In October of this last year, I changed positions at my job. It was a huge change, but it has been amazing so far. My new position means that I am working directly with students, which is a dream come true for me, but it also means that I am working longer hours, I no longer am able to work from home on a regular basis, and I have to travel significantly more. But I am seriously the happiest I have been professionally speaking that I have ever been.
For me, the timing felt right. The kids are getting more self-sufficient and Mr. Cereal’s job is also transitioning, so he has been able to fill in the gaps that I have left. One of the things that I’ve found the most difficult is balancing the time I have with the kids, and the time I am spending on my job. I wrote early on here at Hellobee that I had chosen to stay in a job that was not fulfilling at all, but it meant that I was able to spend more time with my kids. And that worked for a long time, but with the completion of my master’s degree, I was itching to move up and start using my skills.
Within a month of changing positions, I had to travel to Chicago for work. Normally, this is probably not that big of a deal for most parents, but for me, this was the first time I had ever left Little Bug, and only the second time I had left LeLe. To make it even more complicated, I was still breastfeeding Little Bug and I knew that if I went to Chicago for a few days, I would probably lose my supply. When it came right down to it, the build-up of leaving was so much worse than actually leaving. The kids did just fine, I had fun and got to sleep alone in a bed for the first time in 4 years. It was a win-win.
I can’t help but feel guilty some of the time. Both for being away from the kids, but also because Mr. Cereal has had to take on a lot more and for some reason, this makes me feel badly. On the other hand, I feel incredibly powerful in my job. I am making positive and lasting changes in the lives of college students, I am expanding my network exponentially, meeting so many new and interesting people, and I am being asked to talk about the program I am working for at conferences and workshops. I really do think that even though this is taking some of my leisure time, I am modeling to my children that a career that makes you happy and fulfilled can be a really amazing thing.
I worry that I am missing things, but there is a really nice element of the kids actually missing me, which almost never was displayed before. I love talking to them on the phone when I am gone and having them tell me about their days, I love being able to tell them about the places I am traveling to, and I love that I am showing them how to work hard and be successful.
Have you experienced a similar change in your career? Please share your experiences.
nectarine / 2433 posts
This resonates with me although it is not necessarily new. I am the primary breadwinner and as a couple we have structured our lives to allow me to pursue a career and it fulfills me so much. I am heading home after a 3 night work trip and although I missed my LO a ton the trip has been very exciting and I have had the opportunity to grow my profile in the area where I am working and meet new people. I’m glad that the change has been a positive one for you Mrs. Cereal
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I can completely relate too, though I am more in the “at the dead end job for the kids” end. I am 100% unwilling to change for now b/c while I can’t WFM, I’m close to home so it really helps with emergencies, doctor appointments, etc. I am STILL hesitant to find a new job (that would double/triple my commute) even when they’re older, because I feel like the older they are the more time I actually need to spend with them. So we will see!
persimmon / 1390 posts
I really like where I work, but I do not enjoy traveling in the sense of being away from the kids. I have an overnight every September that’s always a week after a trip my husband and I take without the kids, and this February-May I have three multi-night trips. It breaks my heart being away from them, but the trainings and conferences are usually very worthwhile so it’s even worse. I do love getting a good nights sleep though! I also rarely talk to my kids when I’m away because it just upsets them.
clementine / 830 posts
i love hearing this! i feel similarly about my job–it’s fulfilling and challenging and really gives me a sense of self. but it is hard to balance sometimes because it definitely requires a sacrifice of time. i actually worry about it a bit from the other end, because i always told myself i would only do this for X years before moving back to a slightly less demanding (way less lucrative) job to have more time for sporting events, middle/high school issues, etc. but i really worry at the same time if i’m going to be able to handle the shift in professional fulfillment that comes with it. so glad to hear you are loving your job!!
clementine / 920 posts
I have actually moved to a position that gives me more flexibility and I can WFH a few days a week which has been a huge help with all of DS’s therapy and doctor appointments. With #2 on the way I know it is the right place for now but eventually will move on to something I am more passionate about.
I moved from a very time consuming and challenging job that although stressful gave me a feeling of accomplishment.
pear / 1622 posts
I am happy for you! It seems so hard to find the right mix of a job that makes you feel good, allows you to support your family and having a work life balance too. The work that came with travel was my favorite part of my job but since having kids I try not to travel since DH is in school and I am the go to for appointments and everything. I feel good that I am pulling it off as much as I have to date and think I may travel more when he is done with school. I see my kids learn so much at daycare/preschool and they love it and it makes me feel good that they have that opportunity.
pomelo / 5573 posts
I had to travel for my job for the first time just before Christmas. It was only 3 days, but it was the first time I’d left my youngest overnight and the second time I’d left the oldest, and I was just sick about it. It turned out to be much harder on me than on them, they had a great time with Dad while I cried after every FaceTime, but I also got to visit with old friends and eat whatever I wanted for dinner without also trying to convince a four year old to eat it.
clementine / 874 posts
I think the freedom to have a career that adapts to the needs of moms as their kids go through different stages is critical.
Sometimes your kids just need you. And sometimes you just need a break