It’s amazing how much parenting has changed in just one generation. When I was a kid growing up in the city, all the neighborhood kids played outside completely unsupervised until the sun set. We had so much freedom to do just about anything we wanted – ride bikes, climb trees, get into mischief. Luckily nothing really bad ever happened to any of us, but I can’t fathom letting my kids have the same amount of freedom I had at their age because times are different, kids are much less independent, and I’d be arrested!
Living in the Philippines, however, has allowed us to be more free range parents than we could be in the US. Local children here are left to their own devices pretty much from the age of 3 on, but because they have older siblings, cousins, and friends looking out for them, there is safety in numbers. While I will never be comfortable allowing the kids to be in the pool or ocean unsupervised at this age, we do try to give them a lot of freedom to run around and play. They’re usually without direct adult supervision most of the day, every single day.
It was a simpler, more carefree time in the early 80’s when I grew up. To remind you what it was like, here are 15 things my parents did (and yours probably did as well) that we couldn’t do as a parent today:
1) Leave us home alone. I’m told that when my brother and I lived with my grandparents for six months in Korea when we were 2 and 3, they left us home alone all day while they worked across the street. When we got hungry, we had to walk across the busy street to their business. My parents also regularly left us home alone at young ages, and I still vividly remember waking up one night when I was 5, and no one was home except my younger brother. My parents had gone to the market 2 blocks away and left us sleeping alone.
2) Let us explore freely. We went camping very frequently throughout my entire childhood and my parents never told us not to do something. We could explore, swim in creeks, play by the campfire. They trusted that we knew how to take care of ourselves and not go too far. The same held true for when we played outside.
3) Leave us alone in a parked car. My dad used to take a flower arranging class and left us alone in the parked car out front the entire time. I was 5 and my brother was 4. And they left us alone in the car to grab something quickly in the market all the time. But the manual crank windows were rolled down!
4) Not use a car seat and when we were older, no seat belt. We never owned a car seat and neither did anyone else we knew. We sat in laps, we rode in the back of pickup trucks, and we never wore our seatbelts when we rode in the back of our stationwagon.
5) Pretty much unrestricted sugar. Our lunches usually had some kind of sugary snack like fruit roll-ups and sugary drinks like Hi-C and Capri Sun. We were allowed to buy what we wanted from the ice cream truck, and you could get a lot for 50 cents! We drank a lot of soda. My friends and I walked to the local 7-11 half a mile away all the time and bought slurpees and junk food any time we had a little money.
6) Unsupervised swimming. We went to the beach often when I was a kid, and my parents were usually busy cooking and didn’t watch us closely. We also swam unsupervised in swimming pools all the time.
7) No helmets. Bikes and rollerskates were our method of transportation and no one ever wore a helmet.
8) Fireworks. Every fourth of July we played with fireworks in front of our house with the neighborhood kids. Though fireworks were legal at the time, we also easily obtained illegal fireworks locally that came from Mexico like M-80s.
9) Smoked in the car. We went on a lot of road trips and my dad smoked in the car (with the windows down). But it was also legal to smoke on airplanes, restaurants, and buy cigarettes from vending machines. There was a lot of secondhand smoke when we were kids.
10) Let us watch movies that we were too young for… on our tv with the manual knob to change channels and bunny ear antenna. I remember watching The Exorcist on tv when I was maybe 5 or 6. In general my parents let us watch anything that was on late night tv, although they didn’t let us rent R and PG-13 rated VHS cassettes when we were young.
11) Go to the local carnivals. We were always so excited when a traveling carnival passed through town. But when I went to one as an adult, all I could see were the rickety rides that looked like they could collapse any minute. The ride I rode was terrifying, and I’m a rollercoaster junkie!
12) Let us taste beer. I think parents thought it was funny back in the day because kids thought it tasted horrible.
13) Overload the car. One time we had friends from Korea visiting, and we fit 13 people into our 1977 red Chevy station wagon and drove an hour to Disneyland!
14) They let us cook. I cooked simple things like eggs and ramen noodles all the time in elementary school.
15) Corporal punishment. Most of my friends got hit as punishment, and my parents were actually one of the few that didn’t hit us (this was also very cultural of course too). But there is a form of punishment in Korean culture where you kneel and keep your hands raised in the air and we definitely had to do that.
. . . . .
What did your parents do raising you that you couldn’t imagine doing today?
squash / 13208 posts
yep most of these ring true for how I was raised as well.
I remember being out for 6-7 hours exploring in the woods with friends, riding bikes, going to a local shopping center, etc and our parents had no clue where we were -no phone to call us on – we were just told to be home for dinner – CRAZY in today’s world!!!
persimmon / 1390 posts
The one thing that drives me absolutely crazy and maybe I’m a bad mom for admitting it but is the not being able to leave a kid in a parked car to run to the non-drive up ATM or in to get one thing at the convenience store or that kind of thing in our little safe town (obviously not in warm weather, and yes no where is a safe bubble). The kids hate getting out, I hate getting them out (especially if they’re sleeping!), and they’re locked in the car and I can see the car from where I am. The fear of doing it is not because they’d be in danger, but that someone would see them in the 5 minutes I’m gone and call CPS.
blogger / apricot / 482 posts
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been tempted to leave my children in the car for just two minutes (when it’s not hot, etc. in a very safe neighborhood) but I’m so paranoid about other people calling the police. A little common sense would go a long way, I think!
