papers are “active yet pending” which just means that sometime after the birth I will have to go to court for the proceedings. It’s not ideal for me by any means, as I’ll most likely have a breastfeeding newborn, but it’s something I at least have time to prepare for. Our arrangement so far is working for the most part.

I’m still deciding how to refer to my (future) ex for posts, but for this one let’s just call him a co-parent. My co-parent has leased a place to live and started taking the kids every other weekend, and so far the adjustment for them has gone relatively well. They seem to accept the fact that “Daddy’s House” is somewhere different now, and refer to our home as “Mommy’s House.” We’ve gotten into the groove of an adjusted schedule, and I’m getting used to being “on duty” basically all the time now.

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The pregnancy is going really well, I’m almost 20 weeks along, and since I had my last child at 38 weeks, I very well could be halfway there already! That is so strange to think about. I still don’t really feel pregnant, even with the baby moving around noticeably. I am getting really excited about a newborn coming soon. I find myself cooing at every baby and lamenting how big both my girls are getting. I’m starting to feel more confident and comfortable about the months ahead. My anatomy scan is coming up soon, which is very exciting to look forward to! I’m glad I have the months ahead to plan and prepare.

I still have a lot to figure out, from finding my own health insurance (I will no longer be covered 30 days after the divorce is finalized, which could mean around August), to working out if I will take some sort of maternity leave or need to keep up with contract work, or even pick up more contracts/hours. And of course, I have my spring garden to plant soon! New beginnings are just ahead, and I’m looking forward to meeting them.