Something I never really considered in parenting was ways to get my kids to talk to me. This seems like such an easy task. You ask questions, they respond. But the truth is, kids are strange and their ability to answer even the simplest questions can be a challenge. So, in my quest to know as much about my kids as possible, I’ve been using some simple techniques to get them to talk to me.
One of the best places for me to be able to chat with the kids is in the car. LeLe especially is fun to talk to in the car because she loves being silly and telling me about her day. When we are going somewhere, I like to ask her questions about her favorite things. This usually gets the ball rolling, and from there, I can ask her about the things she is worried about, or the things she really wants to do. This has been working for a while now and we have been having some really interesting and fun conversations.
For Little Bug, he seems to respond well to having pretend conversations on his phone (an old phone of mine that has no battery in it). We talk on the phone and I think that the pretending is actually helping him form sentences. I also like that this is a no pressure game for him. He loves talking on his phone and it’s nice for me because I can get him to speak a little more and I can ask for clarification as well, which I think is helping his speech become more refined.
Another great place to catch the kids and get them to talk is in the bathtub. They are always so happy in the tub, so getting them to talk about their days is super easy during this time. I can also do a game with them where I ask them to name their favorite characters and this leads to favorite movies. It is a transition from a simple question to a series of simple questions. There is so much time for pretend play here and the two of them come up with some pretty crazy scenarios.
With both of my kids, they love having alone time with one of us. I try to get some time each day with each of them and these are the perfect times to talk about anything. With LeLe, this usually happens at the end of the night when Little Bug has fallen asleep. I turn off the lights and we talk about her day, and what she wants to do tomorrow. She tells me about the things that she likes or dislikes, the characters on her show she watches, the shenanigans her dolls have gotten into during the day. It is really nice, and I often hear from her “Mommy, lets talk” at night before we go to sleep. This tactic works with Little Bug too. I usually catch him when LeLe is helping Mr. Cereal with something or playing her games, at swimming, or just doing her own thing. It’s obviously a little harder with a two-year-old, but the key with him is to ask a lot of questions and then clarify what he means by repeating his words. He does a super adorable face during these very serious conversations and I think that these are helping him be more confident in his speech. I have also learned a lot from these interactions, and I often say that it is sort of like learning a foreign language.
Talking with your kids can be tough. I can imagine that as my kids get older I will need to find different ways to engage them, but for now the things I am trying are working. I want to know as much about my kids as possible and I want them to feel like they can always come to talk to me, so I think starting as young as possible and making conversations with them a priority will help us in the long run.
Do you have any tactics for talking with your kids? Any tips for older kids?
cherry / 141 posts
It’s so hard! I think you are exactly right you have to see when and where to catch that specific child. My daughter who is now 5 will just clam up which is odd for a overly chatty child but when I ask serious questions she gets really quiet. Saying positives within the conversation and questions helps. Like “wow that’s a super smart way to think about those things” or “what did you do specifically today?” I might lead into a question “did you jump on a rope?” If she didn’t she surely will tell me and then she will say what she actually did. “NO but we read a new book.” We chat in the car since we drive a lot to go anywhere. When we used to ride the subway we would chat there.
clementine / 806 posts
This is really helpful – I’m looking for some new ideas.
DS will turn 3 in September, and he responds really well to specific questions. I often ask about his day (knowing the answers based on the daycare schedule) on our drive home, and he often responds “I don’t know”. But we usually get there when I narrow down his thought process through specific guesses…
mom: what did you eat for lunch today?
DS: i don’t know
mom: was it hippopotamus? (absurd)
DS: hahahaha, NOOOOOO!
mom: was it spaghetti and meatballs? (more plausible)
DS: No, not meatballs
mom: was it roast turkey? (this is what the menu said)
DS: YES! I had turkey for lunch! And fruit and green beans!!
pomelo / 5621 posts
DS is 4 and we have some great talks in the car in the mornings. They range from silly things to serious things and it is time when we can just focus on the conversation.
apple seed / 3 posts
Hello everybody. Personally, I do not consider this a big problem. Everything depends on motivation. And first of all from yours.
If you have not set yourself a clear goal, you will never achieve it.
If you yourself are afraid to start such a responsible step, then it is better to consult a specialist. With this it is better not to joke. Everything should be perfect.
Have a nice day!!