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
I wonder how many of these things you list are more regional. I was born in 1980 in Canada and there are many things on that list my parents would never have done. I was at least 8 before I got left home for a bit (and my grandparents lived next door, so it wasn’t even completely alone). We got left in the car for quick errands but never for the length of a class (which I’m assuming would be at least 1/2 hr). My mom definitely restricted sugar and, never let us swim alone or play with fireworks. And it’s funny, because i would have defined my childhood as free range.
blogger / grape / 99 posts
So many of these are familiar to me too! I remember sitting in the car for an hour while my mom went grocery shopping. I started babysitting my neighbors kids (3 of them, including a baby!) at age 10, and this was totally OK and normal!
persimmon / 1390 posts
Yea I think not regional, but just the type of parents you had. We didn’t get unrestricted sugar but I knew plenty of kids that did. Everything else on the list applies except being left home super young! I think 9 was the youngest.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I had the complete opposite of a free range childhood and people are always so shocked when I talk about it…I wasn’t allowed out of the yard and I couldn’t even ride my bike around the block! My dad did smoke in the house and the car, they just weren’t aware back then, but my mom absolutely restricted our sugar intake and we were never at home alone.
guest
The car one is so frustrating. I remember asking to stay in the car ALL the time when i was a kid. But now I am so paranoid about leaving my son in the car for even a few minutes to, say, drop of Amazon returns at UPS or return a Redbox DVD. I make my husband do all those errands on the way home from work now.
grapefruit / 4045 posts
I was born in the early 80s and I did not experience most of these things! I was honestly never alone. However, one year before I was born, a 6 year old boy was abducted the day before fourth of July while he walked to get fire works. Helicopters were in the air calling out his name and it was horrifying to my mom, as you can imagine. So we were never alone. We actually even had car seats (albeit very janky ones). I can’t imagine one thing different about my own childhood that I will do with my current kids. Except helmets for bikes. But I also do know a adult who recently died while riding his bike without a helmet.
I still don’t wear one myself! 
pomelo / 5258 posts
@agold: I was in a car seat until elementary school. I have no idea what the weight/size limit was. My mom kept me and my brother in them to keep us separated. She said she got a lot of crap about it from the other parents at pickup.
My mom also forbade loading up the car excessively. If my Girl Scout troop tried to transport more girls than seat belts (a fairly regular occurrence) she pulled me from the trip.
In my neighborhood the kids run freely until sunset. Im not sure what their perimeter is but they stay concentrated in front of my house. It’s something I’m working up to with my 4.5 yo. She has free reign of the (small) block – outdoors only.
grapefruit / 4045 posts
@Corduroy: Kids in my neighborhood and the next also roam and scoot freely! I figure them to be about 8 years old and up, but I for sure know that one boy who is about 6 tags along. I honestly am always shocked at this. They are playing in the streets and stuff. Another comes to my house when me niece is over. And I’m always wondering what their own parents are doing or thing!
persimmon / 1390 posts
@agold: This sounds a lot like my neighborhood. A lot of kids walk to elementary school alone (it goes through 4th grade so they are 10 max), or head to the playgrounds alone. It’s a safe town, with sidewalks. I’m guessing the parents are relaxing! I look forward to it.
pomelo / 5621 posts
@Corduroy: Our neighbourhood is like this too. Lots of kids playing outside with minimal supervision starting at about 5. We are working towards this with DS, he will be 5 next summer.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Grace: I think because I grew up in an immigrant neighborhood, we probably had more freedom than the average kid (lots of latchkey kids and parents working long hours). but even the nonimmigrant kids played outside freely!
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
Yup…pretty much everything on here was very similar! It’s crazy how much has changed. I wish some things were like it used to….but other things I am thankful that it has changed. I have to admit, it’s hard for me as an adult to want to wear a helmet bc I never did growing up. It helps to have children bc I do it to set a good example.
blogger / apricot / 275 posts
I loved this list! I think kids thrive best with a little (or a lot) of unrestricted, free play, but parents these days seem so hesitant to just let kids play. My kids often go outside, even on cold days, without hats or gloves or coats – they quickly come back in if they’re cold, but people look at me like I’m crazy ha.
blogger / apricot / 275 posts
such a great reminder of how things were not long ago
blogger / apricot / 335 posts
Oh man… all of this is so true! I remember cooking on the stove at a VERY young age. One time I melted cheese in the microwave (as a snack) and the glass exploded and I still ate it, crunching on my glass cheese. Wow. #howamIalive