Hellobee

We are in the midst of changing almost EVRRRYTHING that Will has come to know in his short 21 months of life – where he lives, sleeps, plays; where he goes every day for school and all the people in his ‘second family’; and his daily routine. Career transitions and my frustration at my commute hitting an all time high necessitated a change, so two months ago we bit the bullet and started looking for a new home. We live in the DC area, and this move amounts to moving across the city from one suburb in Maryland to a much closer one in Virginia – but even a 30 mile move brings change, anxiety and requires planning.

We considered transitioning Will from his crib to a toddler bed at the same time (and then realized we didn’t want to be IDIOTS). My only anxiety about this move stemmed from shaking up Will’s world – which meant it was easy to spend my energy focusing on making it the best process possible for him.

After we found a great home, I spent considerable time searching for a new second family/daycare for Will, figuring out the best routes to get me to work to maximize my time with Will (one of the primary reasons we’re moving in the first place). Then, I began to ask around – fellow mamas in a social media group, for one – for tips for making the transition as easy for Will as possible. Combined with my research here, here and here, I came up with a plan to manage the before and during transitions for Will.

The front cover of my take on an awesome suggestion from some fellow mamas for helping Will adjust to a new home and routine.

1) Advance plan logistics as much as possible to minimize the length of interruptions to Will’s life. I wanted to make the move all at once, so this meant hiring a moving company, finding a weekend that Mr. Milk wouldn’t be working, and I could take a day or two away from work. I packed up Will’s room last – the day of the move, essentially – so that he slept in his crib, surrounded by his familiar toys for as long as possible.

2) Be positive, always, around Will. Some fellow mamas pointed out that the more I was stressed and showed it, the more stressed and anxious Will would likely be. I immediately changed my attitude from worried to purposeful and excited and have only shown that face to Will from that day onward.

3) Prepare Will for the process and changes. One of the best ideas I received was to make a book for Will about all of the transitions to come. I ordered a blank book off of Amazon, printed some pictures, and spent a few evenings with colored pencils to make “Will’s Big Move” – a book featuring Will in his current surroundings, with the new house, names of his new daycare peeps, and even a trip to the beach we’re taking as we leave the old house and move into the new one. We read it to Will nightly for about a week before we moved, and are still doing so in the middle of this endeavor. He knows when to say “bye bye” to his friends, which is just about the best.

4) Give daycare as much advance notice as possible and get tips and tricks from Will’s current caregivers for his new ones! We told our daycare, whom we love, about five weeks before our move (and before I’d found a new daycare), and I began to ask them what Will’s favorite foods, songs, and games were when he was with them. I’m making a little one-pager for his daycare with all of this information to help them during what is sure to be a rough week or two in his new place.

5) Involve Will in the changes. Once I found some possible daycares, I brought Will with me to visit them. When I knew that he’d be making the big transition from napping in a pack and play to a blue cot (dear lord! advice still welcome on this topic!), we ordered a blue cot and began talking to Will about his new nap space. When we busted open the boxes, we invited Will to help us pack books, toys and the like. He visited the new house with us as we made small trips with china and lamps before the big moving truck came, bringing a few key items of his to make it clear that this was his new space.

Will ‘helping’ pack boxes

6) Make Will’s room the number one priority to set up in the new house. As soon as we closed on the new house, Mr. Milk and I had a date at Ikea buying new black out curtains for Will’s windows. His crib will be the first piece of furniture we put together, and a room we’ve designated as his playroom is already set up so he has a place to be while boxes overwhelm the rest of the house. I’m hoping seeing his art, his crib, his books will help him settle in faster to his new bedroom and minimize disruptions to his life.

7) Expect regressions or behavior changes but keep firm to expectations. I have no beliefs that this will be perfect and know that Will might be quicker to temper (this has been true thus far!), clingier (yep), and generally not fully himself in the weeks before, during and after this move. Mr. Milk and I are supporting each other to remain patient, loving and firm with Will to do our best and help him through his first big change.

8) Show lots of love and try to make it fun. Spending a week sleeping in a pack and play and running in circles in empty rooms?! Such fun! Instead of highlighting the insanity of moving, we’re having lots of fun enjoying the perks – like spending the weekend at the beach to get away from it all! – and giving Will lots of extra love during this crazy time.

Spending the weekend at the beach, in the midst of the big move.

I’ll update you all on the ‘after’ in a few weeks! In the meantime, advice for transitioning a toddle from crib napping to cot napping? Eek!