Hellobee

I’ve talked a few times before about how Mr. Garland and I are working in our lives to minimize the distractions that come along with technology and be a bit more present in our day-to-day lives. I loved this book for that, and it really helped me to change my perspective and spend more time focused on being present and in the moment when I’m at home.

Last month, my mom gave me the second book from the same author, Hands Free Life, and I have attempted to read it but only made it a few pages in before I had to put it down and step away.

Why? Because of all of the guilt.

Right now, Mr. Garland and I are in a season of our lives where things are busy. They just are. We’re earnestly pursuing our dream of building our own business and reaching a point where I’m able to stay at home with Jackson and work on the business from home. Our business revolves around my personal blog, and we’re hoping to soon expand into opening an Etsy store, creating videos, and more. All of this leads to lots of extra time spent on the computer and our phones and lots of extra work – on top of our normal (full-time) jobs, parenting, and living our lives.

So, as I started to read this book about letting go of the distractions, spending your time focused on your family, and not working around the clock I began to feel so guilty for the way things are right now – but I don’t feel like it can change. Unfortunately, if we really want to achieve our dreams and get to a point where we can slow down and live the life we really want, we’re going to have to push through this time of working crazy hours, spending half the night with our noses buried in laptops, and spending our weekends working rather than relaxing.

I think someday soon I’ll be able to go back and read the book and actually take from it what I know I need to hear, but right now I’m at the point where I feel like I need to pour my energy into pursuing this because I know I’ll always regret it if I don’t.

So, ever since my failed attempt at reading this book that I was so excited about, I’ve been thinking of how I can find a way to strike a balance between pushing myself to reach our goals and spending so much time working that I don’t have a life. I know we all go through times like this where life is insane and it’s hard to really find the time to slow down a bit, so I thought I’d share are a few things I’ve landed on that have helped me slow down:

• Set aside at least one “off” night a week. Sometimes this is hard, but whether your busy season consists of extra work or just a lot of social engagements, it’s important to have at least one night every single week where you can slow down and let go of your obligations. For Mr. Garland and me, it’s Tuesday nights – we try to have an at-home date night every week where we watch a show together, play some board games, or just hang out without our computers. Sometimes it’s hard to step away from all of the things we need to do, but this is vital to keeping us sane!
• Make no-technology time a routine. This applies to just about everyone – whether you’re distracted because your business is online and social media never quits or you’re distracted because there’s a Pokemon right down the street and you just have to go catch it really quick (ahem, Mr. Garland), it’s so helpful to make a routine of setting aside all technology for some length of time every night. You may just start with 20 minutes a night where you put it all away and focus on nothing but being in the moment – then, you can slowly build up to more and more time. I used to be really good about this, but I’ve fallen out of the habit so I need to start over!
• Find something that makes you feel good and do it DAILY. There were several months during a very busy period of my life where I stopped reading books almost entirely. I was so exhausted each night when I crawled into bed that I didn’t even attempt to pick up a book. But then it hit me how much I missed them, so this year I’ve been really focused on trying to read more regularly. It started off feeling a little like a chore but now it’s turned into a nightly routine that I crave. If I’m really tired I may only read for 10 minutes before I fall asleep, but it’s better than nothing!
• Force yourself to be present. This one takes time and practice but it makes the biggest difference for me. When life gets particularly busy, my brain is often consumed with all of the things I should be doing when I step away from my computer or my phone. I might not be actively using technology, but I’m not really paying attention to my “real life” because I’m so busy thinking about other things. I’ve worked to train my brain to actually slow down and pay attention to what’s happening around me, and it makes a world of difference. When I’m having a particularly hard time with this, I like to go on a walk with Jackson and leave my phone at home. There’s something about being outside that forces me to slow down and take in my surroundings. The more I do this, the easier it gets!
• Remind yourself that it’s temporary. Someday, when we actually reach the goals that we’re working towards, I won’t be working a full-time job while also juggling a business on the side. I have no illusions about the fact that I’ll still have these issues after I quit my day job – I know that working from home makes it hard to draw clear lines between home time and work time. However, right now I’m squeezing all of my work into the margins where my actual life is supposed to go, and gaining an extra 40+ hours every week where I’m not focused on my other job will make a huge difference. The guilt subsides a bit when I remind myself that this is just a season of our lives, and someday I’ll be able to work from home and have even more time with Jackson. We’ll get there!

It’s still a work-in-progress, and more often than not I feel like I’m failing at being very present in the moment. However, it’s something I’m actively working on, and hopefully I’ll start to find that balance again soon.

What are some things you do to help yourself slow down when you’re in a busy season of life?