When people start asking (in their roundabout way) if and when we are going to have more kids, my immediate answer has been “definitely not now, so not ready!” Mr. Pizza and I sort of settled on three being an ideal number for us. Mr. Pizza came from a large family and would always say he wanted a lot of kids but never gave me a definitive number. And once we started having kids, I realized three kids was as much as I thought I could handle. Now that Lil’ Pizza is four and Baby Pizza is 20 months old, I am starting to wonder when I will want to TTC; Mr. Pizza was probably ready when Baby Pizza turned one.
Some things that are going through my mind as I consider when I will feel ready to have another baby:
Sleep. I think I mention sleep in a lot of my posts, but I really miss those days of spontaneous naps and sleeping in. Baby Pizza didn’t sleep through the night until I finally sleep trained her at 13 months. In retrospect, I wish I sleep trained her earlier because running on little sleep made me emotional, resentful and beyond exhausted. Those early months of caring for a newborn are so tiring that I feel like I need to relish these nights when I decide how much sleep I get.
I wonder how Baby Pizza will handle a new baby in our house. When I was pregnant with Baby Pizza, I wasn’t overly concerned about Lil’ Pizza having jealously issues because she didn’t get overly possessive of me when I held another baby. We’ve had several friends announce their pregnancy, and that has gotten Lil’ Pizza excited about the possibility of another baby in the house. She’s taken on the title of being the eldest really well. Baby Pizza, on the other hand, has been quite attached to me from the minute she was born. I know this might sound a little crazy to some, but she hadn’t been left with anyone other than Mr. Pizza or myself until she was 19 months old. This month, Baby Pizza has really been blossoming into her own person and has also been okay with some distance between us (and by distance I mean giving me some space when I go to the bathroom!) so I guess we are moving in the right direction. 
Lil’ Pizza loves any opportunity to read to Baby Pizza.
There are the practical aspects that I am thinking about. Ideally, I would like to have all the kids be two to three grades apart from another which doesn’t allow for too much time to pass. There are also financial decisions we have to make such as purchasing a minivan and simply taking serious steps to being more wise with our finances.
Lil’ Pizza was sure to give Baby Pizza a bite of her cookie because obviously, her parents forgot to give her one.
Having a second baby made my relationship with Mr. Pizza more complicated. In our own separate bubbles, with me as a SAHM and Mr. Pizza working, we were busy and stressed to our limits that we had very little to offer to meet each other’s needs with love. We still have a lot of work to do but we are in a better place of supporting each other now. Inevitably, having a third will shake things up again and we will have to keep learning to best navigate through the difficult periods.
Honestly, I think my biggest hurdle are my own fears and anxieties. I’ve struggled through the newborn stage twice; both girls had reflux and both times I struggled to breastfeed and that caused quite an emotional start into motherhood (twice). Emotions are so raw and in constant flux in those early months and some days, it felt like an eternity.
Some days I start to think about all these things: the lack of sleep, the jealousy concerns, the finances, and our marriage and fear and anxiety start to creep up. And then, I have days like today when I am under a huge fort with our whole family as we read books with a flashlight, and I am completely in the moment and can’t help but smile with so much gratitude. Those are the moments to treasure which make all the difficult times worth it. I love seeing the growing bond between Baby Pizza and Lil’ Pizza. I think about the times this week when the girls were playing hide and seek all over the house or the laughter from the girls as they splashed each other in the bathtub. My heart is full and my worries subside and I start to wonder how another little human being could change our family… for the better.
How did you know you were ready for more kids?
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
For us, it’s a matter of age gap between the kids and my age. I’m an older mom right now so if I let myself let too much time pass, I put myself into the higher risk bucket strictly based on age. Plus, my pregnancies tend to be quite eventful against my liking so earlier is also better. Currently, we’re thinking when DD turns 18 months we’ll consider TTC again. Like you, I think 3 will be our max, but sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever be done having a baby. I love babies way too much. But I think 3 will be our max even though I thought 2 would be sufficient previously.
cherry / 141 posts
My second is 13 months old currently and we are NOT going to have anymore. I still get the fuzzy “let’s have more babies feelings” but we are ready for a new chapter. I just started exercising again regularly and I’m getting my body back (although still breastfeeding and missing real bras). Also he hasn’t slept through the night so I’m not wanting to open myself up to more sleepless nights.
We did have a 3 1/2 year age gap between our kids and that was great for us. It would be rough having a baby and toddler for us. My daughter was day potty trained and fully and then overnight potty trained when my second was 6 months old. I didn’t want my world to revolve around nappies.
Anyway I’m content to see my friends have babies and I can help them out and not be TIRED anymore….
goodluck with your decision
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
Love hearing this update about your family! I think both your girls would be great big sisters and maybe your third will surprise you and be a great sleeper
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
@kellyrae: I totally feel you on wanting to start a new chapter. It’s exciting to think about the different types of things you are able to do as a family and for yourself once the kids get a bit older. I’m glad you have some friends with babies to get your baby fix when you need it!;)
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
@Mrs. Juice: I feel like every family should have at least one chill baby that is an amazing sleeper….riiiight??