Hellobee

During my time at Hellobee, I’ve talked a lot about the things we’ve done that we’re not supposed to do, the skills I still need to work on, dealing with imposter syndrome, and other parenting mistakes and fears. But even with the knowledge that I’m not a perfect parent, that I get frustrated with my children, that I make mistakes every day — I am also proud of many things. I hope this post doesn’t come off as bragging (see above for many of the things I do wrong) or as criticizing parents who don’t make the same choices (I prioritize some things and let others slide; other parents make the opposite choices and we all only have so much bandwidth). I can be very hard on myself, as many mothers can be, thinking of everything we failed to do (and what skills my children still need to work on) instead of looking at the things we managed to accomplish. So I think it’s good to take a step back from being self-critical sometimes to acknowledge successes.

Here are some of the things I’m proud of:

• Lion and Panda adore each other. Okay, probably not something I can fully take credit for as their personalities play such a big part in the way they interact and relate to each other. Still, we have worked hard to foster a good sibling relationship, and their teachers and many other parents have commented on how much they love each other and how well they play together. They are best friends and I hope their bond continues.
• I feed my family a home cooked dinner every day. Almost every night, my family gets a home cooked meal. We rarely go out to eat or get delivery because it can be expensive. We don’t do a lot of processed foods (though I’ve been easing up on that) or fast food, because I want my kids to eat healthy. We eat a variety of foods, though I’ve been trending more toward vegetarian recently, and explore a variety of cuisines. We eat out or get delivery maybe once a month, sometimes less.
• We eat dinner as a family. I know that at this age, probably most families eat together, but as I’ve talked about before this is really a priority for me. During dinner, we talk about our days and how we were kind. After dinner, Lion and Panda know they need to ask to be excused and will take their plates to the sink. Lion often does this without any prompting or reminding.
• We use relatively little screen time. Screen time can be a hot-button issue and a struggle. To be honest, I’ve found that the less screen time we use, the less fights we have over it. Other than on airplanes or cruise ships, Lion basically had no TV time before the age of 2. While we would have the occasional Skype session or he would might look at photos (of himself, of course) on our phones once a month, we were really good about no screen time. Even Panda had relatively little screen time before the age of 2, though he had a bit more exposure. Now that Panda is over the age of 2, I have relaxed a bit. We used to allow the kids to watch either one movie or a couple of TV shows one weekend a month. Nowadays, I’d say that we probably do a kids’ movie or TV night every other weekend, but I am still pretty happy with that amount.
• I am a full-time working mom with various side hustles. For sure, I never imagined that I would do anything but a full-time working mom. I earned a college degree and then a law degree. I spent a lot of time, money and energy into earning those degrees, so I definitely wanted to continue working even after kids. In addition to my full-time job, I write here, for another blog on legal issues, and serve as a consultant for various organizations. To be honest, for me, working full-time makes me a better mom. I generally feel refreshed, energized and fulfilled at work in a way that parenting doesn’t. As I mentioned before, for most of my life, I never wanted children and even though I love Lion and Panda dearly, being a mom does not define me nor would it fulfill me. I acknowledge how lucky I am that my job affords me the opportunity to have a somewhat flexible schedule. I drop my kids off at 7am then head into work early. I then leave in the late afternoon to pick up the kids, and then am able to hop back online after the kids go to bed.
• My kids are really kind. I am so proud of this, but not really because of anything I’ve done. This really falls more into the bucket of: I’m proud of my kids. Lion, in particular, has a really big heart. He is kind, emotionally intelligent and is always looking for ways to make others happy. While we try to encourage a servant’s heart, I think Lion’s natural tendency is to think of others.
• We travel with the kids. Now here is where I absolutely have to acknowledge my privilege. We have the ability to take our kids on vacation because we have jobs with ample vacation time, plus enough funds to do so. While we still have a crazy amount of student debt, traveling is something that we’re willing to put away some money to do. I was worried that we would be too afraid to travel with the kids, but I’m so glad that we do because of all the great benefits that I’ve talked about before (for both the kids, as well as for Mr. Dolphin and myself) even if they won’t necessarily remember. I love showing the kids the world, exposing them to new cultures, and teaching them to be good travelers. In addition to various cities in the United States, we’ve traveled to Italy, Greece, Montenegro, Croatia, Turkey, Belize and Mexico with the kids and hope to add more cities and countries later this year.
• We read every day and our children love books. Lion loved books from the day he was born and we’ve read to him every, single night. As an infant, we found that if he was cranky, we could often soothe him by reading to him. He surpassed 1,000 books probably in the first six months of his life, and definitely surpassed 1,000 different titles by the time he turned three. We go to the library and check out between 70-90 books every 2-3 weeks, depending on what we’re doing on a particular weekend. And we go through all of them. Lion has grown into enjoying chapter books, though he still loves picture books, as well. It is definitely his favorite activity. With Panda, it was a little harder to instill a love of books, but I kept trying. As an infant and young toddler, he would often get impatient and flip pages before I was done reading or would only sit through the shortest of books. Today, though, he loves picking three books we read at bedtime each night and will often ask, “When it’s wake up time, will you read more?”

What are the parenting things you’re proud of?