Hellobee

When our little guy received his Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) diagnosis, I went into over-protective mommy mode. I shut down any chance of him contracting an illness by restricting outings and visitors. Post-surgery, we didn’t drive anywhere because hitting the brakes suddenly could cause his sternum bone to crack open again. I took no chances. For me, it was necessary and it worked because he stayed healthy enough for surgery and post-op recovery. But now, it’s time for a shift in my parenting. Our little guy is two-years-old. He’s catching up on growth, development and his heart is functioning well. For those reasons and a few others, I’ve stepped back from my over-protective parenting mode.

While our little guy is still young, it’s clear we have a wild child on our hands. This kid wakes up and immediately climbs the bathroom closet, at 5 am no less. He climbs, jumps, busts his lip, and keeps going. This kid has two speeds: on and off. It would be going against his nature to hold him back. Another reason for allowing rough and tumble play is the therapeutic benefit he may get from sports. As he grows, he may continue to struggle with sensory integration issues. Organized sports and outdoor activity might be the healthy outlet he needs to help him with sensory issues.

To that end, we are thinking of signing him up for T-Ball next year in preschool. The thought of cute little hats and running to the wrong base are adorable. But soon enough, that turns into real baseball, with real baseballs thrown and potentially hitting his chest. That thought scares me, but I’m trying not to dwell on it. Plus, it seems relatively safer than some contact sports. And I know he needs exercise for his heart to be healthy just like the rest of us. This doesn’t mean I won’t be concerned about his heart function, that’s never going away.

In the early days after his diagnosis, I googled stories about kids with CHD. I found too many stories with lots of struggles and sad endings. But one story was inspiring, and it stuck with me. It was about a teenage boy who had undergone a heart transplant and was back playing ice hockey in time for the playoffs. At the time, I could not imagine letting our little guy play a full contact sport as a teenager. The most I was willing to consider was competitive fishing. Even then, I hoped my little guy fell in love with playing guitar. But now I understand the perspective those parents must have.

I’ve learned, it’s never the thing you worry about that happens. Believe me, my baby having a heart defect was not on my radar of worries when I was pregnant. I didn’t even know that was a medical issue. But what has changed my mind the most is our visits to the hospital. Seeing the same kids there for treatment, and thinking, wow this kid is still stuck in the hospital. Life is meant to be lived, and not in a hospital if you can avoid it. Sometimes, it feels like our family got the “get out of jail” free card. Our son got the excellent prognosis. We are not waiting on more surgeries like so many other CHD families. Our little guy got a second chance, and I don’t want to be the one that holds him back.