Hellobee

A year will be through by the time my family and I are back on our own, making our own decisions and our own mistakes again. My husband, myself and two kids are living on the top floor of my parents’ house while I recover from the brain bleed I had this past March. Most of the time, I’m genuinely grateful for the place and the help! They are entirely accommodating and have even insisted on moving to the basement and on us moving into their old bedroom to spread out family across the top floor for the time we’re here.

When I start looking around and wondering how this is my life (going from the countryside of Thailand to a suburb of Edmonton is very strange), I get frustrated at the circumstances that led us here. We were going to fly back to North America together before our daughter turned two – instead, she turned two in a Thai hospital and I can barely remember it. It’s painful at times, until I realize that at least I was present, and I get to be here for so many more of her birthdays since we made it through that time. Not to mention my son’s life!

Part of my therapy is to get some really light exercise every day so today I used a stationary bike in the basement and I watched the beginning of Expedition Happiness which is about a couple who remodeled a bus and started road tripping in Canada. I feel inspired after seeing the beginning because I feel like a lot is possible. Yes we have two kids and I’m recovering from a brain injury so yes we have to move slower than in the past or even than others we see in films or books, but a lot seems possible.

Reflecting on our life I think to myself, well, let’s have me recover here with support until sometime in March since that was the original plan. We can have next steps figured out by then. It can be as simple as go to Michigan and get a big trailer first. Then we can get me tested in August and if my brain is ready (basically if my AVM is closed up and has no more blood flow) we can move the trailer wherever we want to go next. If it’s not ready, me and the baby (who’s $0) can fly to the next place we want to stay and meet up with the other two. (Driving runs the risk of me being far away from a hospital that can tackle my AVM). The timeline for obliteration I’ve been told by Doctors is 1-3 years. But we don’t have to settle on a place yet then. We can take our house with us. Our daughter isn’t in school yet. We can still be free. We can check out Oregon. We can decide where to go.

I’m not saying this will be the plan – we still have a lot of time between now and our departure and this is just the beginning but at least we can imagine together and I feel my recovery is going well enough to dream big.